How Shall I Tell the Dog?: And Other Final Musings [Hardcover]

Miles Kington (Author), Caroline Kington (Afterword)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 7, 2009

In this hilarious and moving book, popular English humorist Miles Kington faces cancer and death with his sparkling trademark wit, musing on everything from board games and yodeling to the prospect of being outlived by his dog.

When some people are told they have only a few months to live, they might travel around the world or write their memoirs or put their affairs in order. When it happened at the age of 66 to Miles Kington-one of England's best-loved humorists-he did what he did best, offering sharp, wry, laugh-out-loud observations and ideas about his situation. Following his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, Kington proposes crazier and crazier ideas for his next book (what he calls "cashing in on cancer") in a series of letters to his literary agent, Gill.

And what sort of things capture Kington's attention in his waning months? The sudden grimness of those 1,000 Places to See Before You Die books, for example. (What about 100 Things to Do Before You Die, Without Leaving Home?, he suggests. Instead of bungee jumping and whitewater rafting, learn to whistle with two fingers in your mouth, yodel, or steam open envelopes.) The irony that his dog, Berry, will probably outlive him, or the semi-outrageous idea of creating a funeral video:

The answer is quite simple.

Make a video in advance of my farewell speech, to be shown on a monitor, from the pulpit, or on a screen behind the stage, or wherever the best place would be.

I have already visualised the opening shot.

It is of me, smiling ruefully, and saying to camera: "Hello. I'm sorry I couldn't be here in person with you today."

Mischievous and utterly original, Miles Kington's words in the face of death are memorable and surprisingly uplifting.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Written as a series of fictional letters to his agent and friend, Gill, proposing the book he has more or less written, late British humorist Kington (1941-2008) offers a witty, bittersweet slice of meta-nonfiction about his struggle with pancreatic cancer-or, more precisely, his struggle to write a book about it: "phrases like 'cashing in on cancer' give quite the wrong impression. What I mean is, 'making cancer work for its living.'" One letter is devoted to a list of cancer IFAQs, or Infrequently Asked Questions-what you wouldn't know to ask and wouldn't like the answers to besides-in which Kington gets wrapped up in ideas of denial (more like "cold-shouldering?") and astrology. Another responds to bestseller 1,000 Places to See Before You Die, which he calls "grimly prescient" and "nasty"; he proposes a more practical volume like A Hundred Things to Do Before You Die, with simpler goals like whistling loudly. And, inevitably, he considers the question of his healthy 10-year-old springer spaniel, who has at least five years on Kington. Throughout the goofy proceedings, Kington remains tuned to his condition but focuses on his relationships and life story, sparing much of the harsh physical reality; perhaps more stirring in omission, Kington writes around the pain to produce a touching, funny and life-affirming look at death.

Review

"Laughter was [Kington's] lifeblood. With unflinching courage and undiminished inventiveness, this unique, quirky wordsmith coped with his dying in the only way he could, by escaping into his surreal imagination and taking a squint at death's funny side." -Daily Mail (London) --Daily Mail (London)

"If I were still editor of The Times of London, I'd probably skip going to the office every day because I'd no longer find, in those pre-digital days, the sizzingly funny folios of copy from Miles Kington. They cheered us up to no end. He's done it again with this original memoir. How could he, for heaven's sake, when he's writing about his cancer? Don't flinch. Read it. You owe it to yourself." --Harold Evans, author of They Made America and The American Century --Harold Evans, author of They Made America and The American Century

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Newmarket Press (July 7, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 155704841X
• ISBN-13: 978-1557048417
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,683,883 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars A goodbye story, July 5, 2009

By 

Douglas E. Cornelius "doug cornelius" (Boston) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How Shall I Tell the Dog?: And Other Final Musings (Hardcover)

The late Miles Kington offers his observations about his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. The book is structured as a series of letters to his literary agent about ideas for a new book. Miles is looking for a way to "cash in on cancer."

The book is an interesting reading experience and occasionaly amusing. But I did not enjoy the book. In the touching parts he comes across as trying to be funny and the funny parts come across forced, as you see a dying man trying to make the best of his situation. The Afterword by Caroline Kingston was truly touching and moving.

At one point Kington writes: " I love chatting to lonely people. Either I amuse and charm them, or I bore them silly, and then they value their own company when I leave them alone twice as much as they had done ten minutes earlier." I think an analogy can be drawn to the readers of this book. Some will be amused and charmed, others will be happier to just put the book down.

4.0 out of 5 stars Learn from a Legendary Satirist's Example, November 22, 2011

By 

DoctorJoeE (North Caldwell, NJ) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: How Shall I Tell the Dog?: And Other Final Musings (Kindle Edition)

Perhaps no one except Miles Kington could have written such a book. (I suppose Shaw could have, but he wasn't granted a year's warning as Kington was.) And I understand why some Amazon reviewers were not amused; British humor is a bit subtle and dry for many Americans. Besides, Kington was never the legend here that he was across the Pond. (Picture a subtler, balder Andy Rooney.)

But this is an important book; all of us will embark on that Final Journey someday, and most of us deal with that certainty -- the only absolute certainty -- by ignoring it. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt; it's our favorite defense mechanism. ("I know I have to die," Woody Allen wrote. "I just don't want to be there when it happens.") As Kington explains, this is not wise; most folks arrive at the end of their lives, having known since childhood that such a time would eventually come, completely unprepared. This makes little sense. It's scary, yes; anything unknown -- and unknowable -- is scary. But in the end, facing your fears trumps avoiding them every time, and Kington's book will help you do that, gently and humorously. As one professional reviewer wrote, "Don't flinch, read it."

I wasn't crazy about the series-of-letters format, in which the book, in essence, documents its own creation -- hence one star subtracted. But Kington, writing with a very big boulder hanging over his head, may not have had sufficient time for revisions.

Few folks can accept death with serenity and grace; fewer still can articulate the process. We should all learn from Miles Kington's wonderful example.

2.0 out of 5 stars Not a fan of the humor, November 3, 2011

By 

Donna at Bites (Connecticut) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How Shall I Tell the Dog?: And Other Final Musings (Hardcover)

This is another one of my BEA ARCs that I thought looked endearing enough when I picked it up. It's slated as, "A book to make the Grim Reaper laugh" and I honestly thought it would be more musings about how to go about telling his dog that he was dying. I really don't want to criticize a dead guy's final book but . . .

I was just rather annoyed with the humor. I didn't find it all that funny. Maybe I didn't get the British wit. Maybe, to some people, there is something funny about a guy who just has nothing but ideas but no motivation to follow through with any of them. Considering its ringing motif throughout, I just found it annoying and, eventually, grating. Just shut up about the ideas already. You're obviously going nowhere with them. To me, that's what this guy did himself to his agent, which I only found more annoying.

Like I said, maybe that is the humor. I just didn't find it funny. I don't know who Miles Kington was. I've never heard of him before picking up this book. I couldn't tell you if I genuinely liked his humor or not. But judging by this book alone, I don't. It's exceptionally dry. And I like dry humor. I found this so dry it was, for the most part, humorless.

It wasn't the book I thought it was going to be which I think hardened it even more. There were a couple of chuckle parts but none of this laugh-out-loud that the blurb said would be in there. At least not for me. Again, maybe I just didn't get the humor. But hopefully someone else will.