Customer Reviews

How She Really Does It: Secrets of Successful Stay-At-Work Moms

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4 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(6)

 

 

I went back to work when my son was 8 months old. Like many mothers I worried incessently about how this would effect my relationship with my son. I wanted to stay home, but couldn't financially, so I've resigned myself that I have to work and make the best of it. So, I pick up this book thinking that it will give me concrete ways to be an effecting "working mom." Basically, it doesn't. All this book does is tell stories about super rich and powerful women who go to work because they want to. I could not relate at all to a bunch of upper-class exectives living in Manhatten who can afford a nanny and special schools and all the other perks that wealth and or celebrity bring. This booj offered no advice and was completely irrevelent to the middle class, who like me (a teacher), wants to really get some ideas on how to balance work and children.

Most of the moms profiled are truly high profile (Vera Wang, Liz Lange, Ann Curry, Soledad O'Brien) celebrities who make millions of dollars (though they work their butts off for their success) *and* are married to men who make money. Thus it was hard for me to relate to such women, who presumably have their pick of live-in legally documented nannies. Still, it is fun to read (schadenfreud) that even such women find it hard to work and raise small children at the same time. So much harder for the rest of us... True to their class, the celebrity moms complain in oblique, muted ways, not in a gut wrenching way. At first the writing struck me as fluff and PRish, but after finishing the book, I found it was innovative in getting these glamorous moms to bitch a little. Although some of the women Sachs profiles are non-celebrity upper yuppies, I would have liked the book more if she had profiled more middle class professional women from a greater mix of careers. Few perhaps no single moms or divorced moms or lesbian moms. The male income is a unspoken subtext. One irritating feature of the book was the physical descriptions ("pin straight black hair," "almond eyes," "stylish brunette," "attractive," "looks ten years younger") that (I thought) detracted from the stories and degraded the women by emphasizing their good looks. Isn't that what everyone else does.

I was caring for my three month old grandson, so his parents could go out for the first time together, and found myself reading this book. My daughter went back to work last week as a school psychologist, and it was a gut wrenching event for her, her husband and baby. Hubby is a new stay-at-home dad, and it is difficult for him too. No breaks, can't rush out for coffee whenever he needs a fix. This little boy needs his daddy all the time! This book by Wendy Sachs verifies that all of the feelings of loss, guilt and anger are right on and ok for mom and dad. Everyone feels the same. Some women are more successful at working than others, just as some women need to stay at home.

Wendy Sachs was a producer at "Dateline" and loved her job when she became pregnant. She wanted to go back to work after the baby was born, and then the next baby was born. Eventually she did go back, but she learned some lessons along the way. She met other women at a professional mommies get together. She learned the secrets of success of same women, and the not so successful secrets of others. She interviewed 10 women, most of them famous. But they all had their ups and downs. I found that Anne Curry gave the best advice and was the most down to earth. "You must learn to live without enough sleep, she encourages women, just try and organize your life the best you can. When your children are in school, it will all even out somewhat." Ye Gods, 6 years it takes, without sleep? All of the celebrities had guilt and sorrows. The missed soccer games, the plays, the children crying for mommy to stay home just 100 minutes!

Valuable advice and a book for every working mother to read. Or for every women who wants to work and to have children. Learn the best way to plan and organize, of course, it won't fit into your lifestyle, but you will gain some insight. My daughter is reading this book and was gratified that I had read it and agreed with the premise. She is not alone, nor is her husband or her baby. Highly recommended. prisrob

As others have expressed, I was disappointed that "normal" people were not interviewed for this book. Teachers, nurses, computer people etc. All the celebrities and highly-accomplished people made me feel small. It seemed kind of elitist to me. If it wasn't some lawyer or doctor, it was someone related to producing in broadcast television.

I am struggling with the SAHM and SAWM issue right now and am part-time SAWM. Some of the "unsuccessful" stories where the woman came back and said she shouldn't be in the book were very interesting to me.

The overall impression I got is that you have to work if you want to stay competitive. This I am not sure is true. Also no mention of normal type jobs. I guess it all comes down to your definition of success. The elitism I felt was that the definition of success in the book had to do with money, degrees and where you could get before having a baby. Then she was pushing for you to keep working if you could. I felt it was very anti-SAHM.

A previous reviewer's title was "Are you kidding me?" It summed up my experience so much I wish I had thought of it.

This book was so bad I was almost angry when I was finished. I bought this book right before I came back to work from maternity leave. At the time I had a newborn. Like most new moms, I was barely sleeping. I thought I had accomplished a lot in a day if I showered AND ran an errand. I didn't know how I was going to get it together to balance a demanding job and motherhood. I thought this book would give me some tips on holding it together.

Boy was I wrong. First, I could not relate -- at all -- to any of the women in the book. I went back to work out of financial necessity. These women were trying to decide between being a SAHM or six-figure salaries. Neither of those are options for me!! Second, it seemed the women who did decide to go back to work (again, to jobs with the earning potential to hire excellent live-in childcare) did it for themselves. I am satisfied with my career, but going back to it was not a choice.

I picked it up again after I had been back at work for a while. The only upside to this book is that I could relate when some of the working moms said, "It's really hard to balance work and motherhood."

But then again, that's not particularly insightful. It didn't take this book for me to figure THAT out.

How is it that a book that offers not a shred of practical advice gets the title "How She Really Does It"? This is a story-book about a bunch of executive women and their decisions to go back to work after baby, and how their employers handled it, with some commentary on whether such employer handled it well or not and how society needs to accommodate office-working moms better. Duh.

As a fulltime working mother with two small children under five years old, I am constantly facing the typical working mother conflicts of time, stress, guilt, angst... you name it. My girlfriends and I hash over these issues incessantly. I buy all of the "mom" books and usually feel somewhat disappointed somewhere between the introduction and chapter 2. They are either boring or simply don't apply to my life.

Wendy Sachs's book is different. It truly spoke to me. It was smart, funny, inspiring, poignant and helpful. I saw myself in many of the women Wendy interviewed. Yes, no one has an identical life and all of us have our own unique circumstances which is why as Wendy explains there is no 5-step easy solution to becoming the perfect mother, spouse or employee. But in reading other women's stories and sharing in their experiences it made me like I wasn't alone. This is a great, interesting, fun read for any mom wondering how do you do it all and still stay sane.

I highly recommend this book for working mothers everywhere who want examples of extraordinary women who are finding a balance in the professional/motherhood tug-of-war. This book landed in my lap at a critical juncture in my personal journey, and alleviated a lot of self-imposed working mother's guilt. Ms. Sach's collection of insights from the women she interviewed, along with her own personal experiences, helped me realize I was not alone in my ongoing struggle for balance, and there are options out there to be explored. Thanks to Ms. Sachs for telling these stories in her wonderfully read-able style.

This writer frustrated me. She focused only on wealthy corporate high-achievers; she believes evolution has given mothers a superior ability over fathers to remember whose birthday party is on which weekend and also to remember to pick up milk; she describes all her subjects according to hair and eye color and what they ate during the interview; and she really needs an editor to give her writing shape and focus. She made the same point in every single chapter; why bother w/chapters at all, if she's going to present the same themes on every page? And, perhaps my most visceral complaint, she equates feminism with not shaving legs and underarms and with burning bras. Skip this book.

I expected so much from this book, and I'm sure that's why I found it terribly disappointing. For starters, it was obviously rushed to print, and the editing is so poor as to be distracting. Add to that Sachs' failure to interview "mainstream mommies" and her focus on the emotional aspects of juggling motherhood and career, and I found myself wondering at the end why I'd invested time--precious for any working mother--in reading something completely devoid of practical tips and advice. I suppose it's a small comfort to know that celebrity moms feel pangs of guilt, too, but all in all, the title, "How She Really Does It: Secrets of Successful Stay-at-Work Moms" is misleading.