How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir [Hardcover]

Theo Pauline Nestor (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 15, 2008

“I feel like I’ve joined an enormous club, something like the Veterans of Foreign Wars. We are weary with battle fatigue and sometimes even gripped by nostalgia for the good old, bad old days, but our numbers are large,” writes Theo Pauline Nestor in this wry, fiercely honest chronicle of life after divorce.

Less than an hour after confronting her husband over his massive gambling losses, Theo banishes him from their home forever. With two young daughters to support and her life as a stay-at-home mother at an abrupt end, Nestor finds herself slipping from “middle-class grace” as she attends a court-ordered custody class, stumbles through job interviews, and–much to her surprise–falls in love once again. As Theo rebuilds her life and recovers her sense of self, she’s forced to confront her own family’s legacy of divorce. “I’m from a long line of stock market speculators, artists of unmarketable talents, and alcoholics,” writes Nestor. “The higher, harder road is not our road. We move, we divorce, we drink, or we disappear.”

Nestor’s journey takes her deep into her family’s past, to a tiny village in Mexico, where she discovers the truth about how her sister ended up living in a convent there after their parents divorced in the early sixties. What she learns ultimately brings her closer to understanding her own divorce and its impact on her two daughters. “I knew from experience that for children divorce means half the world is constantly eclipsed. When you’re with one parent, the other must always slip out of view,” Nestor writes.

Funny, openhearted, and brave, How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed will speak to anyone who has passed through the halls of divorce court or risked tenderness after loss. It marks the debut of an enchanting, deeply truthful voice.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A full-time mom and a part-time professor at the nearby University of Washington, Nestor had been married 12 years, raising two children with the man she loved. Then one afternoon, she discovered her husband had been using her bank card. He had a gambling problem, and she'd already warned him, if it started again, it would end their marriage. They agreed to have a good divorce, but Nestor had no idea how to reimagine her life as a single mother. As Nestor moves through what she's told are the three stages of divorce—shock/denial, adjustment and acceptance—she discovers she's a lot more resilient than she'd ever thought. She has good parenting instincts and some solid friends. With cheerfully self-deprecating humor, Nestor shares her divorce process, always giving generous credit to the family and friends who helped her, and in her telling she offers hope that if that's what readers are facing, they, too, can manage. (Apr.)
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Review

"Theo has a big heart, a real feeling for the pain and craziness of human life."
—Frank McCourt, author of Angela's Ashes

“Theo Nestor has an uncommon ability to evoke common yet very intense emotions. How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed is smart, astringent, funny, precise, candid, and possesses not an ounce of self-pity.”
—David Shields, author of The Thing About Life Is That One Day You’ll Be Dead

“Heartbreakingly honest, wryly funny, and revelatory . . . [Nestor’s] clever and relatable prose makes her tale endearing and insightful, and she sidesteps the clichés of a woman wounded with bittersweet honesty.”
—LadiesHomeJournal.com

“A divorced mother’s funny, chatty, revealing take on Splitsville–with just enough anguish and sadness to be utterly believable...An unexpected treat here is a vivid portrait of the author's thrice-married, utterly nonmaternal but generous mother...Women going through the pain and turmoil of separation and divorce will appreciate Nestor’s candor and wit. Not another slick how-to, but a comforting reminder that life goes on after the spouse is gone.” —Kirkus

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Crown; First edition (April 15, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307346765
• ISBN-13: 978-0307346766
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #836,537 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Humorous But I Have Two Complaints....., August 25, 2008

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R. Lynn - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir (Hardcover)

The first is that the author whines a lot about how poor she was during the divorce.....uh, having the means to turn down a job at Microsoft, having your kids in private school, and living in a fancy neighborhood is not poor. Poor is working your behind off and still not being able to make it. She works part-time, and sounds like she thinks that's too much. It is too bad her husband is a gambler, and I would have related more if she had shared something of how she specifically dealt with having lived with a liar for 12 years, but it didn't sound like he did all that much damage to their finances.

The second is that because the author jumps immediately into a rebound relationship with an ex-lover, much of the angst of being alone and lonely isn't expressed. And though the relationship is over by the end of the book, she doesn't share any of the ensuing loneliness (you have to deal with it sometime) and grief she must have felt once that post-divorce relationship no longer served to distract her from her actual divorce.

An entertaining read, but this memoir is not introspective enough for others to grow from it.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Expect the unexpected, April 16, 2008

By 

Abigail Carter (Seattle, WA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir (Hardcover)

I would never have expected to be as entertained reading a book about divorce as I was with this book. Nestor's quirky humour made her story infinitely appealing to an audience much broader than just people going through divorce. It is a wonderfully, honest commentary on life and marriage and parenting that will appeal to just about anyone, written in a style reminiscent of Anne Lamott. This book touches on so many realities in a fun, but provocative way. A must read!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Never divorced, never married, loved this book!, April 15, 2008

By 

Eve M. Tai "Eve" (Seattle) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir (Hardcover)

Theo Nestor's account of the end of her marriage had me riveted from beginning to end. I'm single and have never been married or divorced,but Nestor's tale transcended those demographics. Hers is really a story of transformation -- of falling apart and putting herself back together again. All of us are confronted at times with losing or never getting the life we've envisioned. Theo's story reminds me that along with loss comes gain -- that of honing away at our layers until we find the essence of who we really are. You'll love this story and her writing -- vivid, honest, funny and engaging.