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How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over [Paperback]

Theo Pauline Nestor
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)

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Book Description

February 3, 2009
“I feel like I’ve joined an enormous club, something like the Veterans of Foreign Wars. We are weary with battle fatigue and sometimes even gripped by nostalgia for the good old, bad old days, but our numbers are large,” writes Theo Pauline Nestor in this wry, fiercely honest chronicle of life after divorce.

Less than an hour after confronting her husband over his massive gambling losses, Theo banishes him from their home forever. With two young daughters to support and her life as a stay-at-home mother at an abrupt end, Nestor finds herself slipping from “middle-class grace” as she attends a court-ordered custody class, stumbles through job interviews, and–much to her surprise–falls in love once again. As Theo rebuilds her life and recovers her sense of self, she’s forced to confront her own family’s legacy of divorce. “I’m from a long line of stock market speculators, artists of unmarketable talents, and alcoholics,” writes Nestor. “The higher, harder road is not our road. We move, we divorce, we drink, or we disappear.”

Nestor’s journey takes her deep into her family’s past, to a tiny village in Mexico, where she discovers the truth about how her sister ended up living in a convent there after their parents divorced in the early sixties. What she learns ultimately brings her closer to understanding her own divorce and its impact on her two daughters. “I knew from experience that for children divorce means half the world is constantly eclipsed. When you’re with one parent, the other must always slip out of view,” Nestor writes.

Funny, openhearted, and brave, How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed will speak to anyone who has passed through the halls of divorce court or risked tenderness after loss. It marks the debut of an enchanting, deeply truthful voice.


From the Hardcover edition.

Frequently Bought Together

How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over + Split: A Memoir of  Divorce + Falling Apart in One Piece: One Optimist's Journey Through the Hell of Divorce
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A full-time mom and a part-time professor at the nearby University of Washington, Nestor had been married 12 years, raising two children with the man she loved. Then one afternoon, she discovered her husband had been using her bank card. He had a gambling problem, and she'd already warned him, if it started again, it would end their marriage. They agreed to have a good divorce, but Nestor had no idea how to reimagine her life as a single mother. As Nestor moves through what she's told are the three stages of divorce—shock/denial, adjustment and acceptance—she discovers she's a lot more resilient than she'd ever thought. She has good parenting instincts and some solid friends. With cheerfully self-deprecating humor, Nestor shares her divorce process, always giving generous credit to the family and friends who helped her, and in her telling she offers hope that if that's what readers are facing, they, too, can manage. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Theo has a big heart, a real feeling for the pain and craziness of human life."
—Frank McCourt, author of Angela's Ashes

“Theo Nestor has an uncommon ability to evoke common yet very intense emotions. How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed is smart, astringent, funny, precise, candid, and possesses not an ounce of self-pity.”
—David Shields, author of The Thing About Life Is That One Day You’ll Be Dead

“Heartbreakingly honest, wryly funny, and revelatory . . . [Nestor’s] clever and relatable prose makes her tale endearing and insightful, and she sidesteps the clichés of a woman wounded with bittersweet honesty.”
—LadiesHomeJournal.com

“A divorced mother’s funny, chatty, revealing take on Splitsville–with just enough anguish and sadness to be utterly believable...An unexpected treat here is a vivid portrait of the author's thrice-married, utterly nonmaternal but generous mother...Women going through the pain and turmoil of separation and divorce will appreciate Nestor’s candor and wit. Not another slick how-to, but a comforting reminder that life goes on after the spouse is gone.” —Kirkus


From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Broadway; Reprint edition (February 3, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307346773
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307346773
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #219,160 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

I devoured this book! Linda Grez  |  10 reviewers made a similar statement
Also, Nestor's consistent and quirky humor makes this book hard to put down. Kathryn K. Goldberg  |  6 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
29 of 31 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Humorous But I Have Two Complaints..... August 25, 2008
By R. Lynn
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
The first is that the author whines a lot about how poor she was during the divorce.....uh, having the means to turn down a job at Microsoft, having your kids in private school, and living in a fancy neighborhood is not poor. Poor is working your behind off and still not being able to make it. She works part-time, and sounds like she thinks that's too much. It is too bad her husband is a gambler, and I would have related more if she had shared something of how she specifically dealt with having lived with a liar for 12 years, but it didn't sound like he did all that much damage to their finances.

The second is that because the author jumps immediately into a rebound relationship with an ex-lover, much of the angst of being alone and lonely isn't expressed. And though the relationship is over by the end of the book, she doesn't share any of the ensuing loneliness (you have to deal with it sometime) and grief she must have felt once that post-divorce relationship no longer served to distract her from her actual divorce.

An entertaining read, but this memoir is not introspective enough for others to grow from it.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Expect the unexpected April 16, 2008
Format:Hardcover
I would never have expected to be as entertained reading a book about divorce as I was with this book. Nestor's quirky humour made her story infinitely appealing to an audience much broader than just people going through divorce. It is a wonderfully, honest commentary on life and marriage and parenting that will appeal to just about anyone, written in a style reminiscent of Anne Lamott. This book touches on so many realities in a fun, but provocative way. A must read!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Never divorced, never married, loved this book! April 15, 2008
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Theo Nestor's account of the end of her marriage had me riveted from beginning to end. I'm single and have never been married or divorced,but Nestor's tale transcended those demographics. Hers is really a story of transformation -- of falling apart and putting herself back together again. All of us are confronted at times with losing or never getting the life we've envisioned. Theo's story reminds me that along with loss comes gain -- that of honing away at our layers until we find the essence of who we really are. You'll love this story and her writing -- vivid, honest, funny and engaging.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Brave and amazing
My mother read the Kindle sample of this book and called me right away: "We really have no idea what real problems look like, do we? Read more
Published 19 days ago by The Continental
2.0 out of 5 stars Expected More
I rarely write reviews but since I'm having such a hard time getting through this book I thought I'd pause to write one. I can't get over how whiny the author is. Read more
Published 8 months ago by KinHI
5.0 out of 5 stars Heartfelt, funny and sad all in one package
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book about a woman's journey of self discovery and healing after going through the heartbreak of divorce. Read more
Published on April 25, 2011 by Sibylle Herbe
5.0 out of 5 stars fast & easy, great book
I got this book in the mail very promptly. Great book by the way!
Published on October 8, 2009 by Jodi
5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book and hated that it had to end.
Theo has that wonderful gift of making you feel THERE in the most electrifying, yet gentle and wise way. Read more
Published on August 18, 2009 by Candace Walsh
5.0 out of 5 stars Book inspires soul searching
I just finished reading Theo Pauline Nestor's How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over. Read more
Published on June 15, 2009 by Jackie Gately
5.0 out of 5 stars A life altering book
This was the most amazing book I have ever read. I felt as though the author was reading my mind and writing my thoughts. Read more
Published on June 8, 2009 by Teresa S. Weybrew
2.0 out of 5 stars boring...
Self indudgent, boring, and a slow read. I couldn't stand the author by the time it was over. There are so many better memiors out there! This one missed the mark.
Published on June 6, 2009 by free spirit
1.0 out of 5 stars Interesting title....not so interesting book
I checked out this book from my local public library. I found the
title intriguing (why I picked it up in the first place), the memoir fell short. Read more
Published on March 31, 2009 by M. Witte
1.0 out of 5 stars I would give this no stars but amazon makes me give one
I've been divorced. This is the novel this writer wants her children to one day read, this is not the novel that speaks to reality. This author is clueless about "real" life. Read more
Published on February 23, 2009 by K. Cade
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