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How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over Paperback – February 3, 2009


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How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over + Happens Every Day: An All-Too-True Story + Split: A Memoir of  Divorce
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Broadway Books; Reprint edition (February 3, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307346773
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307346773
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #702,457 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A full-time mom and a part-time professor at the nearby University of Washington, Nestor had been married 12 years, raising two children with the man she loved. Then one afternoon, she discovered her husband had been using her bank card. He had a gambling problem, and she'd already warned him, if it started again, it would end their marriage. They agreed to have a good divorce, but Nestor had no idea how to reimagine her life as a single mother. As Nestor moves through what she's told are the three stages of divorce—shock/denial, adjustment and acceptance—she discovers she's a lot more resilient than she'd ever thought. She has good parenting instincts and some solid friends. With cheerfully self-deprecating humor, Nestor shares her divorce process, always giving generous credit to the family and friends who helped her, and in her telling she offers hope that if that's what readers are facing, they, too, can manage. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Theo has a big heart, a real feeling for the pain and craziness of human life."
—Frank McCourt, author of Angela's Ashes

“Theo Nestor has an uncommon ability to evoke common yet very intense emotions. How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed is smart, astringent, funny, precise, candid, and possesses not an ounce of self-pity.”
—David Shields, author of The Thing About Life Is That One Day You’ll Be Dead

“Heartbreakingly honest, wryly funny, and revelatory . . . [Nestor’s] clever and relatable prose makes her tale endearing and insightful, and she sidesteps the clichés of a woman wounded with bittersweet honesty.”
—LadiesHomeJournal.com

“A divorced mother’s funny, chatty, revealing take on Splitsville–with just enough anguish and sadness to be utterly believable...An unexpected treat here is a vivid portrait of the author's thrice-married, utterly nonmaternal but generous mother...Women going through the pain and turmoil of separation and divorce will appreciate Nestor’s candor and wit. Not another slick how-to, but a comforting reminder that life goes on after the spouse is gone.” —Kirkus


From the Hardcover edition.

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

I devoured this book!
Linda Grez
Theo Nestor takes the pain of divorce and transforms it with wit and insight, taking the reader on a journey that is both real and entertaining at the same time.
Jenny C. Fan
You'll love this story and her writing -- vivid, honest, funny and engaging.
Eve M. Tai

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 38 people found the following review helpful By R. Lynn on August 25, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
The first is that the author whines a lot about how poor she was during the divorce.....uh, having the means to turn down a job at Microsoft, having your kids in private school, and living in a fancy neighborhood is not poor. Poor is working your behind off and still not being able to make it. She works part-time, and sounds like she thinks that's too much. It is too bad her husband is a gambler, and I would have related more if she had shared something of how she specifically dealt with having lived with a liar for 12 years, but it didn't sound like he did all that much damage to their finances.

The second is that because the author jumps immediately into a rebound relationship with an ex-lover, much of the angst of being alone and lonely isn't expressed. And though the relationship is over by the end of the book, she doesn't share any of the ensuing loneliness (you have to deal with it sometime) and grief she must have felt once that post-divorce relationship no longer served to distract her from her actual divorce.

An entertaining read, but this memoir is not introspective enough for others to grow from it.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Eve M. Tai on April 15, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Theo Nestor's account of the end of her marriage had me riveted from beginning to end. I'm single and have never been married or divorced,but Nestor's tale transcended those demographics. Hers is really a story of transformation -- of falling apart and putting herself back together again. All of us are confronted at times with losing or never getting the life we've envisioned. Theo's story reminds me that along with loss comes gain -- that of honing away at our layers until we find the essence of who we really are. You'll love this story and her writing -- vivid, honest, funny and engaging.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Abigail Carter on April 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I would never have expected to be as entertained reading a book about divorce as I was with this book. Nestor's quirky humour made her story infinitely appealing to an audience much broader than just people going through divorce. It is a wonderfully, honest commentary on life and marriage and parenting that will appeal to just about anyone, written in a style reminiscent of Anne Lamott. This book touches on so many realities in a fun, but provocative way. A must read!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By AvidReader on December 21, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I loved this book from beginning to end. Nestor is a fabulous writer-- her beautiful prose is filled with wit, moxie, and grace. From the first page, she pulled me into her tenacious journey of strength and survival. She writes with passion and inspiration and, even in the face of heartache, great hope.

Nestor examines divorce's sadness and loss with deep wisdom. Being a divorced, single woman myself, I identified with her all along the way. Her humor and insight has helped me reexamine my own experience and move toward greater healing.

I loved this book! I would--and do--recommend it to all of my friends.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By KinHI on August 29, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I rarely write reviews but since I'm having such a hard time getting through this book I thought I'd pause to write one. I can't get over how whiny the author is. There is more in here about her issues with her mother then all the grief and heat ace that you go through during a divorce. This is a memoir yes but not about divorce. It feels more like a pity party. Most people I don't think have the luxury of their mother paying for all their bills or their sister flying them on vacations. Most divorces are met with a lot more turbulence and devastation. I'm not saying she's a bad writer but if you're looking for guidance after a tough breakup this is not the book to go with.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Lauren E. Burns on April 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
As one who reads mostly for pleasure, Nestor's memoir is an amazingly rich, easy, enjoyable read. The kind of book I looked forward to having a moment with at the end of my busy day. Chock full of intriguing characters and twists.

As a therapist, I will be recommending this to clients: anyone whose life has been upset by divorce should have (and keep) this book. Men and women alike. It will provide perspective, ideas, resources, and best of all, humor. There are lots of books about divorce out there, but nothing quite as special as this!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Sibylle on April 25, 2011
Format: Paperback
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book about a woman's journey of self discovery and healing after going through the heartbreak of divorce. The part that perhaps spoke the most to me in this book is that when a stay at home mom gets divorced she not only loses her marriage, she also loses her job. If you have gone through a divorce and you need a light at the end of the dark tunnel, reading this will help. I found myself caught up in her story, at times laughing out loud because I could so relate to what she was saying and in the next instant feeling the heartbreak she was experiencing. But through it all, it gave me hope that perhaps I could make it through my own journey and come out better on the other side of healing and recovery.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Jeanne M. Verville on April 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
Theo Pauline Nestor nails the challenges faced by newly divorced, middle-aged mothers with honesty and laugh-out-loud self-effacing humor. This very likable narrator moves from the isolation and ennui of feeling like a broken, beleaguered societal outsider to a self-sufficient, mostly happy and contented woman who has reclaimed the "rawness of spirit" she had as a girl. She compassionately exposes what she sees as her failings and then disproves them as she courageously negotiates one pivotal event after another.
Nestor, used to being the helper, has to learn to ask for - and accept - help from friends, relatives and former adversaries in her basic desire to "hunt, gather and keep shelter warm" for her two girls. As she detaches from feeling like a "criminal" for breaking up her family, she focus on her girl-family's needs. After exploring her own experience as a child of divorce she finds that she is capable of creating an "altered" family where all can feel safe and thrive.
Nestor provides an inspiring road map for new divorcees, citing many good references that helped her and her children move through the common shock, confusion and adjustment to divorce to a place of acceptance that brings with it the ability to trust, laugh and love. Her book is smart, funny and insightful.
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