I think it is a must read if you want to brake the circle of having the same men in your life who lead to the same dead ends time after time. I lost 20 years in the dating game. This book showed me why... :-)
I am able to deal with men and myself differently all together and can already see that I benefit. I was able to spot a few "dangerous" men quite quickly into getting to know them. I didn't say much, they just got lost. I was also able to walk away from potential hurt. I am happy about that.
I would like to suggest though that you read the book how to spot a dangerous man first before you attempt the workshop workbook. It did help me to do some of the exercises. What I mean is I did understand where the author came from and why she asked some questions...
I work with adults i group therapy, and my primary specialty areas are domestic violence and sexual assault. I've purchased several copies of this workbook, and have ALWAYS had an enthusiastic response from my clients--even the title of the book brings broad smiles. I am a male therapist, and I wanted to assure potential buyers that this book is NOT biased or snide toward males in any way. In fact, it's a very fair and honest look at men in general, and distinguishes correctly between men who use violence or control in relationships and those who do not, and how to tell the difference. The fact that this book looks at past relationship histories and how we learn from them is invaluable; I like that Sandra uses history to education, but never blames or shames the reader with any subtle hints that "it was your fault 'cause you picked him"-type scolding.
Also: Sandra, I read your review of a similar book that seems to have "borrowed" your writings, and even arranged their chapters in identical order. I agree with your outrage at being stolen from, and regret that subsequent reviewers dismissed your observations without investigating, because your allegations are easily verifiable with the slightest examination.
Sandra has provided a real service to all of us whether male or female by illustrating the signs and characteristics of those who are really dangerous to us. I have been sharing this information with others as it is very useful for anyone to have!
You can either get the book or this workbook, which I heartily recommend for all dating women. Take notes, ladies, recognize the red flags BEFORE you start falling for the guy! If you've been in toxic relationships, this book is for you. If some guy tells you that he's not the problem, that you are the problem, take heed. If you are feeling bad about yourself and give up much of yourself to the fellow in your life, read this book and find out why you deserve better. This is NOT a male bashing book. There are plenty of nice guys out there. This is about the red flags that you must trust to keep you from becoming a victim in your love relationship.
Please first check out my review of 'How to spot a dangerous man'. This review follows on from the previous review, but the earlier review provides necessary background.
The entire book provides you with extensive additional space to write down your experiences, thereby acknowledging them more deeply. Somehow I have always found journaling your thoughts and feelings to be highly valuable to understanding what you really feel. Once you commence writing, you may be surprised what surfaces, and feel much relief that it is on paper, there before your eyes. The chapter on loopholes is so important, as this is what we use to justify us to stay with abusive men. I recognized so many loopholes that I had told myself in order to stay in a dysfunctional relationship, often with no commitment made to myself, or real sharing in life. I share deeply within my review as I have finally acknowledged all points necessary to `cut my loses' and move on. Without other women sharing their stories, it can be a sad and difficult situation to face and move through.
I bought the book How to Spot A Dangerous Man, read it and thought I had understood it well. Then, I bought this workbook and did the homework..this made me re-read the book, which has opened my eyes (and memories) even more. You really need to buy the book, read it and DO the exercises..it reinforces the messages, warnings, trusting YOUR instincts, and being MUCH more aware of people, men and women. There ARE good, decent, civil people out there. This book/workbook helps you weed out the bad ones (and helps deal with the memories of the horrible ones), and then you can be open to the good ones.
If you have ever been in a relationship with a psychopath, you will need all the tools you can to heal. I recommend reading Sandra L. Brown's Women Who Love Psychopath's first then reading How to Spot a Dangerous Man and work through the workbook. My heart goes out to you if you are in the position of needing to purchase this.
As a counselor, I have used this workbook with many women, most of whom have experienced domestic violence. I have used it to conduct workshops/support groups, as well as in individual therapy, and found it helpful in both settings. This workbook has been so helpful to me and the women I've worked with. It approaches unhealthy relationships in way that is non-threatening and sometimes humorous. It not only identifies what is considered an unhealthy relationship, but it also helps the reader look at things that they learned growing up in their family and through other experiences that may have led them to get involved in these relationships, so that they may learn why they are in that situation. This is especially helpful for women who have been in multiple abusive or unhealthy relationships who need to learn how to break out of the cycle. There is also a book that goes with this workbook that has more detailed info.
The best book on the subject of personality disorders and their effect on others I have ever read. I will be donating this book and it's companion workbook to the local women's shelter. A must read and share it with your children. These are the lessons my mother never could have taught me. Each one; teach one.