How to Succeed with Women (Paperback)

by Ron Louis (Author), David Copeland (Author) "Greg came to us with a problem..." (more)
Key Phrases: priming date, seduction date, highly successful seducer, Highly Effective Seducer, Chat Rooms, John Travolta (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
This serious, no-holds-barred answer to The Rules gives single and divorced men a step-by-step guide for romantic success. Covers everything from how to meet women to making romance happen.

It's the 90s and the rules have all changed. This straightforward guide tells men how to handle this brave new dating world, providing complete step-by-step advice on everything from flirting to courtship, establishing intimacy, and maintaining a relationship.

Intended for single and divorced men who want to enjoy both casual and intimate relationships with the opposite sex, it delivers specific, detailed advice how and where to meet women today, how to talk to them, how to ask a woman out, how to prepare for a date and keep date conversation flowing. Directly addressing intimacy issues it reveals how to be a success romantically, discussing the five keys and five blocks to intimacy and safe sex in the 90s. Men will discover how to know if she's the one, and how to create a relationship for the long term. Copeland and Louis also cover how to know when it's over and how to end a relationship.

Providing clear, no-nonsense solutions for many difficult dating/relationship problems, this is an invaluable source of information and guidance for any man unsure of the ground rules of the new "dating game."

About the Author
David Copeland, gender studies expert, has traveled throughout the nation presenting personal development seminars since 1988. Ron Louis, author of Sexpectations, is press agent for Bioenergetics.

Product Details

• Paperback: 464 pages
• Publisher: Prentice Hall Press (October 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0735200300
• ISBN-13: 978-0735200302
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (285 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #34,863 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

297 of 308 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this AND Iron John, August 27, 2000

By A Customer

This is a book for men with a sense of humor. Most importantly, it is a book for men who want to get physical with attractive, interesting women. Toward that end, the book is chocked full of outstanding suggestions. But the most two important pieces of manly advice in the book are: 1. draw validation from your own life, not from relationships with women, and 2. seek confident women who draw validation from their own lives--who are not needy. I think this sort of confidence begins with humor and a willingness to see dating for what it is: a game. Many times in order to meet the right woman, the book maintains, a man needs to play the "numbers" game. Meeting, dating, and sharing physical intimacy with a variety of women is a healthy part of a single man's life.

I realize not everyone feels this way. I read the 90 plus reviews and realized that it is a "love it or hate it" book. Understandably so. Most of the book's detractors fall into recognizable categories: men who don't want to be told the obvious (make your car clean & romantic, dress nice); men who have sensitive dispositions; and women who find the book downright offensive.

Many of the men and women who wrote scathing reviews indicated that any man who tries the suggestions in the book is simply an immoral opportunist. I want especially to address this issue. It is never wrong to create a romantic atmospshere on a date. Anyone who thinks otherwise would most likely not make a pleasant date. If your desire is to compliment, to touch a woman both physically and emotionally, then you should do just that, and do what is necessary toward that end.

The books maintains three important things: 1. it makes perfect sense to have a number of romantic possibilities while one is single; 2. it makes sense to choose dates who are creative, warm, and physical; and 3. it makes sense to choose relationships that work. Naturally, when relationships become draining and destructive, they should not continue. One of the finest chapters in the book is "When Babes Attack: Handling Problems Women Cause." The message: it is just as important to know who NOT to date as who TO date. The authors reiterate that it is not a man's responsibility to shoulder a woman's neuroses, bad attitudes, or problems. Their assessment about low, middle, and high maintenance women is right on the mark. And their suggestions on how to keep away from trouble and steer toward pleasant dating experiences makes a great deal of sense to me.

I think the book is self-recommending. I give it five stars without any reservations whatsoever, as have a few dozen other reviewers. Some see the book as something that teaches men how to take advantage of women and form a string of meaningless short-term relationships. This is a joke. I believe strongly that a man who is single should thoroughly enjoy dating until he finds a mate who is on the same page as he is. Sexuality is an important part of this process. This is a book that cherishes sexuality and nurtures an important part of a man's life: being single. If one has trouble enjoying the single life, there stands a possibility that one's ensuing relationships will suffer as a result. This book is about creating romance and being available to women. There are countless numbers of single women who appreciate men who say hello to them, and there are some who don't. The book offers a number of practical suggestions for greeting and dating the winners and steering clear of the losers. It's blunt, simple, and often quite funny.

I strongly recommend another book to go along with this one: Iron John by Robert Bly. I recommend Iron John because it is a book about men and for men. It uses lots of folklore and poetry and makes strong statements about confidence and championing one's own life. It is one of the key books that began the men's movement in American society. And it is further confirmation of the fact that being a man is truly a great thing.

63 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Good - but not for me (a note to disappointed readers), January 19, 2001

By A Customer

I think the book can be very good for many people (as other reviews indicate). However, I think the audience for the book isn't 'anyone with male genitals'.

Imagine the CEO of a near-bankruptcy company taking a course on how to increase profits from 50 cents per share to 52. That sums up the experience for me. If your goal is to get a better margin - i.e. get more and better-looking women with minimal effort, I can certainly imagine this book may be of value to you. Buy this book if you want to better your batting average (I may sound critical because I'm jealous, that's all).

The book offers lots of tips (some trivial, some insightful) on how to go about dating a woman so that the romance happens more often and faster. It offers some useful tips on communicating with women in general. It also provides some nice ideas for giving women romantic gifts. And last on the good parts - it's filled with good advice on how to handle problems that arise in your interactions and relationships with women.

So how is it that I didn't find the book useful? Well, the underlying assumption in this book is that your problem is skill, and that all you need is some coaching and practice (like my basketball coach used to say). It advocates the truism that the more women you date, the more women you'll get (like a 3rd grade math book would say). It encourages you to always look your best and be at your best (like everybody says). It suggests that you build up your confidence to get more women (like the Southpark movie said). It suggests that you don't be afraid of rejection and that you get your validation from your life rather than from women (like a really bad therapist would say) . All in all it encourages you to take it easy (like the most annoying of people say). Well, this is all absolutely terrific advice that I have absolutely nothing to do with.

Despite the criticism, I am glad that I bought the book for two reasons: The first - it made me focus on my real problems: my self-esteem and a mild social anxiety disorder. You see, my strongest disagreement with this book is in describing lack of confidence as a stumbling block on your way to a plentiful sex-life. If you lack in confidence, then THIS is your problem, and my advice to you is to try and fix IT. As someone who's raised his self-esteem and self-confidence significantly, I can tell you that even if there were no women on this planet, it would still be worth it. I've only started working on my social anxiety but I'm CONFIDENT that I can fix it too.

The second reason - I truly believe and hope that soon I'll consider my batting average a real problem in my life, and then I'll find use for this book. Until then it rests on my shelf.

I'm writing this review based on an educated guess that I cannot really base that most people considering buying this book have some problem or another that probably has nothing to do with women. Maybe it's self-esteem, maybe it's social-phobia or maybe it's something else entirely. Different people - different problems. My point is that you better direct your efforts at finding out what your problem is before buying this book, and try to fix it. If your problem isn't dating skills, buying this book will most likely increase your frustration and disappoint you. When you're ready for it, if you still feel like you need it, go ahead and buy it.

39 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Blame the gun for existing or the shooter for using it?, March 6, 2000

By A Customer

Just because the book tells you how to seduce women just for sex doesn't mean you will. That is up to the individuals morals is it not? This book is just the tool, how you use the tool is up to you.

I read every review posted and I must say to the women that posted: You'll never know that a man is using the tactics presented in this book, you will not want to know because basically if you like the guy, you will accept him, if you do not like him, you won't. If he makes you feel special and/or seems romantic that is a BIG plus, is it not? Guys call it tactics, women call it romance; it's a play on words to the same end. I personally feel this book ruins a woman's perception on romance and I tell my female friends not to read it.

Me for instance. I have been looking for `true love' for years now... and failing... After reading this book (quickly) I dated heavily (hint: learn to swing dance!) twice a week and had very positive results. Let me tell you this book demands you respect yourself first then look for women. It tells you to be the center of your universe and invite those women that wish entrance in. Make yourself a target and present yourself in the most appealing way possible to potential mates.

Using this book I now have a wonderful girl friend of 4 months who I totally love and respect and we have not had sex yet because she is not ready for it. However I did use this book TO THE LETTER and swept her off her feet and made her fall in love with who I am now...

And that's what it's all about.