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How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce: Loving Your Separated Man without Losing Your Mind Paperback – September 26, 2000


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: M. Evans & Company (September 26, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0871319225
  • ISBN-13: 978-0871319227
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.5 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #380,242 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Robyn Todd and Lesley Dormen

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Customer Reviews

This is a very good book if you are in a not so great situation.
Ann
Anybody who has gotten involved with someone who is separated or in the process of divorcing needs to read this book.
reads a lot
It really makes the woman feel in control and also makes her think about why is she really dating an unavailable man.
Margaret L. Stewart

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 44 people found the following review helpful By an interested reader on January 7, 2005
Format: Paperback
The authors did a fairly good job with tackling this sticky subject. Everyone has their own particular set of circumstances, but I think for the most part, the majority of women will be the "transitional woman" for a man going through his divorce, which is why I can understand the authors' choice to be quite negative about their thoughts on the man. For me personally, I stuck with my gut and knew that I had a special situation, and I was right. We made it through b/c we both had to acknowledge our temporary limitations and work within those boundaries (this tactic is outlined by the authors). As the book suggests to all women, I kept my own apartment, kept friendships intact, started new hobbies to keep myself occupied, and definitely kept a mental "side door" ajar in case I needed out. So, in general, I think this book is smart b/c it reminds women that they have choices, they must take responsibility for their own happiness, and it also outlines what to expect if a woman chooses to be in a situation like this. If you're willing to take on this kind of "high-risk" relationship with a man going through a divorce, good luck, but remember to always be honest with yourself, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is, and even the smartest, savviest woman can be brought to her knees in this type of situation, so brace yourself, and having a copy of this book handy is probably not a bad idea, since it's really the only one of its kind.
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39 of 42 people found the following review helpful By "kneecoale" on February 29, 2000
Format: Hardcover
I got his book about a month ago, and I've read it about 5 times already. I've underlined it, highlighted it, and dog-eared the important pages. If you're involved with a man in the process of a divorce, this book is essential. It pointed out to me what I was doing wrong in the relationship. It also reminded me that I have 3 basic options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. This may sound overly simple, but in the midst of the mess of a relationship of this type, you forget the most basic things. I laughed out loud, nodded my head, and actually said "Yes...that's true!" out loud as I read. This book sits next to my bed, and I turn to it almost daily to keep myself centered and on the right track. It gives several real life examples with analysis. The author doesn't mince words either. She realistically lays it all on the line. It's a cold, hard dose of reality, yet it does give you options for trying to make the relationship work. I've read a ton of "self-help" books, and this one is truly worth every penny. My first word of advice: Don't get involved with a divorcing man. My second word of advice: If you do, get this book!
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 5, 2000
Format: Hardcover
My boyfriend and I had just begun the "putting it on hold" process when I bought this book, and although I knew it was the right thing to do, I wasn't sure why I couldn't "fix things" myself without a break. Now I know that I am not alone, and that even being a Cindy Crawford/Mother Theresa combo won't help me get through these difficult times, or make the process go any faster. Like the majority of women who read this book, I too, believed that love could conquer all, and was surprised to find the relationship with my recently-separated boyfriend floundering despite the love that existed. This book truly dropped out of the sky at the right moment for me, reaffirming our decision to take a break, and suggesting many alternatives to help us move forward in the future. I have never been a big self-help reader, but I would encourage anyone even remotely considering purchasing this book to do so. It was worth every penny and triple that! I am on my third read-through and am absorbing more, and in the process, becoming a stronger person AND a stronger partner each time! Thanks so much to the authors for their much-needed work!
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32 of 37 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on October 18, 2000
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Separation is not quite married, not quite single, not quite divorced. It is chaos, often when you least expect it. A relationship during this time is certainly not an affair, but it is not just standard dating either (as you probably now know ). I have found no other book that recognizes this and therefore is so helpful.
You're probably wondering how helpful and why was it so helpful? I would've paid many times more the price of this book for just half of the chapter which I read and reread, photocopied, marked up, and where I found myself. As cliche as it may sound, this book was a bright light in a very dark time. It does not matter what the page numbers were, I suspect that if you're drawn to this title you may very well find such a similar passage about a relationship. I'm not surprised to hear that many people purchase a second copy for the other person in the relationship.
As you may have suspected I was the man trying to survive my girlfriend's divorce. This book works in either case. (Actually, she was also trying to survive mine.) It has been slightly more than a year since I started reading this book and we're still together because of it.
Why only four stars? At the end of each chapter the book reminds you that you have three options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. In my opinion the book did not provide enough information or examples for putting the relationship on hold. My other reason is that this is a perfect book for people to add their stories on the Web, but there's no complementary website.
So to the authors: thank-you! This book was a very important part of last 12 months of my life. I hope the next edition has twice as many case studies.
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