Customer Reviews

How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce: Loving Your Separated Man without Losing Your Mind

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

The authors did a fairly good job with tackling this sticky subject. Everyone has their own particular set of circumstances, but I think for the most part, the majority of women will be the "transitional woman" for a man going through his divorce, which is why I can understand the authors' choice to be quite negative about their thoughts on the man. For me personally, I stuck with my gut and knew that I had a special situation, and I was right. We made it through b/c we both had to acknowledge our temporary limitations and work within those boundaries (this tactic is outlined by the authors). As the book suggests to all women, I kept my own apartment, kept friendships intact, started new hobbies to keep myself occupied, and definitely kept a mental "side door" ajar in case I needed out. So, in general, I think this book is smart b/c it reminds women that they have choices, they must take responsibility for their own happiness, and it also outlines what to expect if a woman chooses to be in a situation like this. If you're willing to take on this kind of "high-risk" relationship with a man going through a divorce, good luck, but remember to always be honest with yourself, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is, and even the smartest, savviest woman can be brought to her knees in this type of situation, so brace yourself, and having a copy of this book handy is probably not a bad idea, since it's really the only one of its kind.

I got his book about a month ago, and I've read it about 5 times already. I've underlined it, highlighted it, and dog-eared the important pages. If you're involved with a man in the process of a divorce, this book is essential. It pointed out to me what I was doing wrong in the relationship. It also reminded me that I have 3 basic options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. This may sound overly simple, but in the midst of the mess of a relationship of this type, you forget the most basic things. I laughed out loud, nodded my head, and actually said "Yes...that's true!" out loud as I read. This book sits next to my bed, and I turn to it almost daily to keep myself centered and on the right track. It gives several real life examples with analysis. The author doesn't mince words either. She realistically lays it all on the line. It's a cold, hard dose of reality, yet it does give you options for trying to make the relationship work. I've read a ton of "self-help" books, and this one is truly worth every penny. My first word of advice: Don't get involved with a divorcing man. My second word of advice: If you do, get this book!

Separation is not quite married, not quite single, not quite divorced. It is chaos, often when you least expect it. A relationship during this time is certainly not an affair, but it is not just standard dating either (as you probably now know ). I have found no other book that recognizes this and therefore is so helpful.

You're probably wondering how helpful and why was it so helpful? I would've paid many times more the price of this book for just half of the chapter which I read and reread, photocopied, marked up, and where I found myself. As cliche as it may sound, this book was a bright light in a very dark time. It does not matter what the page numbers were, I suspect that if you're drawn to this title you may very well find such a similar passage about a relationship. I'm not surprised to hear that many people purchase a second copy for the other person in the relationship.

As you may have suspected I was the man trying to survive my girlfriend's divorce. This book works in either case. (Actually, she was also trying to survive mine.) It has been slightly more than a year since I started reading this book and we're still together because of it.

Why only four stars? At the end of each chapter the book reminds you that you have three options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. In my opinion the book did not provide enough information or examples for putting the relationship on hold. My other reason is that this is a perfect book for people to add their stories on the Web, but there's no complementary website.

So to the authors: thank-you! This book was a very important part of last 12 months of my life. I hope the next edition has twice as many case studies.

I honestly was surprised to see all the positive reviews of this book. I guess that most women who read it already know they are in a bad situation, and need the courage or validation to break off a bad relationship. Maybe they need to see themselves in the sad descriptions. But I didn't fall into that group.

I bought this book because I felt overwhelmed with the circumstances -- soon-to-be-ex-wife and kids and alimony, oh my! -- in my relationship. But my boyfriend's behavior didn't match any of the selfish scenarios the author describes -- he was great.

Divorce, and dating someone in the process of it, raise really complex issues. I felt the author tried to simplify everything too much with a one-size-fits-all approach. I would have loved some tips for getting through this hard time, even if your boyfriend is doing everything that he can -- how to personally cope -- but the advice is mostly restricted to what you should do when _his_ behavior is less than exemplary.

But for those women who are dating jerks, this book could be the wake-up call that they need.

This book contains some useful information for someone in the unique (and often painful) position of dating a divorcing man. It is the only book of its kind. The authors focus primarily on how to take care of your relationship, and yourself, while your partner is getting divorced. They address some of the issues women face when dating these men, inlcuding divorce delays, meeting his children, and how to tell if your partner is a keeper.

The book, written by a woman whose relationship with a divorcing man failed, appears to be written based solely on her own experience. It has a bitter taste to it and tends to portray the men as selfish and the women as fools. For example, the authors go into detail about how the divorcing man will devote to you and tell you how wonderful you are only because he's desperate from having just come out of a bad marriage. How much do you want to bet that this happened to the author? It didn't seem to occur to her that it's possible for a divorcing man to genuinely care for a woman. I know because mine did. My good friend's did. At times the book is even rude, telling you to "stop whining" and "get over it!" Yuck.

This book needed more insight and less bitterness. I have a difficult time recommending it, but I recognize that there must be some women who can relate to the book. If you are dating a divorcing man and are about to lose it, read the book with the warning that it's a little harsh, and with the understanding that it's only written by someone who's been through it rather than an expert on relationships/divorce. Good luck!

My boyfriend actually bought this book for me, and I thought it would be really interesting to read. This book assumes a few things: 1) you are a female who has never been married, AND 2) you do not have children of your own, AND 3) your (soon-to-be-divorced) boyfriend lives in the same town as his soon-to-be-ex. Since I do not fit into that neat category, I found many of the ideas and scenarios interesting, but quite irrelevant. Beware, it also paints men with a fairly broad "selfish jerk" brush. Instead of reassuring me that this was a situation that was well withing my abilities to deal with, it resurrected old insecurities.

My boyfriend and I had just begun the "putting it on hold" process when I bought this book, and although I knew it was the right thing to do, I wasn't sure why I couldn't "fix things" myself without a break. Now I know that I am not alone, and that even being a Cindy Crawford/Mother Theresa combo won't help me get through these difficult times, or make the process go any faster. Like the majority of women who read this book, I too, believed that love could conquer all, and was surprised to find the relationship with my recently-separated boyfriend floundering despite the love that existed. This book truly dropped out of the sky at the right moment for me, reaffirming our decision to take a break, and suggesting many alternatives to help us move forward in the future. I have never been a big self-help reader, but I would encourage anyone even remotely considering purchasing this book to do so. It was worth every penny and triple that! I am on my third read-through and am absorbing more, and in the process, becoming a stronger person AND a stronger partner each time! Thanks so much to the authors for their much-needed work!

I read and re-read this book when I was unfortunately involved with a guy who was supposedly weeks away from finalizing his divorce. They had been separated for several years and she wasn't contesting the divorce, but he dragged the situation out for an entire year and put me through hell and then ended up getting back together with his wife. And until I read this book, I actually thought I was the only person who had endured something like that. While I was reading it the first time, I remember thinking, what did these people do? Look through my windows? It was such a relief to find out that I wasn't crazy and that every man who puts someone through this hell goes about it exactly the same way. I only wish I had read it a year sooner and saved myself a year of agony. Anybody who has gotten involved with someone who is separated or in the process of divorcing needs to read this book. Honestly, you'll think the authors have been looking in your windows, because you will see yourself on every page.

I have never written an online book review before, but I was so impressed with this book that I thought I should. As I began reading this book, my jaw dropped at almost every page turn. It was as if the book was written especially for me an my "unique" situation! To know that my situation is NOT unique and that many other women go through the same type of ordeal when dating an almost-divorced man was an absolute relief. The authors did an especially excellent job of bringing me and my emotions back down to earth, and the book also constantly reminded me that although I am in a tough siuation, it's not impossible, I have choices, and I can live my life with an almost-divorced man without losing myself (or my sanity)! I would HIGHLY recommend this book to any woman who is dating a man going through the process of divorce. Worth every penny!!!

I've been involved with a divorcing boyfriend for a year and bought this book soon after we got together. As the stages of his divorce have unfolded and our relationship has evolved, I've turned to this book again and again -- and found something meaningful and helpful every single time.

What sets this book apart from other relationship books isn't JUST that it addresses the specific challenges of involvement with a divorcing man -- it's also that first and foremost, it focuses on honesty.

If like me, you've been frustrated by books that suggest the route to a successful relationship lies primarily in understanding and soothing your man's ego, read this book instead.

About the only flaw (and it's minor) is that the book assumes the reader's ultimate goal is marriage. Obviously, for many people marriage IS the goal, but more fundamentally, the goal of any committed relationship is that it genuinely nutures and satisfies both partners. The book doesn't overlook those fundamentals, but the constancy of the marriage as goal message DOES overshadow them at times.