How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships [Paperback]

Leil Lowndes (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 19, 2003

"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills." -- Larry King

"The lost art of verbal communication may be revitalized by Leil Lowndes." -- Harvey McKay, author of “How to Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive”

What is that magic quality makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their "Midas touch?"

What it boils down to is a more skillful way of dealing with people.

The author has spent her career teaching people how to communicate for success. In her book How to Talk to Anyone (Contemporary Books, October 2003) Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective sure-fire success techniques-- she takes the reader from first meeting all the way up to sophisticated techniques used by the big winners in life. In this information-packed book you’ll find:

• 9 ways to make a dynamite first impression
• 14 ways to master small talk, "big talk," and body language
• 14 ways to walk and talk like a VIP or celebrity
• 6 ways to sound like an insider in any crowd
• 7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone
• 9 ways to feed someone's ego (and know when NOT to!)
• 11 ways to make your phone a powerful communications tool
• 15 ways to work a party like a politician works a room
• 7 ways to talk with tigers and not get eaten alive

In her trademark entertaining and straight-shooting style, Leil gives the techniques catchy names so you'll remember them when you really need them, including: "Rubberneck the Room," "Be a Copyclass," "Come Hither Hands," “Bare Their Hot Button,” “The Great Scorecard in the Sky," and "Play the Tombstone Game,” for big success in your social life, romance, and business.

How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner's Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work!

By the way, don't confuse How to Talk to Anyone with one of Leil's previous books, How to Talk to Anybody About Anything. This one is completely different!

Editorial Reviews

Review

Leil Lowndes' How to Talk to Anyone offers 101 time-tested hints, tips, and techniques for confidently communicating with others. A bestselling author and renowned communications consultant, Lowndes focuses on ice-breaking skills and communication techniques that are proven successful when making a positive first impression, establishing instant rapport and credibility, and more. Packeed with basic, no-nonsense advice and solid research evidence about which techniques work best in which areas, How to Talk to Anyone show readers how to:

From the Back Cover

"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills."
--Larry King

"The ultimate guide to the thinking person . . . an invaluable tool for conversations."
--Sally Jesse Raphael

Become a master communicator and succeed in life, love, and business

Have you ever admired those successful people who seem to have it all? You see them chatting confidently at parties and being listened to in business meetings. They're the ones with the best jobs, nicest parties, and most interesting friends.

But wait a minute. They're not necessarily smarter than you or even better looking. What it comes down to is their more skillful way of communicating with other people. Now How to Talk to Anyone reveals the secrets of successful communication. With Leil Lowndes's ninety-two easy and effective techniques, you will discover how to become a master communicator in life, love, and business.

Combining the latest research with Leil's trademark wit and warm-hearted observations of human foibles, How to Talk to Anyone shows you how to:

• Make an unforgettable entrance and meet the people you want to meet
• Sound like an insider in any crowd, no matter how little you have in common
• Use body language to captivate audiences of all sizes
• Work a party the way a politician works a room
• Always come across confident, credible, and charismatic wherever you are

How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner's Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work!

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1st edition (September 19, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 007141858X
• ISBN-13: 978-0071418584
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (132 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,853 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #17 in Books > Business & Investing > Skills > Communications
  • #35 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
  • #82 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Spirituality > Personal Transformation

More About the Author

Everybody knows that authors write their own bios and comments! And most paint a rosy picture of their books. It's only natural. (Besides, their publishers would strangle them if they didn't.)

So my conscience lets me sleep at night I'm going to live dangerously and do something a little different. But don't tell my publisher! Because I want you to enjoy and get a lot out of any of my books that you choose, I'll give you my HONEST opinion of which ones are good, which are only OK, and which is lousy.

BTW, Meeting Planners, I don't want the photo to scare you away if you're looking for a speaker. I chose it because I always write in jeans, not the speech giving suit that's on my website. You'll find my speaker's bio there, www.lowndes.com

Back to books. IMHO, these first two books are fabulous and practically all readers will get a lot out of them.

HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE (92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships)
This book helps you become a confident and charismatic communicator in both social and business relationships. The techniques unique. You won't find them anywhere else, and they are easy to learn. Readers have sent me email from all over the world telling me how it has changed their lives. (BTW, "TALKING THE WINNER'S WAY," is the same book because it was the original title. So please don't make a mistake and buy both.

HOW TO INSTANTLY CONNECT WITH ANYONE (96 All-New Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships)
This book similar to HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE but with 96 more completely different techniques for creating and maintaining relationships. Please read the rave Amazon reviews to see how both books have helped others. Just like "How to Talk to Anyone," there is a shaded box at the end of each chapter summarizing the technique. (I like to call them "Little Tricks.")

UPDATING (How to Date Out of Your League)
Thus is a dumb superficial book which I wrote when I was going through a tough period in my life. Don't buy it. You'd be wasting your money.

HOW TO BE A PEOPLE MAGNET (Finding Friends and Keeping Them for Life)
This book is OK but readers over 25 may find this book a bit too basic. However it is helpful for younger readers because it covers some of the fundamental skills for making friends.

HOW TO MAKE ANYONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU (85 Scientifically Proven Ways)
If you're looking for love, this one is great. The title says it all! You won't find any touchie-feelie stuff here. Each of the unusual 85 techniques is based on solid research with the studies referenced in the appendix. Some are subtle. Some are outrageous. But the bottom line is, they all work - if you follow them correctly.

GOOD-BYE TO SHY (85 ShyBusters that Work!)
This fine book comes straight from heart. I wrote this one because I understand so well the nightmare that Shy people go through. I was painfully timid as a teen. In fact my "Social Anxiety Disorder" is what made me dedicate my life to helping others become better communicators. In this book, I give you 85 "ShyBusters," many of which cured my own shyness, and many based on the latest research. Hundreds of readers have written telling me that the book "cured" their shyness. And countless others who aren't shy have told me how the book boosted their confidence to greater levels.

HOW TO TALK TO ANYBODY ABOUT ANYTHING (Breaking the Ice with Everyone from Accountants to Zen Buddhists)
I feel bad because the title is completely misleading. It sounds like it's communicating "techniques" similar to those in "How to Talk to Anyone" and "Instantly Connect." No, the book is just opening questions to ask people in a 100 different jobs and hobbies to make you sound like an insider and get good conversations going. It's useful for, say, salespeople or dentists who want to establish rapport with a wide variety of clients. Because of the confusion, I've taken the book off my website. If you're looking for techniques to become a better communicator, read the first two books in this list instead.

UNDERCOVER SEX SIGNALS (A Pick-up Guide for Guys)
OK, dude, this one's for you. Do you know that 97.6% of men in the world don't pick up on a woman's signals? They can't tell if a woman likes them or not? Yet, to us females, it's so obvious! Since pictures are worth a thousand words, I had 4 of my girlfriends, 3 of them top models, demonstrate the expressions and moves for you. When you learn to recognize them, you'll never strike out again. Why? Because, even before you make the first move, you'll know whether she likes you or not. Women, since men are so clueless, you can learn a lot from this book too. Just exaggerate each signal in the photos 10 times and guys MAY pick up on it!)

Most of my books are available in audio and for Kindle. If you're an audio-holic as I am, you'll find a complete list at my audio-publisher's website: http://www.listenandlive.com//advanced_search_result.php?osCsid=290102be0555c1bf04873a9b09e86388&keywords=Leil+Lowndes

Three short e-books just came out which are excerpts from "How to Talk to Anyone" and "How to Instantly Connect With Anyone."
If you have those two books, don't get:
BE CONFIDENT AND CHARISMATIC,
LOOK LIKE A SUCCESS, or
WIN ANYONE OVER
They are pretty much the same material.

Forgive me if I sound schmaltzy now. But I truly care about my readers and want you to buy only the books which are right for you. I'm grateful that you read them and am so happy when you write to tell me how they've helped your life. You can ask me questions and read my blog on my website, www.lowndes.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

153 of 160 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great book for shy professionals, August 3, 2010

By 

B Sutton (Brooklyn, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)

Other reviewers called this book a how-to on being insincere and manipulative. I think they completely missed the point. This book is pure and simple a guide for professionals who are shy or need improvement in their social skills.

When you're in the business/professional world, social skills sign your checks, so this is an essential read for career-oriented people who are a little shy or are rusty at communicating. Not knowing how to make diplomatic small talk in this world is like showing up to work everyday wearing a HITLER WAS FRAMED t-shirt. The people who have natural social skills don't appreciate the fact that good social skills are taught. They're taught by parents, they're taught by friends, and some people just have to teach themselves. This book is pretty damn good for those people.

77 of 82 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars confidence 101, August 31, 2010

By 

Browning - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)

I use to be so incredibly shy that I didn't even want to leave my house. At one point my father died and I realized my own mortality and decided to go out and become a better person and to get over my shyness. I bought a few books on confidence building and books on how to hold conversations with people. I had very bad friends who put me down and who were completely selfish. I just had bad company.

This book helped me so much in understanding how to hold a conversation with people. Leil Lowndes is a great writer and she really udnerstands what it takes to become more confident in your conversation and in yourself as a person.

Could you use this to be phony and superficial? Yup, but that's up to your personality and what you wish to take from this book. I decided to use this to be able to understand how to hold conversations with people and know how to create relationships. I used this one technique called the flooding smile and that as well as a few other techniques from this book and I'm now dating this beautiful girl and have a few new friends who are positive and make me feel good about myself. I bought this and the other books by Leil Lowndes. I'd definitely consider this book as one of my Meccas as well as a few other books.

346 of 402 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Useful, but limited if you aren't networking or looking for a promotion, June 10, 2008

By 

Coyote - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)

I borrowed this book from a friend. I was both impressed and turned off by it on many different levels. I have no interest in navigating the shark filled waters of corporate America or the yacht club and this book seems to be geared for those seeking entrée into that world. Of the 92 tips, the majority focused on working parties like a politician, making people think you like them when you secretly find them to be bores and pandering to native human egocentricity. Basically, it's a how-to guide for people who want to learn how to be charming and fake, without seeming to be fake. All very useful for ambitious corporate folks, entrepreneurs seeking financial backing, and even musicians looking to get a record deal, no doubt, but not very useful for average people looking to improve their social skills among friends.

For instance, the publisher's blurb on this site brags that the book shows you "7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone". What they don't specify is that the author only shows you tricks to SIMULATE rapport with that person. This book is mostly about creating a complex, flexible illusion.

Although the author had many useful tips (I made myself a list of the 19 excellent tips I want to remember and incorporate into my own life) and her writing was very entertaining, I found myself thinking - "I'm glad she's not my friend. She may be a cool cat and a charmer, but she's also plastic."

So I'm giving the book a mixed review. Be aware of why you are buying it. If you want tips on how to network (a necessity for many people to succeed in their field), this book is probably nothing short of brilliant. She's keenly observant and gifted with the ability to analyze behavior and articulate it in an easy to understand manner. This book may very well be a life saver if you are trying to survive in a world that essentially runs by the rules of politicians and bureaucrats, where the ability to play the game is what counts. When you are surrounded by fakes, sometimes your best option is to learn how to put on your game face. The author does deliver the goods on this, in fine style.

If you want to improve your relationships with family, friends and romantic partners, where the creation of a facade is of no real value, this book does have something to offer you, but it will be limited. You'll find yourself trudging through entire chapters on how to sell people widgets by handing them pictures of your dog, or how to get a dead bore to tell his favorite "I'm so cool" story to your friends at a party so you can sneak off for better company without him realizing you've ditched him.