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316 of 331 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great book for shy professionals
Other reviewers called this book a how-to on being insincere and manipulative. I think they completely missed the point. This book is pure and simple a guide for professionals who are shy or need improvement in their social skills.

When you're in the business/professional world, social skills sign your checks, so this is an essential read for career-oriented...
Published on August 3, 2010 by B Sutton

versus
523 of 595 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Useful, but limited if you aren't networking or looking for a promotion
I borrowed this book from a friend. I was both impressed and turned off by it on many different levels. I have no interest in navigating the shark filled waters of corporate America or the yacht club and this book seems to be geared for those seeking entrée into that world. Of the 92 tips, the majority focused on working parties like a politician, making people...
Published on June 10, 2008 by Coyote


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316 of 331 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great book for shy professionals, August 3, 2010
By 
B Sutton (Brooklyn, NY) - See all my reviews
This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
Other reviewers called this book a how-to on being insincere and manipulative. I think they completely missed the point. This book is pure and simple a guide for professionals who are shy or need improvement in their social skills.

When you're in the business/professional world, social skills sign your checks, so this is an essential read for career-oriented people who are a little shy or are rusty at communicating. Not knowing how to make diplomatic small talk in this world is like showing up to work everyday wearing a HITLER WAS FRAMED t-shirt. The people who have natural social skills don't appreciate the fact that good social skills are taught. They're taught by parents, they're taught by friends, and some people just have to teach themselves. This book is pretty damn good for those people.
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196 of 206 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars confidence 101, August 31, 2010
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This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
I use to be so incredibly shy that I didn't even want to leave my house. At one point my father died and I realized my own mortality and decided to go out and become a better person and to get over my shyness. I bought a few books on confidence building and books on how to hold conversations with people. I had very bad friends who put me down and who were completely selfish. I just had bad company.

This book helped me so much in understanding how to hold a conversation with people. Leil Lowndes is a great writer and she really udnerstands what it takes to become more confident in your conversation and in yourself as a person.

Could you use this to be phony and superficial? Yup, but that's up to your personality and what you wish to take from this book. I decided to use this to be able to understand how to hold conversations with people and know how to create relationships. I used this one technique called the flooding smile and that as well as a few other techniques from this book and I'm now dating this beautiful girl and have a few new friends who are positive and make me feel good about myself. I bought this and the other books by Leil Lowndes. I'd definitely consider this book as one of my Meccas as well as a few other books.
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523 of 595 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Useful, but limited if you aren't networking or looking for a promotion, June 10, 2008
This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
I borrowed this book from a friend. I was both impressed and turned off by it on many different levels. I have no interest in navigating the shark filled waters of corporate America or the yacht club and this book seems to be geared for those seeking entrée into that world. Of the 92 tips, the majority focused on working parties like a politician, making people think you like them when you secretly find them to be bores and pandering to native human egocentricity. Basically, it's a how-to guide for people who want to learn how to be charming and fake, without seeming to be fake. All very useful for ambitious corporate folks, entrepreneurs seeking financial backing, and even musicians looking to get a record deal, no doubt, but not very useful for average people looking to improve their social skills among friends.

For instance, the publisher's blurb on this site brags that the book shows you "7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone". What they don't specify is that the author only shows you tricks to SIMULATE rapport with that person. This book is mostly about creating a complex, flexible illusion.

Although the author had many useful tips (I made myself a list of the 19 excellent tips I want to remember and incorporate into my own life) and her writing was very entertaining, I found myself thinking - "I'm glad she's not my friend. She may be a cool cat and a charmer, but she's also plastic."

So I'm giving the book a mixed review. Be aware of why you are buying it. If you want tips on how to network (a necessity for many people to succeed in their field), this book is probably nothing short of brilliant. She's keenly observant and gifted with the ability to analyze behavior and articulate it in an easy to understand manner. This book may very well be a life saver if you are trying to survive in a world that essentially runs by the rules of politicians and bureaucrats, where the ability to play the game is what counts. When you are surrounded by fakes, sometimes your best option is to learn how to put on your game face. The author does deliver the goods on this, in fine style.

If you want to improve your relationships with family, friends and romantic partners, where the creation of a facade is of no real value, this book does have something to offer you, but it will be limited. You'll find yourself trudging through entire chapters on how to sell people widgets by handing them pictures of your dog, or how to get a dead bore to tell his favorite "I'm so cool" story to your friends at a party so you can sneak off for better company without him realizing you've ditched him.
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37 of 40 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars How to socialize more smoothly, August 14, 2011
By 
Jordan Bell (Toronto, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
The 92 tricks in this book are techniques for making yourself more pleasant to talk to. People need the lubrication of small talk and etiquette for dealing with each other. Much of our interaction with each other is fairly shallow, but this shallow interaction is helpful for getting to the deeper interaction. Indeed, this book gives techniques for fairly shallow interaction between people, but knowing how to be good at shallow interaction gives you a larger number of people than you would have otherwise who are comfortable with you, with whom you can then have deeper interactions. "You see, small talk is not about facts or words. It's about music, about melody. Small talk is about putting people at ease. It's about making comforting noises together like cats purring, children humming, or groups chanting. You must first match your listener's mood." (p. 48) What I took away from this book is a greater respect for social graces.

The five top tricks that I want to remember are: look at someone for a moment before breaking into a smile (to make them feel that the smile is a response to them in particular, rather than something that's always pasted on your face); hang by your teeth posture (it seems like a good way to remember what good posture is supposed to look like); match the energy level of your conversation partner; when asked where you're from or what you do, give some story to make it interesting rather than merely giving a naked city or job; regularly scramble your life (do something you'd never dream of doing, to get a broad base of experiences that will give you something in common with a larger number of people).
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good book, October 4, 2011
By 
Amazon Customer (Karachi, Pakistan) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
Having scoured Amazon for days, I finally narrowed my selection to three books on social skills, one of which was this book.

I was looking for advice on honing my conversational skills to the level of a social butterfly. Having some experience as a management trainer, I look at self-help books critically and here is my analysis.

First the positives. This book does teach you some important and overlooked facts that are helpful for all of us, as they may be our blind spots. It also gives you real life examples to support the points. There are quite a few very helpful tips in there. It is especially good for people who are socially challenged.

On the downside, the book traverses social and professional settings, zigzagging its path, which becomes a tad confusing. The format of the book is such that it overlaps the two. However, my preference would have been two separate sections on social and professional settings. Afterall a date is dealt with differently than a prospective client. Partying skills are presented at the end, while first impressions are presented upfront. This formatting is focused on producing 92 separate tips and relating social situations to conform to them. It would have been better to classify social situations with their progression and then offer tips accordingly, which would have made the book more coherent and pragmatic.

The book borrows from Dale Carnegie and yet dismisses his tips as dated, this was a put off for me. Dale did not stretch his book to over 300 pages, he just wrote the basic idea and let the reader apply it intelligently.

Despite its shortcomings, its still a useful book for picking up some good pointers.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is changing my life, March 14, 2013
This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
I was casually browsing the bookstore at Miami Airport when I saw Leil Lowndes' book "How to talk to anyone". I skimmed through the pages, I figured I wanted to read it, and continued walking around. Then I came back, picked the book and checked out. I had 5 hours between connecting flights, so I had time to read a nice part of the book. From that point on, I started applying some of the tips - and wow.

I'm a 41 years old introvert who hardly ever speaks to anyone that I didn't have a reason to. I was able to apply some of the tips and obtain immediate results: I had a fun conversation with the people sitting next to me on the plane, and since then I've started conversations with the taxi driver, with complete strangers at my best friend's party, with waiters, store employees, I have improved my conversations with my family, my boss, my clients... I feel that every time I walk outside the house and every interaction is an opportunity to meet people and learn new things. I feel honestly happy, I've found a lot of enjoyment on my vacation, and I am aware that something very important has changed in my life. This book made my life better.
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142 of 183 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth It, April 4, 2004
By 
This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
You will enjoy this book. I bought it on clearance at a book store and hoped it would be worth it for the plane ride. It has proved to be fantastic. I have never prided myself on being good at small talk or at introductions, but Lowndes gives you numerous practical tips which can be easily and immediately applied. Although many of these tactics are specifically meant for introductions and first impressions, they can also be used for daily contact with acquaintances and friends as well. (It also feels good to come across some of the tricks and know that you already have been doing that). Unless you live in a cave, you're conversations with others will be more valuable to you than money you use to get this book
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great little book, November 19, 2008
By 
hrndnwmn "hrndnwmn" (Herndon, Virginia, USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
Learned a lot from this little book. Lots of tips and directions for shy persons to use to talk with people. I put some of them to use right away with nice results. Shy folks like me don't pick up on things like this easy, so it was nice to read simple directions for ways of interacting that might come intuitively to the extroverted, non-shy people of the world.
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102 of 133 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars My daughter found me out!, December 10, 2003
This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
Us guys in the UK are generally a little more reserved than you folk in America (all part of being English I suppose?). Meeting and starting conversations with strangers doesn't usually come so easily for most of us. So when I came across this book 'How to talk to anyone' on my daughters bookshelf I decided to `borrow' it.
I was quite impressed with some of the easy-to-use techniques the author suggested but hadn't really appreciated just how much they'd obviously sunk in as I read through it.
It was only when my daughter remarked to me a few weeks later "Dad, have you been reading 'How to talk to anyone'?"
"Why?" I asked.
"Well, I've been watching you recently, and you're going round talking to everyone like you've known them for years. Even the way you stand, listen and look at people is different!".
I confessed, and we both laughed. Like I said, I hadn't realised how easy and just how well Leil Lowndes' techniques worked.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Geared more for the business world, October 30, 2009
By 
Lori Andrews (Cleveland, Ohio) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
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This review is from: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Paperback)
I liked the idea of learning how to improve conversations with others socially but a good number of the ideas in the book are geared toward the business world and it didn't really apply to me personally. The book is not a waste, it was just a little disappointing. I would recommend it if someone wanted to improve their social status at work.
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How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
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