Customer Reviews

How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seven Languages for Transformation

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Kegan and Lahey explain that their book "is about the possibility of extraordinary change in individuals and organizations. It locates an unexpected source of boundless energy to bring these changes into being" and then assert that "if we want deeper understanding of the prospect of change, we must pay closer attention to our own powerful inclinations not [italics] to change. This attention may help us discover within ourselves the force and beauty of a hidden immune system, the dynamic process by which we tend to prevent change, by which we manufacture continuously the antigens of change." I am convinced that most human limits are self-imposed...that in Pogo's words, "We have met the enemy and he is us." The authors do indeed focus on what they call "an unexpected source of boundless energy" which significant change requires.

Throughout the book, they examine what they call "Seven Languages for Transformation" and suggest how to gain fluency in each. Four are Internal Languages: Commitment, Personal Responsibility, Competing Commitments ("Diagnosing the Immunity to Change"), and Assumptions We Hold ("Disturbing the Immunity to Change"). Fluency in these four enables us to build "The New Machine." There are also three Social Languages: Ongoing Regard, Public Agreement, and Deconstructive Criticism. Fluency in these three enables us to maintain and upgrade "The New Machine."

It is important to keep in mind that we communicate with others as well as with ourselves in three primary ways: body language, tone of voice, and content (ie what we verbalize). Decades of scientific research reveals that, in face-to-face contact, body language has the greatest impact, followed (at a significant distance) by tone of voice and then content. In voice-to-voice contact (eg during a telephone conversation), tone of voice has perhaps three times greater impact than does what is verbalized. I mention all this by way of suggesting that HOW we communicate with others and (especially) with ourselves has a major impact on behavior. Hence the importance of replacing a negative attitude. with a positive attitude. For example, to replace the Language of Complaint with the Language of Commitment.

What the authors provide is a cohesive and comprehensive process by which to recognize, understand, and then eliminate various barriers to personal and then to organizational change. In recent years, organizations throughout the world have invested hundreds of millions (billions?) of dollars in the improvement of systems of various kinds. What is sometimes overlooked or at least underestimated (at great cost in terms of hours as well as dollars) are the negative attitudes of those involved in change initiatives. Kegan and Lahey eloquently and convincingly suggest specific strategies to transform those attitudes through fluency in seven "languages" within the curriculum of what they view as a "new technology" of learning. Those who share my high regard for this book are urged to check out O'Toole's Leading Change and Senge's The Dance of Change.

This book does for business leaders and their teams what the 7 Habits (Covey) did for individuals back in the 90s, but it goes a step forward: it's packed with case studies. I won't add to the discussion about the Seven Languages for Transformation, since my fellow reviewers have already gone into extensive detail about them. The key concept that the book left me was the idea of diving into conflicts to have them "solve" you, as opposed to running away from them or trying to solve them. The basis for this idea has to do with the learning opportunities that a conflict has to offer, and the opportunities of self-discovery to dig out blatant inconsistencies between what we say we care about and what our language and actions actually shows.

Overall, the book is a very easy read, whether you do it in order to seriously implement its suggested methodology (and it is one serious set of ideas it carries) or just as a mirror to help you laugh at your so-called professional commitments.

Did you ever hear of something called "secondary gain"?

"Secondary gain" is the "hidden", possibly unconscious, reason why a person acts in a way that may, to an external observer, appear to be self-defeating. For example, Joe Bloggs frequently, and apparently sincerely, expresses a desire to lose weight - but he never does.
Why?
Because Joe has an unspoken belief that he will be safe from mugging so long as he looks big enough to wrestle a bull.

This isn't exactly rocket science. The genius of this book is that Kegan and Lahey have taken the "secondary gain" principle and repackaged it (without the usual psycho-babble) in a way that, hopefully, will appeal to the business community at large.

To this end they have developed a means by which people can quickly and easily - if they are willing - uncover what the authors call the "competing commitment" that undermines a person's declared commitment in a given situation.

For example, manager Fred Katz has the declared commitment of empowering his subordinates. Yet he briefs his people on a strictly "need to know" basis (and of course only Fred knows what his people "need" to know).

Using Kegan and Lahey's approach, described in detail in this book, Fred might discover that he has a competing commitment to gain promotion by demonstrating his indispensability. This he can only achieve, as he sees it, by keeping his people dependent on him as the one person in the department who has access to the "big picture".

Will this self-knowledge guarantee that Fred changes his behaviour?
Not necessarily. But at least he has a better understanding of his situation and is in a position to look for ways of achieving *both* commitments (empowerment AND promotion) in a constructive and non-conflicting manner.

Along with the main thrust of the book, the authors make a number of observations that are absolutely key elements of better management skills, including:

- sometimes it's better to let a problem ride, giving yourself a chance to learn from it, rather than trying to "fix" every little blip the moment it appears
- "The changing that people do because others make them costs an organisation a very dear price and is much shorter lived than the changing people do because they have first changed their minds"

This is a book that EVERY manager can benefit from reading, even those who think they have already achieved optimum performance.

My one criticism of the book - the reason why I have only given it four stars - is that flow of the text is regularly interrupted by lapses into poor grammar and sentence construction. And this despite, one assumes, the attentions of a professional editor.
How, for example, did this paragraph ever get into print?:

"But how exactly might we further creating and practicing this language in real life work (as opposed to merely illustrating it)?"

And a few lines later:

"Whatever salable [sic] product they have produced ..."

Surely even a basic scan of the text with a decent spelling/grammar checker would have been sufficient to pick up items like this?

As author of the book "The evolving Self", Kegan is amongst the select few that have written about life's transformations. He really figured out how and why people are "committed" to resist change. Now Kegan offers tools to "transform" from one level to the next. Most of the time, when confronted to change, a little voice inside us will tell us why not the change. According to Kegan & Lahey, this voice speaks with 7 tongues. One could even say that these "voices" make us immune to change. Luckily, for each of the 7 languages, this book offers a powerful antidote.

What I like about the book is that it's practical. It includes exercises and models that you can apply in your day to day practice. As such I recommend it to people who want to get through a transformational stage themselves (as a how-to book) or who want to help others.

What I regretted is that there in no reference section nor any footnotes (contrary to Kegan's other excellent books). In other words, this book makes it seem that the authors "invented" all this, while there are several other books (including my own) that offer solutions to several of the roadblocks mentioned here. To make the reader aware that there are other books helping to get through roadblocks, I especially want to mention Donald Mitchell's "The 2,000 percent solution", which is more practical for a business context. But to be fair, this book also includes some new material I haven't seen elsewhere.

Recommended!

Patrick E.C. Merlevede - author of "7 Steps to Emotional intelligence"

Imagine getting so much perspective on habits you're not happy about that you can actually keep your commitments to yourself. Using language structure as both the diagnostic and the cure, Kegan and Lahey offer up a fresh guide to creating sustainable change.

While it is designed to be used for workplace issues, it can also be used in other aspects of life. This book is clear, well-written, and so easily accessible it can even be used as a workbook. In fact the authors recommend a study group, and give clear steps to applying the model and specific case studies of participants who have successfully used it to create change. The significant difference between this and all other "managing change" books is a respectful recognition of competing commitments. That is, we don't need to conquer resistance, we need to understand it as a legitimate and experienced based reluctance designed for self-protection. Only then can the source and the solution be brought to light. This way of thinking is a treasure.

This book presents a simple worksheet to help you analyze your resistance to change. Once completed, you will understand the inner conflicts that hinder your personal and professional development despite your best intentions. Of course, simply understanding these conflicts isn't enough, so the authors present methods to understand the usefulness of your resistance, eliminate your judgement around it, and harness its power for change.

This method has helped me overcome my greatest dissatisfaction at work and I've experienced amazing results. I must warn, however, that despite being simple it entails quite a bit of self observation and continued effort. But this in itself is a huge asset.

I highly recommend this book for anybody experiencing even the slightest dissatisfaction at work or in life.

The authors note three forces in nature entropy (energy dissipation); negentropy (energy building) and dynamic equilibrium - keeping things pretty much as they are - a system of countervailing energies. In order to transform and restore trust within a system, the authors suggest it's necessary to surface and address what countervailing forces keep the person/team stuck. Changing how we talk may be the key.

1. Language of complaint to commitment
2. Language of blame to personal responsibility
3. Language of new years' resolutions to competing commitments
4. Language of big assumptions that hold us to language of assumptions that we hold
5. Language of prizes and praising to language of ongoing regard [this one opened a door for me - the difference between praising another's attributes (my perspective may not be theirs) to sharing how I subjectively benefited from their actions - which can be authentically stated.]
6. Language of rules and policies to language of public agreement [a key to restoring and maintaining trust] See Chapter 5.
7. Descontructive Communication - Language of knowing/arguing to exploring and testing

By adopting different language, we can open the door to alignment and authenticity. The book really rocks!

I love the analysis of the way we communicate breaks down common misconceptions. This book shows the things that create negative responses and reactions. I think that while it shows ways to change, very few people actually change. I plan to use these concepts with my employees and see if it has an impact. My supervisor told me about this and advised trying it out with a partner first. I can see ways that I and others I work with fall into patterns that can be changed.
Judy

One of the chief obstacles we face as executive coaches is the apparent inability and/or unwillingness of our clients to complete the changes to which they have given what appears to be whole-hearted endorsement and commitment. Without these fundamental changes taking place, the enterprise is often stuck in a rut of repetition and entropy.

In this well-written and well-thought-out book, the authors present a new way of getting through any necessary change, by introducing the "Seven Languages of Transformation". We learn how the resistance to change is really a fundamental process of our personal "immune" system, and changes in individual behaviors are necessary to overcome this obstacle. The book is laid out in a step-by-step method to achieve these behavioral changes through seven new "languages" that we must learn to speak to ourselves and those we lead and coach.

For example, the first new "language" they discuss is learning to take a "complaint" about something going wrong as actually a reflection of a "commitment" to a better way. The person making the complaint is asked to restate the complaint in the terms of the positive commitment that is implied. A negative situation is thus turned into a positive, transformational one that gets things going in the right direction for a change. The positive movement achieved by the application of each new "language" leads to the next mental hurdle, for which the authors provide another new "language" to handle. The book includes many step-by-step worksheets for the reader to use individually or with a partner, to apply the principles to a real-life problem they may be working through.

The authors are developmental psychologists working chiefly in academia, so their examples are a little top-heavy with educational situations. The examples are universal and transferable to the business world, however, so this is a minor complaint. The book as a whole is quite free of psycho-babble and mumbo-jumbo, and can bring the reader to an exciting and novel way of changing the way we do business, and changing something fundamental in ourselves. I recommend it most highly. How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seven Languages for Transformation

Kegan & Lahey have compiled a remarkable study into the importance of mastering communication skills; both verbal & non-verbal; in order to be more productive with our work & our lives, for that matter.

An important, and largely misunderstood part of effective communication, is using an approach which values personal accountability, while diminishing finger pointing. This would be most beneficial for management to comprehend when faced with the challenge of getting employees to actively engage in the process of work. Certainly, by mastering the art of communicating in a non-threatening, engaging way, half the battle is won.

Another great book on the subject is Paul Herr's Primal Management: Unraveling the Secrets of Human Nature to Drive High Performance. It picks up where Kegan & Lahey left off with this particular gem.