How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You [Paperback]

The Oatmeal (Author), Matthew Inman (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 9, 2012

TheOatmeal.com’s most popular cat jokes, including “How to Pet a Kitty” and “The Bobcats,” plus 15 new and never-before-seen catthemed comics, are presented in this hilarious collection from New York Times best-selling author Matthew Inman, a.k.a. TheOatmeal.com. Includes pull-out poster!

Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat comics in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.

If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of cat comics, facts, and instructional guides from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat jokes. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have from Mr. Oats! A pullout poster is included at the back of the book.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Brilliantly whimsical yet oddly informative, TheOatmeal.com is an entertainment Web site full of comics, quizzes, and stories. The site gets more than 5 million unique page views a month; 250,000 blogs and Web sites have linked to it. TheOatmeal.com is written, drawn, and coded by Matthew Inman, a king of all trades when it comes to the Web. Matthew lives in Seattle, Washington. He subsists on a steady diet of crickets and whiskey. He enjoys long walks on the beach, gravity, and breathing heavily through his mouth. His dislikes include scurvy, typhoons, and tapeworm medication.

Product Details

• Paperback: 136 pages
• Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing; Pap/Pstr edition (October 9, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1449410243
• ISBN-13: 978-1449410247
• Product Dimensions: 7 x 0.6 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (727 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #952 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #2 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Cats, Dogs & Animals
  • #3 in Books > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > Pets & Animal Care > Cats
  • #4 in Books > Comics & Graphic Novels > Comic Strips

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

520 of 546 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars OMG, my cat IS plotting to kill me. October 9, 2012

By Courtney H. Bailey

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

Luckily my copy of the book arrived in a plain brown wrapper, or else Fluffy would have surely destroyed it before I came home. I took it into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. As the Oatmeal revealed the details of her insidious plot, she was sticking her sharp clawed feet through the crack under the locked door like a kitty reenactment of The Shining. I hid the book under my shirt when I left the bathroom although I could tell she was suspicious because she wove through my legs trying to trip me up so I would drop it and show my hand.

Thanks to the Oatmeal, I now know the truth. She knows that I know that she knows that I know. She is watching me. I am waiting for her next move. It's like a game. Like a game of what?... yes, cat and mouse, my friend. Only this time she is playing for keeps.

670 of 730 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The paper version is compatiple with my eyes October 9, 2012

By C. N. Hickey

Format:Kindle Edition

Since there are other reviews based solely on device-specific criticism and not on the content, I figured it'd be logical to write a positive review in the same way. The paper edition seems to work natively without any apps. The right combination of gravity and friction make for a steady reading experience in my hands. In space (or any zero-G environment) I might not even have to hold the book! I'd probably hold the book anyway; it'd be strange reading a floating book. Sadly, the print version doesn't seem to work well in the dark, but hindsight is 20/20. Since it functions well enough in sunlight or under artificial light, I didn't negate four stars. Inman & co: please think ahead for the next version. Glow-in-the-dark pages are a must.

142 of 157 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Good read. October 9, 2012

By Jeremy Simpson

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I read my copy about 20 minutes after it was delivered this morning. Then I read the second copy I purchased for a friend about an hour after that, just so I could say I was the first to read his copy.

I'll always have that...

Also, the damn thing was funny.

48 of 56 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars A letdown October 16, 2012

By sLarimer

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I've followed The Oatmeal for years now, checked his site regularly, bought his books, supported his kookie causes (Nikola Tesla museums,) etc. etc. etc.

Why?

Because this guy makes me laugh; he is an excellent comic that takes down-to-earth material, makes it completely unrealistic (or sometimes too realistic,) and comes out on top almost every time. This book, however, really disappointed me. As much as I love his cat comics, you can only use the same joke about nard-licking, leg-clawing, face-sitting cats so many times before it gets old. I felt like very little of the Oatmeal's wild creativity went into this book, even though he had a limited theme of cats vs. the world. Also, full page comics are great when they aren't being used as 20-page filler to make the book appear worth the money. I hope to see more in the near future - hopefully, another book like the first to draw the Oatlets back in after this flop.

BORROW this book from a friend if you want to find out more about the inner-secrets of the enigma that is the felis catus.

100 of 127 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I haven't read this book and am here to order it today. Here's why I'm reviewing it: October 9, 2012

By Kristin Ferguson

Format:Paperback

I came to Amazon to buy this book and was surprised to see it had two 1-star reviews. Uh oh, I thought, is the Oatmeal losing its funny? Nope. The two reviews are for technical failures of the digital downloads, not for the book itself. Please don't give bad reviews to books that you haven't yet read! (And I promise I'll never in future give GOOD reviews to books I haven't yet read.)

35 of 44 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Oatmeal = laugh out loud WIN October 9, 2012

By ThingsDaniSays

Format:Paperback

If you haven't been to [...] you are not doing LIFE correctly.

I bought two...one for me and one for some random person I will ask on the street if they have heard of The Oatmeal and if they answer 'no' I will hand them this book because they obviously need to be slapped in the eyes with some sweet unadulterated goodness.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great print quality, great content (only 1 minor gripe) October 11, 2012

By P. Killion

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

So I just got my book today, and not to repeat other reviews but come on, rate the product for what it is, not due to your lack of understanding!

So first, since I ordered the print version, I've gotta say the thing that most concerned me before ordering was the quality of the printing. This is a very cheap book, as in price-wise, it's on the low end particuarly for a high-color book, and I feared the print quality would suffer as a result. However, I've gotta say, the print quality is phenomenal. Nice thick glossy pages (but not so thick that the entire book is like 10 pages), spot-on high quality color printing, it just feels nice.

The comics are also hilarious, but as other reviewers have commented, much of it is already on the 'net. That being said, I wasn't really shocked and personally, I don't think that's all that much of a problem. Many books merely gather web content, and many of them don't even provide new content as well! I have a post-secret book, which even though it's all online, seeing it in print is worth the price (if you like that kind of stuff). Heck, many comic series are free (Hobbes, Garfield, etc) yet I still buy those books as well. Anyways, the gist of it is yes, much of the book is already online, but some of it is not; if you absolutely love the Oatmeal comics the new ones are worth it, if you're kinda "meh" on the ones that area already online such as "How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You", then no, the new content isn't worth it. Funny, but not OMZG ThUPeR HIGHLARIOUS!!

Finally, This leads me to my one complaint, but again, I'd say it's also personal opinion: I wish the book was larger.... While I can see and appreciate how neatly Inman organized the comics to work in a normal novel-size book, I think comics lend themselves to more "creative" book sizes, particularly when they are somewhat conversation-piece oriented. Personally, I actually would have liked a 10"x14" hardbound version, but I think Matthew did this probably to make the piece more affordable. Like I said, that's personal opinion, but I'm not going to knock off stars because Matthew didn't personally make and design the book to my exact specifications. The book is solid, and more then worth the price of admission. Read more ›