How to Win Any Argument: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your Cool, or Coming to Blows [Paperback]

Robert Mayer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 2005

Are you anticipating an argument with your boss when you ask for a raise?

Are you expecting trouble from a supplier, contractor, landlord or subordinate?

Are you the parent of an argumentative teen or a teen with an argumentative parent?

The art of the argument—the pro's game of knowing what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Winning arguments without raising your voice, losing your cool, or coming to blows. Without bulldozing and browbeating the other guy. Without offending or embarrassing anyone, including yourself.

Winning arguments with confidence, grace and ease.

If you’re ready, Bob Mayer will show you how in a light, humorous, page-turning read filled with personal and celebrity anecdotes and riveting tidbits. What is the book's secret? "It's martial. It's mental judo. Where you use the other guy's energy to win. It’s mind-set. It's charisma." That's how the New York Times describes Bob Mayer's winning methodology.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Larry King, calls Bob Mayer "a lawyer’s lawyer." Mayer conducts negotiation, mediation, and persuasion seminars and workshops for M.B.A. students, lawyers, and law school students, professional associations, and businesses. He lives in Los Angeles.

Product Details

• Paperback: 223 pages
• Publisher: Career Press (April 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1564148106
• ISBN-13: 978-1564148100
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #706,464 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Larry King calls Bob Mayer "a lawyer's lawyer." He has appeared on over 130 radio and television shows and has conducted negotiating workshops for UCLA, the University of Southern California, Tulane University, Pepperdine University, various governmental authorities, private companies, and professional associations. He lives in Los Angeles.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Utter Fluff, February 19, 2006

By 

T. Lee (Philadelphia, PA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Win Any Argument: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your Cool, or Coming to Blows (Paperback)

Having previewed the back cover, and seeing the rave reviews from Cuba Gooding Jr. and Entertainment Today, for a book on arguing, I should have known better.

As an MBA student from the Wharton School, I figured it would be good to brush up on some soft skills, but I found this book difficult to follow, and the advice impractical and irrelevant. As you read this book, paragraph by paragraph, there is absolutely no flow or coherence to the points the author is trying to make. Each paragraph is a mini-rant in and of itself; like a random stream of consciousness that has no connection to the paragraph before it, or the paragraph after it. I was frustrated reading through this book, but since I dropped 12 bucks on it, I figured there woudl be some A-HA moment, a treasured insight, that would redeem this mess of a book. I didn't find it unfortunately, and I'd recommend that you not waste your time reading this book; it's several hours of my life I'll never get back.

13 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Calm Way to Win, February 6, 2006

By 

Rolf Dobelli "getAbstract" (Switzerland) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Win Any Argument: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your Cool, or Coming to Blows (Paperback)

It would be nice to recommend this book to everyone, because the world would be a better place if everyone either: A) played by these rules when arguing, or B) used these techniques when people were trying to persuade them. Anybody can learn these methods, which range from recommendations to stay calm to suggestions on shaping your message according to context. All are useful and presented in clear principles and vivid illustrations. However, getting most opponents to accept these rules would be nearly impossible. Robert Mayer is an attorney, but if you suppose (given the stereotype about wily lawyers) that he adds in some manipulative, tactical tricks, the weakness in his book is actually the opposite. Mayer mostly discusses ethical arguments, seeks win-win outcomes and seems to assume that you'll always be arguing with upright people. Because of this, he focuses on crafting your message - and does a superior job - but essentially doesn't touch on how to deal with abusive situations, entrenched irrationality, or simple threats and lying. We recommend this book with a drop of cynical caution: if you are naïve anyway, and must argue, also get some tougher, more wary advice. You may still wonder How to Win Any Argument if you end up opposing someone who is determined to win at any cost.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Kind of fluffy..., November 26, 2006

By 

Lee Randolph - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Win Any Argument: Without Raising Your Voice, Losing Your Cool, or Coming to Blows (Paperback)

He touches on some important and valid concepts, but the organization is poor and areas where I wanted more information I had to look up in google. If he had references in his book it would have been better and I would have probably given it a higher score. He touches on concepts from influence and persuasion, psychology, social psychology and argumentation theory, but doesn't get detailed enough to make an impression that will stick. And his recommendation from Larry King is a blatant 'appeal to authority' taking the inappropriate path of influence described by the 'elaboration-likelihood model' of persuasion. Considering we all sought and purchased this book would mean we have more than a superficial interest in it and the other elaboration likelihood path would have been more appropriate.