How to Win Friends & Influence People

(Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price

Review

From an era when 'self-help' books had genuine depth, Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has influenced the world. No book in the self-help category matters more than this one.

Learning to relate to people in the ways Carnegie instructs will help you personally as well as professionally.

This book is a classic because Carnegie teaches timeless truths in timeless ways.

--Paul Walker --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Pocket; 1st Printing edition (February 15, 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671723650
• ISBN-13: 978-0671723651
• Product Dimensions: 6.7 x 4.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (743 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #747 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Common sense advice, but beware the unwritten chapter, November 7, 2005

By	Andrew Olivo Parodi (Oregon, United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

I won't waste your time with a rundown of what "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is about. With over 400 reviews on Amazon, with over 15 million copies sold, and with a very self-explanatory title, I think you all get it. For the rare person who may not know what this book is about, here's a succinct description: in 1930s vernacular prose, Dale Carnegie explains that by appealing to the other person's highest ideals, remembering the other person's name, letting the other person do most of the talking, speaking in terms of the other person's interests, allowing the other to save face, by "throwing down a challenge," etc., you can make a friend out of just about anyone.

The advice is largely sound, but I think the reader should keep in mind the context within which this book was written. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was written in the 1930's and intended primarily as a companion book to Dale Carnegie's classes on how to be a good salesman. In other words, these techniques work very well in the context of sales and public relations, i.e., in relationships that are not expected to be deep and/or long-lasting. I wouldn't recommend using these techniques on close personal friends. Doing so may make a person come across as a bit "plastic."

Also, there is one major point that I think needs to be remembered, but unfortunately is nowhere to be found in "How to Win Friends and Influence People." During my research of Dale Carnegie's techniques, I came across what I believe may be the only biography available about him: "Dale Carnegie: The Man Who Influenced Millions" by Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin. This book reveals many interesting things, such as the fact that Dale Carnegie grew up poor; he lost part of his left index finger when he was a child; he often broke many of the tenets set forth in this book, often forgetting others' names, often arguing with others, etc. But what I found most interesting was that the last chapter of "How to Win Friends" was to describe those individuals with whom none of Dale Carnegie's techniques work. In this unpublished chapter, Carnegie wrote that there were some people with whom it was impossible to get along. You either needed to divorce such people, "knock them down," or sue them in court.

Why is that chapter absent from this book, you ask? Well, Dale Carnegie was in the middle of writing this chapter when he was offered a trip to Europe, and rather than complete this last chapter he decided to take the trip. The uncompleted book was sent off to publishers, and Carnegie shipped off to Europe.

Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin say that given the optimistic tone of the rest of "How to Win Friends," the European trip was perhaps the better choice. Reconciling the the unwritten chapter with the rest of this optimistic book would've been nearly impossible, they say.

Anyway, I think that this unpublished chapter is important to keep in mind. I had to learn the hard way that the unpublished chapter is very true. There are some people with whom it is impossible to get along. When you meet up with such people, and believe me you will, don't think that you've failed the Carnegie techniques. Instead, remind yourself that you are experiencing exactly what Carnegie describes in that pragmatic, unpublished chapter. And then quickly move on to the nicer people!

Andrew Olivo Parodi

211 of 259 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It's a classic for a reason, July 28, 2009

By	Adam Cox - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: How to Win Friends & Influence People (Paperback)

Under the subheading "15,000,000 people can't be wrong," I proudly present one of the all-time business book classics. You've probably heard about this book, as it's one of those titles that have become part of the cultural lexicon (like CATCH-22). It floats around the edges of the pop-culture ether, easily recalled but little read.

Written in 1936, it is based on courses in public speaking that had been taught in adult education courses by Dale Carnegie since 1912 (and to put to rest a popular assumption, he was no relation to the magnate Andrew Carnegie). It is an unusual little book, written in a highly personalized, colloquial style that is reminiscent of a lecture.

But this is no infomercial for real estate investment with no money down or for a personal improvement guru. This book was designed with professionals in mind, and designed to help professional people do better in business by helping them make social contacts and improve their speaking skills. It was also written with a certain...earnestness in mind. Carnegie was a big believer in sincerity when it came to dealing with other people.

The core of the book accomplishes four, overarching objectives:

* THREE FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

* THE SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

* THE TWELVE WAYS TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

* THE NINE WAYS TO CHANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT AROUSING RESENTMENT

Thoroughly entertaining by using fun and interesting examples, I don't think many readers will regret checking this one out and I like to think of this book as a kind of Human Relations 101 of sorts.

Another related book that I recommend strongly because it's outstanding and a modernized approach to people skills is Emotional Intelligence 2.0

189 of 244 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars More than just getting along well with people, February 4, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: How to Win Friends & Influence People (Audio CD)

I think the title of this book may be misleading in that just about everyone can get along with people, and win friends. The part of the title that most people was is the abaility to influence others especially in a way that makes them happy and willing to do what you ask.

As a supervisor for a department of 50 people, I found it was easy to get people to do what I asked them becuase I was the boss. After reading How To Win Friends and Influence People, I was able to get people to do what I asked not because I was there supervisor, because they wanted to.

In addition, I have always found that there are always some people (many times my supervisors) who completely lack people skills. Dale Carnegies book taugh me how to work with those people as well.

I highly recommend How To Win Friends and Influence People to anyone who wants to significantly improve their people skills and especially their ability to positively influence people.

Great book!