4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
People Skills Perfected, May 18, 2010
This review is from: How to Win Friends and Influence People (Paperback)
I was drawn to this book after reading in Warren Buffett's biography that it was a book he found hugely influential in his own success with dealing with people. Mr. Buffett had countless friends and influenced as many people as anyone in his lifetime, so I had to read it. I was not disappointed, this book has the eloquent writing style that was prominent in the 1930's (the first edition was written in 1936)very charming and well written, it is a delight to read. I really wished I would have read this book twenty years ago. I would have had a much smoother journey through my business career and personal relationships, but alas later is better than never and I look forward to putting what I learned in place for the next fifty years.
Hear is how you win people to your way of thinking in a nutshell. How do you get the best of an argument? Avoid them at all costs, they are not worth the price. Always show respect for others opinions. Never, ever, say "You are wrong." This gains you nothing. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. This is biblical from the mouth of Jesus, no less. Begin all encounters with people in a friendly way. Always get the other person saying yes, by finding common ground. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking, this is perceived as having great listening skills. Let the other person feel that the idea that you are presenting is his or hers. This is a skill. It is crucial to honestly see things from the other person's point of view. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. Appeal to the nobler motives. Dramatize your ideas to make them unforgettable and convincing. Throw down a challenge, something for the other person to live up to. This appeals to the ego and desire to be important.
A leader's job includes changing people's attitudes and behavior. Here is how to be a leader in a nutshell. Always begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly and very discreetly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Let the other person save face, give them a way out. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Use encouragement to get results. Make any fault seem easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
This is an excellent book within the realm of learning, developing, and using people skills. So many of us lack this level of tact and finesse, most of us would do well to read this book and put its principles into action. I believe all readers will get the money spent on this book back a thousand times over in the value it adds to your life if you put these principles in action and refer back to it before important conversations take place in your life. I give this book five stars and two thumbs up.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
10 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Book with Advices I Actually Applied in Real-life Situations, February 11, 2010
This review is from: How to Win Friends and Influence People (Paperback)
Today, I was assigned a difficult task by my father. My father is the landlord of an apartment in China and has a very difficult time getting his tenant to pay rental on time. He asked me to say some harsh things in a letter which will be handed to the tenant, including:
1. Many Filipinos (his tenant is Filipino) are Catholics and they are honest people.
2. The tenant is the only Filipino he encountered in China. (Suggesting that he is ruining his nation's reputation)
3. Tell him that he breached the contract.
4. Tell him that he will not have the tenancy renewed.
5. Tell him that he would inform the real estate agencies about his deeds, so that he will not be able to rent a place in the neighborhood in the future.
For a moment, my mind went blank. I remember how I used to shun this type of writings in the numerous English composition examinations I took. To make things worse, this is not a composition for God's sake, this is FOR REAL. It involves the tough issue of human relations. I am so lucky to have read Dale's book. I dug out some relevant principles and tried my best to apply them:
1. If you really have to blame, begin with praises.
2. Let the other person save face.
3. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
So I followed these principles and this is what I wrote (after doing some research in a website promoting tourism in the Philippines):
Dear Sir,
The Philippines is a beautiful country. It is surrounded by picturesque islands and is home to over 76 million wonderful people. Predominantly Catholics, Filipinos always impress people with their honesty, truthfulness and integrity.
You are the only Filipino I encountered in China and I have no doubt that you are equally wonderful like your countrymen. Therefore, I do not blame you for occasionally overlooking the exact rental amount or its due date. I believe a little clarification on my part would suffice to clear any misunderstanding leading to the aforementioned situation.
May I kindly refer you to the tenancy agreement we signed for the lease. In the contract, it is clearly stated that ...........
I believe you would agree with me that Sing Ho Bay is a very nice neighbourhood perfect for decent residents like you. People in this community have close connections and rely on each other to maintain its harmony. Therefore, it is my duty, as a landlord, to invite quality tenants to join our community. I also have the responsibility to communicate effectively with my tenants to avoid any contractual disputes that would potentially disrupt the harmony we all treasured.
I am sure it is only an accidental oversight on your part and I am equally sure that with this clarification, you will become the best tenant and the most wonderful Filipino I have ever met in my life.
Yours faithfully,
-------------------------------------------------
If you find what I wrote make sense, you might want to check out my blog, which is primarily about marketing and business ideas: [...].
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No