Customer Reviews

How to Win Friends and Influence People

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I was drawn to this book after reading in Warren Buffett's biography that it was a book he found hugely influential in his own success with dealing with people. Mr. Buffett had countless friends and influenced as many people as anyone in his lifetime, so I had to read it. I was not disappointed, this book has the eloquent writing style that was prominent in the 1930's (the first edition was written in 1936)very charming and well written, it is a delight to read. I really wished I would have read this book twenty years ago. I would have had a much smoother journey through my business career and personal relationships, but alas later is better than never and I look forward to putting what I learned in place for the next fifty years.

Hear is how you win people to your way of thinking in a nutshell. How do you get the best of an argument? Avoid them at all costs, they are not worth the price. Always show respect for others opinions. Never, ever, say "You are wrong." This gains you nothing. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. This is biblical from the mouth of Jesus, no less. Begin all encounters with people in a friendly way. Always get the other person saying yes, by finding common ground. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking, this is perceived as having great listening skills. Let the other person feel that the idea that you are presenting is his or hers. This is a skill. It is crucial to honestly see things from the other person's point of view. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. Appeal to the nobler motives. Dramatize your ideas to make them unforgettable and convincing. Throw down a challenge, something for the other person to live up to. This appeals to the ego and desire to be important.

A leader's job includes changing people's attitudes and behavior. Here is how to be a leader in a nutshell. Always begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly and very discreetly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Let the other person save face, give them a way out. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Use encouragement to get results. Make any fault seem easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

This is an excellent book within the realm of learning, developing, and using people skills. So many of us lack this level of tact and finesse, most of us would do well to read this book and put its principles into action. I believe all readers will get the money spent on this book back a thousand times over in the value it adds to your life if you put these principles in action and refer back to it before important conversations take place in your life. I give this book five stars and two thumbs up.

Today, I was assigned a difficult task by my father. My father is the landlord of an apartment in China and has a very difficult time getting his tenant to pay rental on time. He asked me to say some harsh things in a letter which will be handed to the tenant, including:

1. Many Filipinos (his tenant is Filipino) are Catholics and they are honest people.

2. The tenant is the only Filipino he encountered in China. (Suggesting that he is ruining his nation's reputation)

3. Tell him that he breached the contract.

4. Tell him that he will not have the tenancy renewed.

5. Tell him that he would inform the real estate agencies about his deeds, so that he will not be able to rent a place in the neighborhood in the future.

For a moment, my mind went blank. I remember how I used to shun this type of writings in the numerous English composition examinations I took. To make things worse, this is not a composition for God's sake, this is FOR REAL. It involves the tough issue of human relations. I am so lucky to have read Dale's book. I dug out some relevant principles and tried my best to apply them:

1. If you really have to blame, begin with praises.

2. Let the other person save face.

3. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

So I followed these principles and this is what I wrote (after doing some research in a website promoting tourism in the Philippines):

Dear Sir,

The Philippines is a beautiful country. It is surrounded by picturesque islands and is home to over 76 million wonderful people. Predominantly Catholics, Filipinos always impress people with their honesty, truthfulness and integrity.

You are the only Filipino I encountered in China and I have no doubt that you are equally wonderful like your countrymen. Therefore, I do not blame you for occasionally overlooking the exact rental amount or its due date. I believe a little clarification on my part would suffice to clear any misunderstanding leading to the aforementioned situation.

May I kindly refer you to the tenancy agreement we signed for the lease. In the contract, it is clearly stated that ...........

I believe you would agree with me that Sing Ho Bay is a very nice neighbourhood perfect for decent residents like you. People in this community have close connections and rely on each other to maintain its harmony. Therefore, it is my duty, as a landlord, to invite quality tenants to join our community. I also have the responsibility to communicate effectively with my tenants to avoid any contractual disputes that would potentially disrupt the harmony we all treasured.

I am sure it is only an accidental oversight on your part and I am equally sure that with this clarification, you will become the best tenant and the most wonderful Filipino I have ever met in my life.

Yours faithfully,

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This book is filled with practical and applicable help in relationships. Mr. Carnegie also offers numerous examples of his insight for the reader. Such great insight into people!

As a missionary / evangelist, I had heard much about this book by way of comments from older preachers. I decided to pick it up and check it out for myself and I have been amazed at the simple yet logical truth contained within. Carnegie's writing style is engaging and he really challenges the reader to put the material to the test. I hadn't even finished the book before deciding to employ some of things Carnegie recommends and found that I was better received by strangers and felt I was connecting more quickly to people simply by listening more carefully and showing that I found the person important. Though many of the illustrations are dated, the ideas still come through and I found it interesting that despite almost 80 years since it was first published, the simple truths still work.

Perfect book for coaching me on where I need to be with social skills and influence and a book that came in good condition.

Good read, I would recommend. It was recommended to me by a friend and I have already recommended it to colleagues.

All I can say is that this is a great book. It will definetly be an influence in my life.

The title might be a bit deceiving. This book gives great advise on how to interact with people. The message is simple: be kind, be thoughtful and show people that you care about them. Heart-warming examples of kind attention shown to others and how that attention positively impacted the lives of all involved.

This is a book that everyone should read! The author offers some great tips on dealing with people that everyone can practice. If you want to improve you interpersonal or social skills get this book.

Although originally written several decades ago, Carnegie's masterpiece about human

relationships is still timeless classic with principles that still apply today. Carnegie crafts a classic on how to create strong and lasting relationships with others through listening, understanding, and emphasizing. He argues convincingly that the way to win friends and influence people is to make others feel important. Simple, but extremely powerful concepts!

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