Customer Reviews

How Women Help Men Find God

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I read this book immediately after reading Murrow's previous book on the same topic, Why Men Hate Going to Church.
His message was great, and I recommend it to every believer. You can read the other glowing reviews as to why.

But let me add one recommendation:

You do not need to by BOTH books. 75% (or more) of the content of How Women Help Men Find God is a repeat of the information already presented in Why Men Hate Going To Church. There are a few additional tidbits that would be practical for an individual woman to help the men in her life find God, so if that is you, buy THAT one instead.

I would encourage you to thoughtfully read what David Murrow has to say, but only buy one book or the other, not both!

David Murrow first entered the evangelical publishing world with his bestselling book WHY MEN HATE GOING TO CHURCH, which resonated strongly with men and women alike. In this follow-up, HOW WOMEN HELP MEN FIND GOD, Murrow once again writes with wit, style and great wisdom on matters of faith both in general and in particular, and how men view God and the church.

Murrow's spiritual insight into the reasons why men defer (and detest) the modern church scene will astound and surprise women. It will also allow Christian women room for thoughtful consideration on how they impact those men in their lives who they long to see come into a meaningful personal relationship with Christ and grow strong in their day-to-day faith journey.

In this excellent resource, women will discover how church culture is in direct opposition to man culture. In Murrow's words, it's the "church versus man" concept by its very form and style. He is well aware that all too many believing women pray for their men, invest in their sons' lives, serve as witnesses to neighbors and colleagues, only to have their words fall flat or incite little difference into these males' spirituality. What's a woman to do? Murrow unveils how men think and how to effectively tailor church, worship, praying, service, even the church aesthetics, to be more favorable to getting and keeping men engaged.

First off, Murrow tells females that, yes, today's church is losing steam and its men. Even though the upper echelon of leadership is mostly male, between 60 and 70 percent of the typical worship service is female. Sadly, no other religion suffers this huge gender gap as does Christianity. And it's not that men don't believe --- polls show that 90% of men believe in God and five out of six call themselves Christians (while only two of the six attend a church service). So the disjunct must be addressed, and fast, while there's still enough time and men interested in investing in the church at large.

Interestingly, what men hear from the pulpit can edge them toward the exit. Consider how pastors preach on Jesus being loving, tender, gentle and compassionate. Rarely do Christians hear of Jesus being frightening, commanding, stern or zealous. So even though men fill the pulpit, they preach to the females in far greater proportion --- which leads to Murrow's observation of why men are uncomfortable at church.

* Jesus' most famous teachings are the softest ones.
* The doctrine of grace is harder for men to swallow.
* As a congregation matures, masculine values are pushed aside.
* Historically, the church marginalizes laymen.
* The Victorian Era brought an explosion of femininity to the church.
* Western thought has assigned religion to the realm of feelings.

Every one of Murrow's premises rings true, which may leave women discouraged. What can they do to effect change in their own local church? Lots, says Murrow, and he offers women step-by-step suggestions for jump-starting the man-inviting changes to take place at their current house of worship. Thorough and engaging, Murrow has developed another fine resource that will find its way into the hearts and hands of men and women alike (and to the gratitude of them both).

--- Reviewed by Michele Howe

This book will probably step on a few toes, but that's ok. If you've been unsuccessfully trying to get an important male in your life to go to church or to come to Christ, you'll probably figure out why after reading this. I ran several things by my husband and he said, "That's exactly how I feel!" many times. Has humor and compassion, but you have to ask yourself are you really willing to make the changes in yourself and help make changes in your church (or even change churches) to bring him to Christ? Or are you just going to keep plugging along unsuccessfully "praying" he'll come?

Also very good for mothers of young boys and teens who are concerned about making sure they stay in church and close to God after they are no longer under your roof.

Last summer I read "How Women Help Men Find God." Of course the advice was aimed at women but I was willing to overcome that in order to find out more about David Murrow's insights on the problems with American Christianity. I found the book to be extremely helpful, as was "Why Me Hate Going to Church" when I read it several years ago, but the book did contain one glaring error. On page 32 there was this sentence:

Former priest Richard Sipe estimates that in the United States,
at least half of Catholic priest and a third of the bishops are gay.

Those figures are ridiculous and unfounded. Sipe's estimates are not based on a random sampling of priests. This means that they are essentially useless when it comes to trying to talk about Catholic priests in general. His numbers are largely based on those priests who chose to contact and/or meet with him. Heterosexually oriented priests who are confident that they like St. Paul (1 Cor 7:7) are called to celibacy, and who aren't coming from a theologically liberal background that gives them an axe to grind when it comes to Church authority, aren't too likely to have anything to do with someone like Sipe.



Pages 24-28 of Father Andrew Greeley's book "Priests: A Calling in Crisis" shows the uselessness of Sipe's numbers. Fr. Greeley is no arch-conservative, and he is the last person who would underestimate the problems faced by the Catholic Church, and on page 28 of this book he called Sipe's figures "guesswork...masguerading as serious and responsible social science."


Priests: A Calling in Crisis

Mr. Murrow does an excellent job of diagnosing problems faced by American Christianity as a whole. Unfortunately his discussion of particular problems faced by the Catholic Church in the United States is not rooted in reality or based on facts.

Fr. Ryan Larson
Sts. Peter and Paul Catholic Church
Naperville, IL

This book is written for women, but as a former (and future?) pastor, I wanted to read it because it is packed full of ideas on how women (and churches in general) can help men become followers of Jesus.

Such a book is desperately needed because the average church today is seeing a massive drop-out rate among men. We are not just losing a generation; we are losing an entire sex.

Of course, if your congregation is bucking the trend and is comprised of at least 50% men (in all age groups), then chances are good that you and your church are already doing some of the things mentioned in this book. Read it to affirm what you are already doing, and maybe to provide insights on some other areas that could be tweaked to encourage greater involvement by the men in your church.

But if your church is like the vast majority of churches in the United States, and your congregation consists primarily of women, this book is for you. It is full of practical suggestions (often written in a humorous way) to help men see that following Jesus is not just for women and children.

For example, most men don't mind singing in church, but songs about being held by Jesus, and kissing Him, and Him being our lover will keep most men from singing too boisterously. As Michael Frost has said, Jesus is NOT my boyfriend.

In a similar vein, don't invite men into a "relationship" with Jesus. Such terminology is attractive to women, but men respond better to the more biblical invitation to "follow" Jesus. This is especially true when the dangers and risks of following Jesus are emphasized.

Also, simple things like changing the way the church is decorated can go a long way in showing men that church (and following Jesus) is for them as well.

The book is also full of helpful suggestions on how to evangelize men, how to disciple men, and how to encourage them to take the role of spiritual leader in the home and in the church.

So do you know a man who needs to become a follower of Jesus or take a more active spiritual role? Do you want your church to become more effective at reaching men, making disciples, and raising up leaders? Read this book.

This book is an absolute must for any church where the male population has dwindled or is non existent. It is a great read and very useful in looking at your church from a male perspective.

This book could change the church and the world! Yeah! It's THAT good!A Must Read for every Christian woman and Pastor!!

David Murrow hits the bulls-eye as to why so many men avoid church and even Christianity itself. He graciously but directly points out how many women, often ignorantly, push their male family members and friends away from church and participating in the spiritual aspect of their relationship.

It's not a "beat up on women" book by any means but more of a "This is why your guy doesn't want anything to do with God or church. Here are some of the common mistakes women (and some men) make in their attempts to win the men in their lives to Christ and Christian living. And here's a better, more effective and practical way to go about it."

If many churches would embrace the things Mr. Murrow puts forth in this book, not only would we see record breaking church growth among males I do believe revival would break out across this nation and the world. Yeah, it's that profound!

I found myself stirred and inspired as I read through this wonderful book. I don't know how many times I exclaimed, "That's so true! That's it!!"
Easily a Five Star! Get it! You won't regret it!

We got this to replace one we had already had. It was great to recieve it so fast and I will look forward to buying more.

This book is very informative. It makes alot of sense with regards to praying and hoping for loved ones to come to the lord.

As a woman, I learned a great deal about how men view church, faith, religion, and the world. It is--at the very least--quite an interesting read. At the most, a text from which to learn why your church is unbalanced when it comes to male membership. I recommend this book to anyone seeking understanding of the average man and his response to faith.