How to Work with Just About Anyone: A 3-Step Solution for Getting Difficult People to Change [Paperback]

Lucy Gill (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 20, 1999

THREE SIMPLE STEPS FOR TRANSFORMING YOUR WORKPLACE

Every office has them: the ever-complaining colleague...the co-worker who is constantly late for meetings...the boss who either blows up at you or blows you off...or the one person who drives everyone else totally crazy.

The problem is, the conventional methods -- like repeated warnings, threats, and heartfelt discussions -- for dealing with this negative behavior often don't seem to work. Drawing on a wealth of professional experience as well as forty years of research, Lucy Gill exposes the futility of these common practices and replaces them with a three-step strategy for creating a productive, conflict-free workplace:

1. Get to the heart of the matter by focusing on what the real problem is.

2. Determine what problem-solving methods to avoid so that you don't perpetuate the conflict.

3. Choose a different and even surprising approach that will solve the problem and keep it solved.

Whether you're just starting out in your career or you already have an office along the executive corridor, How to Work with Just About Anyone provides the key to success, satisfaction, and sanity in the workplace.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Jim Kouzes coauthor, The Leadership Challenge; and Chairman, The Tom Peters Group/Learning Systems Delivers on its promise. You'll wish you followed Lucy Gill's three-step process years ago!

Robert M. Bramson, Ph.D. author of the bestselling Coping with Difficult People The methods in this book are unique. It is not a book about how to improve yourself of get along better with others. It is about how to get all those difficult people in your life to be more cooperative. I have used Lucy Gill's model with my clients and it works.

Keith Irwin managing partner, Tanner-Irwin Management consultants This book is a barnburner: with concise, clear examples, simple steps, and no clutter or jargon. Don't let this book get buried on your "self-help" shelf.

Dr. Richard Fisch director and principal investigator of the Brief Therapy Center at MRI, in Palo Alto, CA This book is a little gem. It's deceptive in its simplicity. Lucy Gill has managed to translate very new thinking about complicated problems into language that allows the reader to apply the concepts practically in the business world, and be light-years ahead.

Steven Brown former president of 800-Software Lucy Gill worked as a consultant in my company and produced great results. She used her methods very productively for us, and I am glad she has written How to Work with Just About anyone. Her humorous and conversational style is like having her in my office again, kicking ideas around. This is a great book.

Paul Watzlawick emeritus clinical professor, Stanford University; member of the Mental Research Institute, Palo Alto, CA Anyone who's ever worked with a frustrating person should read this book. Step by step, Lucy Gill shows how to get even "impossible" people to change.

Roland Chazal industrial vice-president, Perrier Vittel, France With humor and subtlety, Lucy Gill offers a practical method for addressing difficult problems and for successfully getting people to change, and gives you the tools and the confidence to find solutions. Using her methods, we effectively and efficiently resolved very tough conflicts in our company.

About the Author

Lucy Gill is an internationally known authority on the prevention and management of difficult and nonproductive behavior, and is a Research Affiliate at the Mental Research Institute of Palo Alto -- the only management consultant to be accorded that status. Her clients include Bank of America, Varian, Rockwell International, TRW, Sun Microsystems, and a number of Silicon Valley start-up companies. She lives in Coulterville, California.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone; Original edition (October 20, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684855275
• ISBN-13: 978-0684855271
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #824,292 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Pretty good, May 8, 2002

By 

Ms Diva "cycworker" (Nanaimo, B.C. Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Work with Just About Anyone: A 3-Step Solution for Getting Difficult People to Change (Paperback)

I read a great deal of personal growth/self help books. This one has some good ideas, but it's not as good as alot of ones I've read. I must admit that Gill is a good, clear writer, and that she obviously understands the underlying theory that her suggestions are based on. She uses alot of examples to illustrate her points. The book is well laid out and easy to follow. I particularly like that it contains a summary of the steps at the end. The author also provides a (too brief) bibliography to give readers a chance to get more information and support in using the techniques presented.

Despite the fact that the book does have good points, and some people will probably find it useful, I didn't find it particularly helpful for me overall (although I did agree with certain points -- notably, the idea that people have a tendency to repeat the same mistakes). It's too short, and I find that the techniques she suggests, which are based on the work of Brief Therapists such as Paul Wazlawick, are too cognitively based -- I have an admitted bias against cognitive behaviourism. In my experience, some of the techniques she suggests are superficial and they don't lead to long term change. They don't get to the root of the issues between people and really allow you to connect and improve the relationship. If you want to do that, this book won't help.

If you just want to get along well enough to achieve a task, and aren't really interested in the long term health of the relationship or achieving true communication, some of the ideas here might work. But this approach deals with the symptoms, it doesn't get to the root of problems. Some would go so far as to say it involves being manipulative -- I'm not sure.

If you have some familiarity with solution focused therapy/thinking, and you generally believe in the benefits of that orientation, you will find this book of value. If, like me, you prefer a more humanistic, person-centred theory, you likely won't get as much out of this book. I'm glad I read it, and I did take a few ideas from it, but I've already put it in my "to give away" bag.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful perspective that you can't find elsewhere, May 29, 2002

By 

"fgermer" (Tampa, FL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Work with Just About Anyone: A 3-Step Solution for Getting Difficult People to Change (Paperback)

Lucy Gill presents a new approach to dealing with problem people at work that is simple, fresh and extremely useful. The bottom line? Stop using the same old methods that don't work for you. If you want to see new results, you've got to employ some of the new tricks put forth here. This book will help you, whether you are stumped on dealing with a boss or employee. If you have ever felt frustrated by a bully, nerd, lightweight, arrogant or some other problem-causing co-worker, then here is your book.

This well-written book is a quick, enjoyable read that will give you more power in those moments when you feel powerless.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Original and practical, May 14, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: How to Work with Just About Anyone: A 3-Step Solution for Getting Difficult People to Change (Paperback)

I recommend this book highly. As an IT manager I can testify to its practical tips for getting to the heart of a difficult situation and resolving it effectively. It's insightful, clever, witty and useful. The techniques presented can provide relief when dealing with a difficult colleague, superior or subordinate. I was particularly impressed with the methodologies for determining what the real problem is, instead of just complaining and "horribleizing." The solutions may well make you laugh, but they work.