34 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Pretty good, May 8, 2002
I read a great deal of personal growth/self help books. This one has some good ideas, but it's not as good as alot of ones I've read. I must admit that Gill is a good, clear writer, and that she obviously understands the underlying theory that her suggestions are based on. She uses alot of examples to illustrate her points. The book is well laid out and easy to follow. I particularly like that it contains a summary of the steps at the end. The author also provides a (too brief) bibliography to give readers a chance to get more information and support in using the techniques presented.
Despite the fact that the book does have good points, and some people will probably find it useful, I didn't find it particularly helpful for me overall (although I did agree with certain points -- notably, the idea that people have a tendency to repeat the same mistakes). It's too short, and I find that the techniques she suggests, which are based on the work of Brief Therapists such as Paul Wazlawick, are too cognitively based -- I have an admitted bias against cognitive behaviourism. In my experience, some of the techniques she suggests are superficial and they don't lead to long term change. They don't get to the root of the issues between people and really allow you to connect and improve the relationship. If you want to do that, this book won't help.
If you just want to get along well enough to achieve a task, and aren't really interested in the long term health of the relationship or achieving true communication, some of the ideas here might work. But this approach deals with the symptoms, it doesn't get to the root of problems. Some would go so far as to say it involves being manipulative -- I'm not sure.
If you have some familiarity with solution focused therapy/thinking, and you generally believe in the benefits of that orientation, you will find this book of value. If, like me, you prefer a more humanistic, person-centred theory, you likely won't get as much out of this book. I'm glad I read it, and I did take a few ideas from it, but I've already put it in my "to give away" bag.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Powerful perspective that you can't find elsewhere, May 29, 2002
Lucy Gill presents a new approach to dealing with problem people at work that is simple, fresh and extremely useful. The bottom line? Stop using the same old methods that don't work for you. If you want to see new results, you've got to employ some of the new tricks put forth here. This book will help you, whether you are stumped on dealing with a boss or employee. If you have ever felt frustrated by a bully, nerd, lightweight, arrogant or some other problem-causing co-worker, then here is your book.
This well-written book is a quick, enjoyable read that will give you more power in those moments when you feel powerless.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Original and practical, May 14, 2001
By A Customer
I recommend this book highly. As an IT manager I can testify to its practical tips for getting to the heart of a difficult situation and resolving it effectively. It's insightful, clever, witty and useful. The techniques presented can provide relief when dealing with a difficult colleague, superior or subordinate. I was particularly impressed with the methodologies for determining what the real problem is, instead of just complaining and "horribleizing." The solutions may well make you laugh, but they work.
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