Most Helpful Customer Reviews
96 of 99 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Very Basic, June 15, 2001
This book will probably be helpful if you want an easy-to-read guide to the very basics of networking and socializing. She lays out intuitive, easy-to-follow lists of rules and principles, such as how some of the manners you were taught as a child can become obstacles to meeting people, like, don't talk to strangers. And she perscribes some easy-to-remember, non-threatening tactics for overcoming these fears, such as questions like "I've never been to one of these meetings before. Is there always such a good turnout?" But I found that most of her major points were fairly common sense. Is it really that helpful to know that arrogance, not listening and poor hygiene will impair your ability to meet people? Or that you should bring business cards to a professional event? If you feel your social skills are really at ground zero and you need help getting started, this will be a useful guide. But if you're looking for more advanced techniques and ideas for to engage people and loosening yourself up, it's way too easy. It certainly didn't change my life. I'm now reading Bernardo Carducci's book, "Shyness". It has a much more theoretical and holistic approach--I'll post a review on that book's page as soon as I finish it.
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
It helped me., May 30, 2001
By A Customer
I considered myself an introverted computer scientist. I ordered this and Carducci's book at the same time, looking forward more to Carducci's book. Fortunately this book arrived first, so I gave it a chance.
Don't misconstrue the title; it is not at all a book on manipulating others.
The first chapter --the introduction-- reads like an annoying motor-mouth oratory from Joan Rivers. Persist. Don't be concerned about how you're going to hold an entire book's worth of advice in your head while conversing because you won't need to; it pertains more to pre-schmooze preparation. (In contrast, Carducci's book focuses more on real-time details of conversation.) I've only read through chapter three and have not had time to get to the rest of it because I've been socializing! I kid you not! Sound too good to be true? Bet you don't have as many doubts as I did. Try it. Some of the later chapters are on special situations (airplanes, trade shows, e-mail, etcetera); paging through those I found some pearls, so I look forward to finishing it.
These are light, easy tips that analytical left-brain guys can follow. I read that the author also teaches seminars, but who needs that? Just get the book. You are already on the right track for considering it. There is probably a LOT less "wrong" with you than you might think, and this book is a fast, easy way to become the more sociable person that you want to become.
Amazingly, there is virtually no overlap between this book and Carducci's. Carducci's book is more aimed at micro-details of what to talk about, very elementary. I think the best book in this category is "Lifeskills for Adult Children" by the late Janet Woititz and Alan Garner; it begins with an excellent section on starting and maintaining conversations.
This book is light reading. Try it!
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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Unfocused, December 8, 2002
This book contains 18 chapters. Of those, I'd say some 5 are filled with the information you'd expect. The book actually starts of quite well, analyzing the reasons why people have difficulties mingling and what to do about them. This part of the book really helped me overcome some of my shyness and move out to people. And that certainly made life easier and more fun! However, I wished there would've been more of this and less of the rest. After that the book seems to go all over the place. Chatrooms, Etiquette, public speaking, Yiddish dictionary, general life philosophy... you name it! My advice: try some other books first.
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