Customer Reviews

How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend: The Classic Training Manual for Dog Owners (Revised & Updated Edition)

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"How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend" is an excellent reference book for the first time dog owner and trainer. As well as the normal chapters on how to choose, socialise, feed, groom and train a puppy, the Monks cover topics as varied as how to read a puppy's pedigree, how to massage your dog, and how your dog's living environment will impact upon his training needs.

Unlike many training manuals, the Monks of New Skete strike a nice balance between "dominance" based training methods and formal training. The Monks stress the importance of earning your dog's trust and respect and the importance of being a strong pack leader for your dog; they also recognise the need for formal training, and spend several chapters explaining how this is best accomplished. Most training books are heavily biased towards one or other method, so it is nice to read a book which realises that both are ingredients in successful dog training.

The training methods discussed are fairly traditional, with the Monks either luring or gently moulding the dog into shape, then praising. However they also advocate classically conditioning a positive reinforcer (keys jingling), which can then be used at strategic times to help a dog relax; and they do discuss and recommend clicker methods for "sensitive" dogs.

Contrary to some reviews posted below, the Monks of New Skete do in fact advocate using plenty of positive reinforcement in their training. Confusion on this issue probably stems from the fact that the Monks do not advocate constantly using food treats while training. However, food treats are not the only positive reinforcement method available to a trainer. As the Monks point out "Food treats are an extremely effective motivator to help dogs learn...however, they are not meant to replace sincere verbal and physical praise." The Monks advocate that puppies are regularly praised, petted and played with during training. Punishment only ever comes after a dog has been shown an exercise multiple times and fully understands what is required of it, and far from being harsh or abusive, is normally limited to stern eye contact or a verbal growl. Scruff shakes and chin cuffs are reserved for the worst transgressions. The Monks take care to emphasise that any punishment used should be immediate, fair and consistent.

There are certainly gaps in this book. The "Problem Solving" section is rudimentary at best (for example, the section on interdog aggression only recommends limiting the dog's opportunity to mark territory, desexing him and muzzling him!). Readers with a problem dog would be well advised to get some more indepth resources regarding their dog's particular problem. The obedience exercises covered are quite limited, covering only the sit, down, stay, heel and recall. Owners wishing to teach their dogs more advanced exercises will need to seek additional resources. It is also disappointing that the Monks only discuss one method of teaching each exercise. With the plethora of options available today to teach even something as simple as a sit - for example, shaping, luring, capturing - it is a pity the Monks did not discuss several options for training each behaviour.

Despite such flaws, "How to be your Dog's Best Friend" is one of the three training books I generally recommend to new dog owners (the other two are "The Other End of the Leash" by Patricia McConnell and "The Culture Clash" by Jean Donaldson). These three books complement each other very well. "The Other End of the Leash" is a great primer on canine-human communication, whereas "The Culture Clash" is an excellent manual on operant conditioning-based positive training. "How to Be your Dog's Best Friend" both fills in important gaps left by the other two books, and puts the case for kind and fair "traditional" style training.

Our dog Cadfael, a 190-pound English Mastiff, is a great example of what the Monks' training can do for a dog and his owners. He is our first dog and _Best Friend_ came through for us time and time again. While I read many books about dogs before Cadfael came to live with us, the Monks' book and _Dogs for Dummies_ proved the most helpful both in practical and philosophical matters. I also recommend the Monks' book on puppies and their videos.

I think one of the most important services the Monks offer to future dog owners is their attitude that the dog represents a major, major commitment on your part, in terms of time, money and emotional involvement. If you are not willing to invest in the dog, you will shortchange the relationship on all levels. The relationship will suffer. We feel this is particularly true in the case of a dog that is expected to spend most of his time outdoors. The monks are right: if you want an animal to live outdoors in a pen, get a cow or sheep or chicken that has not been bred to be social with human beings.

From the very beginning, before we brought Cadfael home as an 8-week-old, 18-pound puppy, we incorporated the lessons in this book. We followed the monks' advice as far as finding the right breed for us and the right breeder. We bought our supplies well in advance, including the enormous crate (which we used for the first year). We both took vacations so that we could be with him constantly for the first three weeks or so, to focus on housetraining and socialization. From how to keep a dog from jumping up on you (who wants a dog who's taller than you and outweighs you by 60 pounds jumping on you?), to providing the right toys so the dog won't be interested in chewing the wrong things, to keeping the dog quiet at night, the monks were there with the answers.

We like how the monks encourage you to get physicial with your dog, even giving massages. Cadfael loves that. He lets us clean his ears, clip his nails and brush his teeth, too, because, as the monks suggested, we started all these activities very early on. He is so accustomed to being bathed that he just stands there and lets him soap him down and rinse him off. (Have to do that outside, because there's no way he'd fit in the tub.)He is a pleasure at the vet's, too. He has been so used to being handled that it makes the doctor's work much, much easier.

The monks stress the importance of training, and my husband and I cannot agree more. The monks do a great job explaining how to train the basics: sit, stay, come, heel, lie down. While we did a lot of home training, we also enrolled Cadfael in a series of obedience classes, as well as allow him as much social interaction as possible. We can walk Cadfael on a busy city street and not worry. We can leave him in the car in appropriate weather and know that he will be all right. We can let him off the lead on a trail and know that he will come back when we call. We can have fun playing ball with him because he will fetch the ball and drop it on command. We can take him to an outdoor restaurant and trust him to sit under our table while we eat lunch.

One of the reviewers I read seems to have real problems with the discipline tactics the monks employ. We used both the shakedown and, once or twice, the alpha wolf rollover. Neither is about hurting the dog physically or mentally; used with proper timing and drama, they are designed to immediately get your dog's attention and let him know that whatever he's doing is a definite no-no. They are designed to let your dog know you are in charge. And, regarding the reviewer's claims that the monks are indiscriminate in their discipline, here's what the monks themselves have to say about the alpha wolf rollover: "Let us note that many dogs may never need such physical discipline. But if you have a dog that does, it seems better to administer discipline effectively and meaningfully once, rather than dozens of times in an ineffective way." Amen!

The monks are quick to point out the fact that a dog is not a person and certainly not a child. But a good dog is a wonderful companion whom you want to have around and who wants to be around you. It is up to the dog's owners to work with him and provide him with the things he needs to make him a good dog.

Well, Cadfael has turned six, and it is time to go back to the breeder to get a friend for him. Our breeder tells us she will have puppies this spring. So I'd better get reading and get the crate out of storage!

My wife and I first used this book in 1980 with our first German Shepherd, a beautiful, gentle and easy to train dog despite strong alpha characteristics. We've given away many copies because it is about so much more than training. The monks have worked with each of our German Shepherds but their approach works with other breeds. Yes, there is a section on physical discipline but there is also a stern caution. This book deserves to read as a whole. We've read it and re-read it over the years, most recently on the death last week at 14 of a great, sensitive and intelligent old girl who was a loyal companion every day of her life. We used the monks excellent puppy book with our other dog, an aging male GSD, and soon it will be time for it again as another companion enters our home. Monks? Dogs? Religion? Don't worry about it. There's nothing to offend anyone. New Skete takes its religious life very seriously, but they are not intrusive. On the other hand, if you drink beer but won't drink the best beer in Belgium because Trappist monks brew it, then you probably won't buy this book and don't deserve a great dog anyway.

Don't let the bad reviews scare you... this book is too valuable to allow yourself to be dissuaded by politically-correct morons who take the monk's ideas out of context. Truly, every bad review I have read on Amazon completely overstate and misrepresent the monk's ideas on physical discipline. The monks do NOT advocate beating your dog. They also ONLY support physical discipline for SEVERE transgressions, such as violent behavior by the dog or serious household destruction, NOT as a way to teach your dog to sit or stay. Also, they are very specific about how to use physical discipline, which is helpful... for instance, they say you should never use an object to hit your dog, you should never hit a dog from behind or above, and in fact you shouldn't need to hit your dog unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, when other methods fail. Physical discipline is NOT a first recourse for the monks.

Having said that, they also try to emphasize (in a very helpful way) that a dog is not a person! All too often, people anthropomorphize their dogs. They are DOGS! The monks understand the animal that is a dog, and try to have this understanding be as independent as possible from humanity, aside from the human-dog relationship. Therefore, dogs expect a certain degree of physical discipline that is entirely appropriate (look at how a mother disciplines her pups) which MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR HUMANS! Do not mistake dogs for people... the monks are not suggesting that you use physical discipline on your children!

You may well find an effective approach that does not involve physical discipline... which is fine. According to the monks, however, this only serves to alleviate your own HUMAN feelings of guilt. The monks simply believe that physical discipline is appropriate and non-cruel when done appropriately and with a high level of respect for the dog.

As far as the rest of the book goes, it is a complete tome of all aspects of the human-dog relationship. Even if you don't agree with physical discipline, there is no other more complete book touching on each subject. Do not deprive yourself of this excellent overview of dog raising. The monks may not go into many details for some of the subjects, but they provide an extensive list for further reading on specific subjects, which is much appreciated. All in all, an outstanding reference book. Highly recommended to anyone to read cover-to-cover before even getting a dog, regardless of your agreement with them on all issues.

I have had German Shepherds all my life, but that is not why I recommend this wonderful book from The Monks of New Skete. This is a fabulous book about dogs and having a great one--it's not by accident! Over the years I have given this book to many friends who were getting puppies.

The Monks are quite insightfull. Their techniquies and more importantly their approach to dogs is the best. If you want more than just a dog--you want a companion (man's best friend), then follow their advice and you will have just that.

If I were to buy only 1 book on selecting, training, having a dog companion, this would certainly be that book!

I have used this book to train all types of family pets, both puppies and adults, from Golden Retrievers to Wolf Hybrids and it works! My friends refer to me as "the Dog Lady" because I always seem to have some tip to help with their dog's training. It's no secret that I get it all from this wonderful book. With insight into the canine psyche that is years ahead of its time, the monks help the dog owner understand the mind of the dog. The section on discipline is tempered with a word of caution, and encourages you to take your cue from your dog -- excellent advice. They are also decades ahead of their time in suggesting Vitamin B complex as "behavioral insurance," making the early connection between vitamin supplementation, good diet, and behavior. With the focus on human brain development and vitamin supplementation in the media these days, its amazing that the monks were making this connection with dogs more than 20 years ago. A must read for all dog owners.

This book is full of great advice. Some of it will be of use for all dogs, and all of it will be of use for some dogs. Please, don't be put off by other reviewers that felt the methods advocated by the book are too harsh. Use your judgement and choose the methods and tools provided by the book that fit the situation and the dog.

I've owned dogs most of my life. I have owned and showed Bouviers -- large, powerful dogs. Some were gentle, some were timid giants, and some were strong and bold. This book is my favorite, and years ago it helped turn around the family/pack dynamics between us and Kassi a young, very strong Bouvier. We might have had to get rid of her because she was starting to develop serious dominance problems, but in the end, after having to resort to every trick in this book, Kassi settled down and accepted her place in the family (the pack from her perspective) and became the most remarkable dog I've ever owned. She went on to become a champion in the show ring, but more importantly she became a steady, trusted companion that traveled to my wife's office with her every day. Rascal, Quincy, Poca, and Yena (the others) all have their own personalities, and none of them required the "scruff shake" as Kassi did, but Kassi was always our favorite -- a loving, affectionate, wonderful family dog full of personality, yet completely fearless and in control in every situation.

If you have more than one dog, or a large dog, or you don't want your dog sleeping on the sofa or intimidating your guests or barking at your neighbor's children or growling over the food bowl, it will be necessary to understand dog psychology and communication. This book really will help you become your dog's best friend. Every dog is different, and there are a number of good books on dogs so I wouldn't make any one book my only book on dogs, but don't pass this one up.

Many people assume dogs experience the world the same way humans do- and the Monks do a great job of teaching a potential owner how to see things from the dog's point of view.

Much of the current criticism of the techniques in this book stem from 1. misuse of the correction techniques they outline and 2. the current popularity of "non- coercive" methods of training.

If you have a mild mannered pet, you might get away with never correcting your dog, but working dogs- like the kind the Monks are raising- thrive (and in the real world, survive) best in a disciplined environment. I think they make this abundantly clear, and I don't see how any reasonable person could extrapolate that they advocate abusing dogs.

They also repeatedly advise getting involved in local obedience classes, which will help with timing and techniques, and for getting a professional involved if there's any chance of getting in over your head.

Altogether, this is a book based on hands-on experience with a lot of dogs and their owners, and it displays a remarkable sensitivity to a dog's mind.

I was privileged to meet and work with Job Michael Evans, co-author of How To Be Your Dog's Best Friend, approximately ten years after this book was published.

By that time he had moved to New York City and begun his own Dog Owner Counseling business. He said if he could change anything in the book, it would be the chapter on discipline.

At the time the book was written, there was little to nothing in written form on HOW TO DISCIPLINE YOUR DOG. The Monks of New Skete were breaking new ground. Copying what a mother dog would do to it's pup for discipline was a concept that was embraced by many dog trainers. The draw backs were discovered as time passed.

The fact that it was freely and openly discussed in hindsight only reinforces the integrity of the authors and their genuine desire to understand, communicate, have compassion for and communion with their dogs and encourage others to do discover this as well.

The wealth of excellent information in the rest of the chapters far outweighs the questions of discipline techniques, and for that reason, I would recommend this book to anyone who owns a dog and especially to someone getting a dog for the first time.

I am astounded at the number of negative reviews of this book that blithely ignore what's actually in it. As others have stated, the recommendations to hit a dog come with plenty of warnings and caveats that it only be done in extreme situations and only if you're comfortable doing it and only if that's how you chose to deal with some specific, serious problem your dog may have. They never, ever recommend hitting a dog for say, simply refusing to come, the way some of these reviews make it seem.

Also, many people keep harping on the Alpha Dog Roll. Here's what the 2002 edition states, verbatim: "(in italics) We no longer recommend this technique and strongly discourage its use to our clients. Though it can be argued that it has a natural basis in pack life, in a dog-human context it is potentially very dangerous and can set up the owner for a serious bite on the face (or worse), particularly with a dominant dog. The conditions in which it might be used effectively are simply too risky and demanding for the average dog owner; there are other ways of dealing with problem behavior that are much safer and, in the long run, just as effective.
Let us repeat: the disciplinary techniques explained in this section should not be applied haphazardly and for a slight misbehavior. There is always the chance that autocratic dog ownders, having learned discipline techniques, will misuse them. Watch yourself - owners whe are physically or verbally domineering wind up with cringing, neurotic dogs. Discipline, like praise, must be meaningful. It must communicate the owner's displeasure clearly, and on the dog's level of understanding and perception, for unacceptable behavior."