How to Be Your Own Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide to Taking Back Your Life [Paperback]

Patricia Farrell (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 5, 2004

How to Be Your Own Therapist provides tools to replace unhealthy behaviors with actions for satisfaction and success. Drawing from her 20 years as a licensed therapist, Dr. Patricia Farrell has developed an approach to help individuals manage their own lives by reclaiming their personal power. Her "power tools" include how to:

• Fire one's parents
• Quit whining
• Make lots of mistakes
• Stick up for oneself

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

Before you decide that you need therapy, do a self-evaluation with the help of this book and be sure to read my chapter on how you should interview any therapist and the questions you should ask.  This book is intended to help you make your way through life with the skills and new knowledge provided here first.  My approach has always been a conservative one with an emphasis on self-help and skill building and that's exactly what I hope this book does achieve for you.  You are stronger than you know, more skilled and you can begin to re-direct your life in new ways with a little guidance and practice on your own.

I've tried to incorporate the knowledge I've acquired over my 30 years in the profession in a variety of setting.  With this in mind, I set out to provide chapters to address many of the areas where I believed people could help themselves.  One thing about which I had become quite aware was the lack of information about who to select if you need therapy, what to expect, what questions you may have and why they need to be answered.  It's my effort to get rid of the "one up-one down" relationship I've seen in too many settings.  You are a consumer and you're purchasing a service.  You're not a supplicant coming to ask for favors from a superior being.

From the Inside Flap

From the Jacket:

As countless people have discovered, the help of a professional psychotherapist in the face of life's challenges can be an effective, even transformative process. In certain situations, it is the most appropriate choice. But for many, there is another, virtually overlooked option: you may be best equipped to be your own therapist. In this insightful, innovative, and exceptionally honest book, Dr. Patricia Farrell draws from her twenty years as a licensed therapist to show you how to heal yourself--more rapidly, more permanently, and certainly less expensively.

Whether or not you choose to seek professional help, in confronting and exploring your personal issues, you embark on a journey to the center of yourself. And the fact is that you know your own emotional terrain better than anyone on this earth. What you really need is a tour guide, and the right tools for your journey. The accessible, step-by-step approach in How To Be Your Own Therapist enables you to develop the innate skills to face a lifetime of challenges--without creating the dependency that is so often a result of traditional therapy.

Shared here are the techniques and exercises Dr. Farrell uses to promote successful results in her own patients--patients whom she quickly enables to move into independent problem-solving action. After determining, with the help of this book, whether self-therapy is right for you, you will be prepared to discover--and utilize--the ten practical tools that will help you make the changes you want in your life. These highly effective "power tools" include how to:

Open Your Eyes and Face Reality
Make Lots of Mistakes
Act Like the Person You Want to Be
Fire Your Parents
Accept Yourself, Warts and All

Also included are dozens of proven self-assessment tests, compelling case studies, and helpful symptom-identification sidebars to help you gain a new understanding of therapy--and of your own ability to find a renewed, healthier, more powerful self.

SELF-HELP TOOLS FOR A LIFETIME OF CHALLENGES

This innovative, highly effective book is for anyone who wants to replace unhealthy behaviors with actions that bring satisfaction and success--quickly, permanently, and with or without the guidance of a professional therapist. Through her work with over 20,000 patients, Dr. Patricia Farrell has developed an approach that will enable you to manage your own life by reclaiming your power to overcome obstacles and influence outcome--even in the face of life's greatest challenges. Here are the proven techniques and exercises Dr. Farrel uses to help her patients move into independent problem-solving action, including:

10 tools to help you make the changes you want in your life
Quick Fixes to immediately transform intention into action
Proven self-assessment tests
Compelling case studies
Helpful symptom-identification sidebars

...and much more to help you get unstuck from life's problems and ready to embark on a happier, more well-adjusted future. --This text refers to the Perfect Paperback edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (April 5, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071433651
• ISBN-13: 978-0071433655
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #825,087 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

A native New Yorker, I grew up in Queens, received my education initially from nuns in grade school and then on to the NY City school system for high school and college (Queens, of course) and then on to NYU for both my MA and Ph.D. degrees in psychology. I will be forever grateful to NYC because it gave me an almost free college education, something that is no longer offered. I, thankfully, was in the last class to receive such a wonderful benefit which made college possible for me.

I'm the Moderator of WebMD's Anxiety/Panic Board. Licensed psychologist in NJ and Florida, I have experience in just about every area of mental health, having worked in community mental health, psychiatric research (Alzheimer's research), private practice, EAP programs, nursing homes, psychiatric hospitals, trained police officers and I've taught on the college level for over 20 years. I've also consulted to pharmaceutical and communications firms. You'll probably see me on TV, in magazines and perhaps the newspaper because I do have opinions on a number of topics and I express them. Read anything I've written and you'll know what I mean.

You can also find videos of some of my appearances on TV (The Today Show, AC360) on YouTube and other video sites. I do have a Channel on YouTube (http://bit.ly/m6dkhx) where you can see films I've made and appearances. There's also my website (http://www.drfarrell.net) where I offer free information, downloads, show documentary videos and, as they say, much, much more, and it's all because I believe in giving back to the community. As Rose Kennedy has been quoted to have said, "To those who have been given much, much is expected."

I provide continuing education for professionals and I have a new CE, for healthcare professionals, on MS and the cognitive changes as well as the causes, the nervous system involvement and the role of exercise is now available on-line from Behavioralhealthcare.com at: http://bit.ly/mSggnE The CE is approved for continuing education credit by major national professional organizations and includes graphics and links to related videos.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Packed full of self-assessments and sound clinical advice., May 15, 2003

By 

Tim McMahon (Lincoln, RI United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Be Your Own Therapist : A Step-by-Step Guide to Taking Back Your Life (Perfect Paperback)

Reviewed by:
Timothy E. McMahon, M.S.
Principal Web Developer
The McMahon Group
www.mcmahonco.com

For the second year in a row, my youngest sister, husband, and two children missed my youngest child's birthday. I was furious at their whole family for being so callous and intentionally rude. My daughter Olivia is only two so missing this birthday meant they had missed every birthday party Olivia had ever had. The whole situation was beyond exasperating.

About the time this birthday soap opera was playing out, I was asked to review Patricia Farrell's new book How to Be Your Own Therapist. Now, because of the volume of books I receive for evaluation, I typically don't review books in this genre. However, something about the book's title, its author, the subject matter, and the birthday situation seemed to flow neatly together in time and space. I try not to ignore those types of events. As it turns out, I am quite happy this confluence occurred - glad in fact that events caused me to read this work when otherwise I may have declined the offer.

When I received Dr. Farrell's book I began moving through the work chapter by chapter as I would any other book I review. However, early on, the author points out that this is a resource to be used like any other tool you might employ: on an as needed basis. So, with this in mind I started again to go through the book. This time however, I began looking for tools that might help me assess my own actions in the birthday party melodrama specifically and with the relationship I have with my sister in general. Chapter 4: Open Your Eyes and Face Reality seemed like a good place to start. Here Farrell points out a trap that so many of us fall into - skewed reality. She notes, "In today's world, it's become far too common for people to buy into the idea that reality is whatever you want it to be." As she does throughout the whole work, Dr. Farrell provides her personal insight into the topic, a brief case study, some thoughts on "why the old ways don't work", and an assessment tool that helps the reader to identify and create new methods for problem solving: Facing reality in this case.

I've found that working through some of the book's text and exercises has been useful in the recent birthday situation. As the process goes on over time, it's easy to see how other areas of my life can also be positively impacted by Farrell's methodology of self-help.

Packed full of self-assessments and sound clinical advice, Dr. Patricia Farrell has put together a well thought out self-management methodology for people like you and me. Her book and all of the tools therein, allow the reader to take a step back from our everyday activities and turn our thoughts inward toward ourselves.

Patricia Farrell's book How to Be Your Own Therapist lays out a roadmap taking the reader through some of the most common myths of modern psychology, to firing your parents, facing reality, the power of our own counsel and finally to her parting wish for us to live authentic, powerful, and joyful lives. This is a compelling book full of sound experienced advice and is well worth the read.

--- Reviewed by
Timothy E. McMahon, M.S.
[e-mail]

28 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars There are better self-help books out there, March 8, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: How to Be Your Own Therapist : A Step-by-Step Guide to Taking Back Your Life (Perfect Paperback)

This book contains some good advice, but it has some problems.

Chapter 6 -- all twenty pages of it -- is about whining. Does the subject really require such a lengthy treatment? By the end of the chapter, I felt like shouting, "OK, OK -- whining is bad. We get it."

Besides wordiness, the book has some other problems. Some of the advice is a bit bizarre. Farrell has a strange aversion to white lies, of the type where you tell your grandmother that you absolutely LOVE the tie that she gave you for your birthday (when, in fact, the tie is hideous). My feeling is that if everyone always told the truth, then society would collapse in about 15 seconds flat.

Some very important subjects are also missing from this book -- subjects like drug and alcohol abuse. Surely, addiction is a very common problem among people who seek out therapy.

Still, some of Farrell's advice is helpful. I was particularly impressed with her critique of her own profession (i.e., therapist). It's time that people realized that therapists have their flaws, too -- and that you can learn to heal yourself rather than depending on a professional.

Overall, potential readers would do well to shop around for other self-help books. This one does have some value to it, but it's a mixed bag.

14 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Your best friend in life should be yourself, December 17, 2002

By 

Teresa Guckin (Phila, PA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Be Your Own Therapist : A Step-by-Step Guide to Taking Back Your Life (Perfect Paperback)

This is the best self-help book that I have ever read. Don't get me wrong some people may need the help of doctors, but this book brings you to the realization that many of your own problems you can solve yourself. It doesn't try to rush you along with anything you read, and it goes through each exercise step by step allowing you the freedom to grow and expand your own horizons. This book reinforces the concept that no one knows you like yourself, but many of us can use some guidance along the way and this book provides the insight and tools.

Terri Guckin, Ph.D.