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Howie Weener Unclogged: A Colonic Noir Musical Memoir [Kindle Edition]

Howie Weiner
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $2.99

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Book Description

A human sloth finds himself at the center of a battle between the conventional, and alternative health industries. His journey includes hypnotherapy, yoga, and flossing. Howie Weener Unclogged is loaded with intrigue, murder, romance, and yes, colonics.

Product Details

  • File Size: 339 KB
  • Print Length: 177 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: BookBaby; 1 edition (January 15, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00B2O2UYW
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,314,172 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How to Make Colonic Cleaning Wacky and Amusing July 2, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
The title of Howie Weener's book, Unclogged, a Colonic Noir of Musical Memoirs should have warned me what was coming, but I blithely ignored it and jumped in fully armed with ignorance. I thought I was going to read about how many ways you can have a colonic cleansing. There are many, by the way...far too many. I once had to write 100 articles on it and I learned more than I ever wanted to know.

However, nothing I ever read prepared me for the absolutely hilarious slapstick, intelligently funny book that Howie wrote. I never knew what "eye candy" was until I started reading this ridiculous book. I could read Unclogged over and over and over and never tire of it. I laughed all the way through. I promise you this, I do NOT want to ever know how much was true.

Based on a young man who apparently ate too much of the wrong things, his life was, in a word, crap. Someone recognized this and hauled him off to CCLEEEEN where he began his journey of meeting people dedicated to the honor of being unclogged. How he went through the process was something anyone with a sense of humor should read. Anybody should read it, for that matter. Get this brook, pass it around to your mother, father, sister, brother and etc. Do not talk about it at the dinner table though, unless someone you know needs their armpits unclogged; it's in there.

I don't know what Weener does for a living other than write, but he is a phenomenally funny writer. His book would make a wonderful play. I wanted to put some of his writing in this review, but I decided not to. It could spoil the fun. Meet the people who are in his story because his characterization was so hysterically unique that made it easy to adore both the good guys and the bad guys.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read and Extremely Funny! February 4, 2013
By Joe M.
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book grabs you and will not let go. The author paints a vivid picture of a 35 year old New Yorker who moves from his endless NYC party scene into the mysterious and dangerous world of cleansing. There is a magnificent bounty of original humor, as well as a hysterical cast of characters, that will keep you laughing from beginning to end. I look forward to seeing the movie!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fun & Clever Read January 31, 2013
By Gina B
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A fun & clever read about an every day guy caught up in a world of murder, double crossing & colonics ;) Reminded me of "A Confedarcy of Dunces" the way everything comes full circle & all is revealed at the end. Worth the read and will have you turning the page as fast as you can to see who is who and what is what!
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Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is an immensely entertaining book that is humorous, full of surprises, and at times, unexpectedly and extraordinarily insightful! Somewhere between the many clever references, engaging mix of quirky characters, and creative twists and turns in the story, you may find yourself asking if you too need a bit serious unclogging! I look forward to seeing more from this bold, astute, and ingenious author! Highly recommended!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Laughter is the best medicine June 23, 2013
By J. Levy
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I suppose I should make this disclaimer right up front: I know Howie Weiner. And you, sir, are no Howie Weiner! Wait, that was from a debate I had recently with another author. I'm glad I bought Howie's book. I'm even more glad that I read it. It is hysterically funny. But then again, I can hear Howie's voice as I'm reading it. Not that his voice is necessarily funny (he's no Joe Pesci), but his words, his words are superb. The usage, the spelling, the choice, the arrangement of those words are what makes this book well worth your time. Even dyslexics will want this book (okay, maybe the audio version). I will stand this book up against any I've read in recent years (even though I read it lying down) as one of the best and funniest. Truth be told, I read it on my Kindle so I can't really stand it up against the other books in my library, but you know what I mean. Howie and I were in a sketch comedy group together in NYC (sneaky the way you got some of those references in there, Howie. I laughed in that knowing way that others may have a hard time with, but why quibble?) Quibble - that's a good Scrabble word. Where was I? Oh yeah. Anyone who reads this book will agree, I think, that it is worth their time and their money. My time, for this review at least, is over. My money, well, that's none of your business. Well done, Howie Weiner!
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More About the Author

Howie Weiner was born in New York City, grew up in Commack, Long Island, and now lives in Los Angeles, CA. He received a BFA in Creative Writing and Literature at Emerson College in Boston, MA. He graduated from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in Tarzana, CA.

He picked up valuable lessons from his numerous jobs/careers over his lifetime which all contributed to the making of Howie Weener Unlogged. Stand up Comedy, Hypnotherapist, Tour Guide, Sketch Comedy, Advertising, Movie Theater Usher, Background Artist (Extra) are just a few.

As a certified hypnotherapist, he started his own company, Victory Hypnosis, where he helped hundreds of people quit smoking, lose weight, and overcome fears. A world of alternative health had opened up, and he dove in, mind and body.

He is currently working on his new book and producing a very funny web series.


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