Customer Reviews

Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids

5 star:		(20)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I chose this book due to a rave review in a mommy blog I read and the five star reviews here on Amazon, and had high hopes for some "creative" ways to improve our monogamous, post-baby sex life. I am, apparently, the only disappointed reader so far.

In the introduction, Kimberly (I can't seem to call her Mrs. Ford after having read so much about her personal life) uses the word F**K more times than I have seen in print, ever. There is a chapter on vibrators, and the clear opinion that EVERYONE needs one, or rather MANY, on hand for all intimate moments. Having used one, I can say with experience, "Yes, they have a place." But so does a husband who takes the time to learn just what to do, and does it.

Another chapter discusses pornography as a way of spicing up your marriage. I am sad to say I know more than a few wives whose husbands are addicted to pornography and it has damaged their marriage, and their intimacy, irreparably. Kimberly is not advocating pornography as an addiction, but I doubt these men intended it that way at the beginning. I think it would take a strong man to only view with his wife, and therein lies the problem.

A couple of useful chapters, if you know little about your own body, are the ones on "self exploration" and the one on masturbation. The chapter on vasectomies (Snip) and abortion (Snap) were mostly well done. But the chapters on bikini waxing as a way to "improve sensation" and the one on "pleasure parties" and her experience with a professional lap dancer were more than a little strange.

I appreciate her honesty, and her sense of humor. But, I guess I was looking for something different. I personally am not comfortable with using pornography (I have watched in the past, and it isn't my thing.) I have no desire to learn to lap or pole dance, and I don't have girl friends with whom I am comfortable practicing, and I don't find a drawer of various vibrators necessary, personally.

So, if you are looking for fun stories about married "mommy sex", this may be for you. If you are looking for practical advice on how to improve sex and intimacy with your husband, keep looking.

As evidenced by the first line of the book (not printable here?), this is a great book for husbands. It's not quite Dave Barry, but there are some definite "laughed so hard I couldn't speak" moments here. Whether it was the experiences with Zing Cream, the chapter about not getting "snipped", couples are creating "private time", or one couple's "top 10 reasons to have sex", I found myself laughing out loud over and over and over again.
Everyone knows that a healthy sex life makes for a better marriage and happier partners, but most of the time the only advice we get is "you gotta schedule it". I found HUMP to be about all the interesting, creative, and very very funny ways that a group of real people bring sexuality into the daily (and nightly) craziness of parenthood.
About 10 years ago, Paul Reiser (remember the TV show Mad About You w/ Helen Hunt?) wrote a hilarious but G-rated book called "Parenthood". This is the R-rated version . . . and it's probably funnier and more meaningful at the same time.
The only thing that's missing from this book? We need an Afterword to explain how that one guy can tell when his wife is ovulating. That's a talent we all need!

Full disclosure: I know Kimberly and admire her writing, appreciate her sense of humor, and am moved by kindness to friends, family, and people in need. Which, perhaps, is why it's even more fun to pick up this book and read about how naughty she and her friends can be in the bedroom. Full of great advice, honesty, and hilarious misadventures, HUMP is a book you want to read -- whether to spice up your sex life or to get some new ideas for an already active libido. But the book isn't facile. There's a lot of hurt and emotion and elbows and knees here as well. If you haven't read it yet, you're lucky -- you have a treat in store (just don't drink soda while you're reading. You're apt to laugh so hard you'll snort it out your nose!)

There is a lot more to this book than meets the eye, and that is why I enjoyed it. Yes, sex is the unifying theme, which is certainly a great hook, but it's really just one element and if you are looking for a simple manual then a) God help you and b) there are probably better choices. To me, this book was like a fascinating anthropological study of cultures I am not completely familiar with including people with Ivy League educations, who go to church, have wildly successful careers, and possess the ability to communicate openly about their sexuality not only with their spouses, but also broadly with their friends. The people in this book are who the good, smart kids grew up to be- and you have to remember that not so long ago "good" kids didn't publicly proclaim their love of sex- especially women. I don't relate to many of the life experiences written here, but I love reading about them, and I do relate to the shared reverence for sex. I think it may be a little intimidating for some though. Indeed, the author possesses a libido which may intimidate some female readers, while male readers may find themselves saying "THAT'S what I'm talking about". But at some point you realize what makes Kim Ford truly a freak is her ability to regularly start her day at 4AM so she can claim some "me-time" in more ways than one. We all want to- but she DOES it- and this too is thematic. So as a vehicle for advancing dialogue about sex in the wake of a newborn, it didn't work. However, as a source of inspiring ideas, it was well worth it. Specifically: buy a vibrator. A good one. Immediately. The book also helped me realize the role sex plays as a way of connecting with your spouse on very adult terms. If the bulk of your relationship with each other is based on reviewing the latest developments of your children, then you may be missing out on the bonding that takes place when you relate to each other like only adults can, and I think that may be the bigger message of the book. The book will encourage you to go to the edge of your taboos and step over the line, but only touches on the very common experience of getting smashed together as foreplay, not to mention a complete lack of reference to the intense bonding and mind-blowing sex that can come with common, but illegal, substances- too taboo I suppose. If you are the kind of voyeuristic guy that likes to sneak a look at Cosmo to find out what exactly is included in the "172 New Sex Moves that will have him scraping his brains off the ceiling" article, but wish the article was actually interesting and more intelligent, then you'll like this book.

Sex in a post-children world can be infrequent, stressful, and unfamiliar. It can also be energizing, stress relieving, and a source of marital harmony. In Hump, Kimberly Ford tells stories that reflect the experiences of dozens of parents and a wind range of emotions. Some are laugh-out-loud funny while others are more poignant. On the whole, whether you and your spouse are enjoying sex 3 times a week, or a couple of times a year, you both will find stories here that help you to reconnect -- or at least have a good laugh.

Kimberly Ford adeptly captures the true inner feelings of the post partum mother. She weaves insight and tenderness into her stories of motherhood, sexual intimacy in a marraige and a woman's struggle to retain her sense of self and balance after she has children. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and was most reluctant to turn to the final pages knowing I would soon have to put it down. A great read!

Kimberly Ford has really encapsulated every aspect of this delicate topic with her book HUMP. Each essay reveals a meaningful angle on the subject, blending both humor and heart effortlessly. I laughed and cried. I'm just grateful that someone has the courage to speak with such honesty and integrity on sex, marriage and parenting. Kudos to Kimberly! I can't wait to see more from this author.

I absolutely had fun reading this book. It has personal views about many a subject in a post-baby family - and how this author is regaining and reclaiming herself as a woman and a wife, amidst the babies chaos.
This is definitely not a "how to" book - nor is it intended to be - yet you can find some inspiration (as well as commiseration...) and maybe some ideas that will suddenly light the proverbial "Aha!" bulb over your head.

I was fortunate to attend a "hump party", where Ms. Ford mingled with a group of women, read from her book and answered some questions. If you get a chance to attend (or organize) such a party with your friends, you will be delighted - and maybe find a richer channel of communication with friends who were too embarrassed or afraid to openly discuss these "sex after children" issues before.

This book is really great and inspiring. It is smart and sexy and fun! I laughed a lot while reading it and even used some of the advice... (Thank you Kimberly for the Private Time idea...) I also liked the combination of important parenting topics and sex.
I have already recommended this book to all my friends!

As a mom who has generally lost track of my sex life, I needed a call back to the intimacy and goodness that the sexual connection with my partner provides. This book inspired that. The stories were funny, easy to relate to, and deliver some excellent details. Not so much the very raunchy stuff, but the imperfect and real details that helped me feel like I was still hot enough to dig out one or two sexy items from the dusty back corner of my underwear drawer and put them on. Amazing!