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Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School Hardcover – September 16, 2003

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Soul Shifts
There are pivotal moments in the lives of all seekers when we realize that we’ve been traveling on our path of growth toward happiness and ful­fillment, but, simply put, we want to go faster.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 322 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1 edition (September 16, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 034546625X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345466259
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.9 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (83 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,147,150 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It is difficult to say what exactly is "simple" in this step-by-step plan for finding a "wonderful man" in 12 to 18 months. It certainly is not the part where Greenwald instructs the participant to call every person she knows-from her doctor to her ex-boyfriend-and make known her commitment to finding a mate. However, this Harvard graduate maintains that her program works for most of her clients as long as all the steps are implemented faithfully. Although it can be time-consuming, financially taxing and sometimes nearly humiliating, this approach will achieve the desired results, the author says. Drawing upon her marketing expertise as well as her experience with clients, Greenwald teaches the reader to always put her best foot forward, be willing to compromise on her ideals in a man and take rejection in stride. The book takes a reactionary, conservative approach to dating: she emphasizes the importance of femininity and of letting the man make the first move; "men are usually more attracted to women in skirts than in pants... literally as well as figuratively." Exploring all the options available to singles, including online dating, singles events, community programs, even changing everyday habits (i.e., going to Starbucks instead of drinking coffee at home and shopping at the supermarket instead of the grocery store down the block), Greenwald covers all the bases and provides a thorough program for dedicated women who have made a priority of finding that special someone.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.


“Want a spouse? Read this book!”

“Within two weeks of trying Rachel’s strategies, [I’m] now juggling so many suitors that I’ve started a ‘man-agement’ diary.”
O magazine

“Greenwald is the hottest thing to hit the dating scene since Sex and the City!”
The Observer (London)

“Dating diva Rachel Greenwald [delivers] an espresso shot of practical advice.”
Rocky Mountain News

“May be the most pragmatic set of dating rules yet.”
–New York Post --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Customer Reviews

So good luck to all the single people out there.
I found the book's content actually covered things that seemed common sense, but perhaps some folk might it useful.
Skimmed through the book...did not have to read this one.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

179 of 197 people found the following review helpful By Kathryn Lord on September 30, 2003
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I'm a CyberRomance Coach ([...] and
wrote this review of Rachel Greenwood's book for my
enewsletter of 10/1/2003:
A couple of weeks ago, I heard from a reader about this
new book by Rachel Greenwald "Find a Husband after 35."
Despite the trite (but definitely clear) title,
Greenwald has some new things to say to single people,
no matter what their age or gender.
I read the book in practically one sitting -- not
because it was short or an easy read (neither), but
because Greenwald's angle was so interesting. The
author has an M. B. A. from Harvard, and uses a strict
business and marketing approach to finding a mate.
She is "no-nonsense" -- doesn't care about why one is
still single, puts up with no excuses for getting real
and getting moving. Her Program (and she calls it that
- The Program) is all about action.
Greenwald's first of fifteen steps "to find a husband
in 12 to 18 months" is making finding a mate your #1
priority. And Greenwald MEANS #1. She writes that
if a woman is not married, wants to be, and is over 35,
it's an emergency and needs to be treated as such.
She writes on about the importance of setting a budget
(she recommends 10 to 20 percent of your net income),
paying close attention to packaging -- "creating you
best look," "branding" -- not the painful hot iron to
skin type, advertising, online marketing (Internet
dating), on and on. Most made terrific sense. But
my teeth really got set on edge with the
"Telemarketing" chapter. Ooo-eee! There's got to be
legislation coming to stop THAT one.
This book does the very best in the chapter on "Market
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51 of 54 people found the following review helpful By Kathryn on October 26, 2005
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I know it's a wacked out book, but I read the darn thing in one sitting and when I was done I thought, "it's going to happen, I'm going to meet someone, the nightmare of my past relationships is going to be over and I'm going to get married someday."

I did the plan, met a guy within 3 months and we live together as a family with my son, we're engaged, we plan on having a child together after we wed in the spring. I think the thing that's important is this: I wasted my time on bad men and relationships that were never going to work. This book got me to establish a 0 tolerance policy against losers.

It also got me in the mindset for Internet dates of, this is not the first date of our relationship, I'm just meeting a person. We're just meeting. Thank him for dinner and stand up and go home.

I mean, I can say a lot, of course it's a flawed book, and some of it is such overkill, it's laughable, but it did work for me. So good luck to all the single people out there. To find the right person does require sacrifice, and in essence, that's what this book is about.

But from one who is in the happiest time of my life, I have to say that being is love is the greatest thing ever. It was worth all the pain, and all the waiting.

"It's not true that there is one path that's right for everyone. Find your own truth." - Ram Das

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90 of 103 people found the following review helpful By Timothy Horrigan on October 4, 2003
Format: Hardcover
My mother bought this for my sister (who is over 35, as am I). I thought it would be useful for me to read it since I might like to find a wife at some point (although right now, as of October 2003, I am getting over some stuff and am not ready to get married right away.) And I thought it would be useful to see if anyone is using the tactics in this book on me.
I spotted at least three of Ms Greenwald's tactics being used on me, but nothing very exciting. As far as I can tell, no one is plotting to get married to me right now.
First, some women do send polite refusals to my online dating emails, as recommended in the book. (Ms Greenwald's reason for actually bothering to respond to emails from unattractive men is to create the possibility of an unsuitable suitor being moved to recommend you to one of his friends who does meet your criteria--- as if any self-respecting man who cares about his friends' happiness would do such a thing!)
Second, my ex did once ask me out to dinner at the last moment (while she was ex, not while she was my partner) at the last moment to test my spontaneity. She came right out and said, "I was testing you to see if you would do something spontaneous." (I do not know if she has actually read the book, but her action came right out of its pages. Ms Greenwald recommends testing a man for spontaneity and other qualities throughout the dating process. Ms Greenwald actually recommends calling the man on Thursday and demanding that he takes you on a romantic trip to a bed and breakfast that very weekend--- even though men hate staying at bed and breakfasts.)
And thirdly I have noticed women waiting for me to make the first move, as recommended in the book (because making the first move would allegedly strike the man as unfeminine.
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104 of 122 people found the following review helpful By navi8or on July 10, 2005
Format: Hardcover
Skimmed through the book...did not have to read this one. If you ever visited, you will discover she writes a column for finding love over 40. She uses all of her book there...she quotes from it extensively. Women write in saying they don't want a man with kids...she tells them they are too picky, the kids could be dolls and she is throwing away a man who can commit (no, he can reproduce...big difference.) One said he was fat, a smoker (lied about both) and had raging BO...she suggested staying with him and nudging him toward a healthy lifestyle and deodorant(if a grown man cannot figure out basic hygiene, that is not the woman's problem...and vice versa.) One met a man who was unemployed...she told her to give him a chance because things happen sometimes and he could be a prince in a frog's life(there are men and women happy to mooch though, why waste time?)

Yes she has one point I agree with--some people set their standards way too high...oh he has a slightly receding hairline...Gotta run. I want someone who makes 75K or more, and his last tax return said 74K...hittin' the road. Her column and book are asking women to overlook flaws and hide who they are, not diminish a perfectionist streak. Besides, those who crave perfection in a mate are subconsciously pushing relationships away anyways and won't be reading this book.

No one would write a book to men and say "if she reeks, give her a chance, she could be a sweetie." "If she is ugly/fat/unsightly she may have a heart of gold and you are being too picky." "If she hates your dog, get rid of the dog if you want a wife." Most men I know would ditch the chick for the dog...a wise choice to me. My dog and cats have outlasted every relationship I have had because relationships are about mutual compromise...
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

More About the Author

Rachel Greenwald is a professional dating coach and matchmaker for private clients around the country. She blogs for The Huffington Post, she writes a dating advice column for More Magazine online, and is a relationship contributor to Glamour Magazine. She's a graduate of Harvard Business School and Wellesley College. She currently lives in Denver, CO with her husband and 3 children, and has been married for 19 years.

Rachel's real claim to fame was winning a national hoola-hoop contest in Hawaii several years ago, but she is also the New York Times Bestselling author of "Find a Husband After 35: Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School".

Her newest book "Have Him At Hello: Confessions From 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall In Love... Or Never Call Back" was named one of 2009 "Summer's Hottest Beach Books" by Cosmopolitan Magazine, Essence Magazine, and Good Day New York. (Note: this book was originally published under the title "Why He Didn't Call You Back". The new title "Have Him At Hello" reflects new content added by the author for paperback release in 2009).

Rachel is a frequent relationship guest on The Today Show, Nightline, CNN, National Public Radio, and has been featured in Oprah Magazine, Fortune Magazine, The New York Times, and many others.

Rachel also teaches training workshops for people who want to become dating coaches and matchmakers: an exciting, flexible career for anyone who wants to play Cupid for a living.

Please visit her website to ask her your dating question, learn about events, or to receive her free e-newsletter with dating tips and free gifts: