My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife [Paperback]

Ed Rudd (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 1, 1999

My Husband Wears My Clothes is the first book to be written by the wife of a crossdresser. "Clothes don't make the man" has a new meaning. Dr. Rudd addresses many of the questions frequently asked by the spouses, families, and friends of men who cross gender lines and candidly explores the related emotions that range from frustration to elation.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

My Husband Wears My Clothes, now in its second edition and seventh printing, has become the number one book on the unique topic of crossdressing and transgendered relationships. The author, Dr. Peggy Rudd, describes both the positives and many of the concerns and problems faced by wives and partners of crossdressers and transgendered individuals and suggests solutions. This book is a "must read" for anyone in a transgendered relationship or anyone interested in the phenomenon of men and women who cross gender lines. This book is frequenlty the first book to be read when a spouse or partner discovers that her/his partner is a crossdresser. Yes, there are many women who are crossdressers!

From the Author

Today the expression, "Clothes don't make the man," has a new meaning for me. My husband is as loveable in my clothes as in his. He is a more complete person when the feminine side of his personality is openly expressed by wearing feminine clothing. For me acceptance and understanding have been accomplished by reading on the topic, interacting with other men who crossdress and their significant others, and being sensitive to my husband and his needs.

In writing this book I am not exalting or advocating crossdressing. My purpose is to help eliminate many of the misconceptions. Society has been repressive. This is because people do not understand the true feelings and behavioral patterns of crossdressers. What people do not understand, they tend to fear, and fear breeds prejudice. As the reader grows in awareness my hope is that tolerance and understanding will grow proportionately. I do not expect readers to accept all of my thoughts and theories, but I do hope that the topic of crossdressing can be approached with an open mind. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Pm Publishers; 2 edition (February 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 096267625X
• ISBN-13: 978-0962676253
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #323,015 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book was an enormous relief for me ..., August 2, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife (Paperback)

I am in a serious relationship with a crossdresser and I felt very alone since I didn't understand him and he couldn't understand why. I had never been exposed to crossdressing and this book allowed me to see that it's "unusual, but not abnormal." We have both read it and I enjoyed the fact that it not only puts the woman in tune with what the man is doing, but on the flip side also emphasizes to the man that he has to pay attention to his girlfriend/wife's needs and desires as well outside of his crossdressing. I feel much more comfortable in our relationship after reading this book. If you can look past the issues of the fact that it was published by a small firm and there are typos and other formatting issues, the core of this book is quite meaningful and helpful, especially to someone who has little or no knowledge about the subject. It's a very caring, compassionate read for those who want to succeed in this type of relationship.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for wives/partners of crossdressers, September 29, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife (Paperback)

I learned about my husband's crossdressing 15 years after our marriage and was devastated! I knew that I loved this man but was fearful of what would happen next. Did he want to become a woman! Was he gay? I sought counseling and was given the book, My Husband Wears My Clothes, by Dr. Peggy Rudd. Dr. Rudd, who also is the wife of a crossdresser, should be nominated for sainthood. Reading this book, which presents the bad with the good, helped saved my sanity and my marriage. I love my husband no matter what he wears - if he would only let me borrow that cute dress which is his/her favorite dress. Betty B.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Cross-dressing for Wives, 101, February 16, 2005

By 

Samantha A. Perrin (Ottawa, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife (Paperback)

Although this book is directed mainly to the wives and significant others of crossdressers, it contains a lot of very good advice for the crossdresser as well. Dr. Rudd opens with her own struggle to accept crossdressing, sharing her formula for a happy marriage. She states, "Ours is a home where Melanie can be herself without fear of rejection, embarrassment or condemnation." She describes her concept of gender as a continuum and goes on to state that, "Crossdressers are probably ... permitting the evolution of their true identity, which is a blend of masculine and feminine traits," and that "crossdressing is love motivated."

The second paragraph on page twenty-seven, wherein Dr. Rudd's husband is sharing his story, sums up my feelings about crossdressing admirably. "To me being a crossdresser means that I can experience all the finer qualities of life that may not fit my life as a man. I enjoy being a loving person; I enjoy being like my mother and my wife. For me to give up crossdressing is out of the question. Why should I? I believe that my reasons for crossdressing are positive rather than negative. 1) I love beauty and enjoy being beautiful; 2) I want to become more like my mother and my wife; and 3) I feel a release from occupational pressures when dressed as a woman."

There are chapters on femininity, on dealing with parents and children, and a very powerful section for wives on how to make the marriage work. One chapter is entitled "The Effects of Suppressed Femininity". Having read it through several times it appears to me that she doesn't really tackle the issue. However, in the next chapter, one specific sentence seems to sum it up nicely; "Giving up part of the personality causes death also, but the death is slow and very painful."

The penultimate chapter, for me, is the most powerful. Here Dr. Rudd provides outstanding advice on how to love one's husband 'enfemme'. She states emphatically that this is the ultimate, and achievable, goal.

I highly recommend this book, to crossdressers as well as to their wives and significant others.