My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife [Paperback]

Peggy J. Rudd (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 1, 1999

My Husband Wears My Clothes is the first book to be written by the wife of a crossdresser. "Clothes don't make the man" has a new meaning. Dr. Rudd addresses many of the questions frequently asked by the spouses, families, and friends of men who cross gender lines and candidly explores the related emotions that range from frustration to elation.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

My Husband Wears My Clothes, now in its second edition and seventh printing, has become the number one book on the unique topic of crossdressing and transgendered relationships. The author, Dr. Peggy Rudd, describes both the positives and many of the concerns and problems faced by wives and partners of crossdressers and transgendered individuals and suggests solutions. This book is a "must read" for anyone in a transgendered relationship or anyone interested in the phenomenon of men and women who cross gender lines. This book is frequenlty the first book to be read when a spouse or partner discovers that her/his partner is a crossdresser. Yes, there are many women who are crossdressers!

From the Author

Today the expression, "Clothes don't make the man," has a new meaning for me. My husband is as loveable in my clothes as in his. He is a more complete person when the feminine side of his personality is openly expressed by wearing feminine clothing. For me acceptance and understanding have been accomplished by reading on the topic, interacting with other men who crossdress and their significant others, and being sensitive to my husband and his needs.

In writing this book I am not exalting or advocating crossdressing. My purpose is to help eliminate many of the misconceptions. Society has been repressive. This is because people do not understand the true feelings and behavioral patterns of crossdressers. What people do not understand, they tend to fear, and fear breeds prejudice. As the reader grows in awareness my hope is that tolerance and understanding will grow proportionately. I do not expect readers to accept all of my thoughts and theories, but I do hope that the topic of crossdressing can be approached with an open mind. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: PM Publishers Inc.; 2 edition (February 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 096267625X
• ISBN-13: 978-0962676253
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #484,020 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 32 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book was an enormous relief for me ... August 2, 2000

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

I am in a serious relationship with a crossdresser and I felt very alone since I didn't understand him and he couldn't understand why. I had never been exposed to crossdressing and this book allowed me to see that it's "unusual, but not abnormal." We have both read it and I enjoyed the fact that it not only puts the woman in tune with what the man is doing, but on the flip side also emphasizes to the man that he has to pay attention to his girlfriend/wife's needs and desires as well outside of his crossdressing. I feel much more comfortable in our relationship after reading this book. If you can look past the issues of the fact that it was published by a small firm and there are typos and other formatting issues, the core of this book is quite meaningful and helpful, especially to someone who has little or no knowledge about the subject. It's a very caring, compassionate read for those who want to succeed in this type of relationship.

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for wives/partners of crossdressers September 29, 1997

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

I learned about my husband's crossdressing 15 years after our marriage and was devastated! I knew that I loved this man but was fearful of what would happen next. Did he want to become a woman! Was he gay? I sought counseling and was given the book, My Husband Wears My Clothes, by Dr. Peggy Rudd. Dr. Rudd, who also is the wife of a crossdresser, should be nominated for sainthood. Reading this book, which presents the bad with the good, helped saved my sanity and my marriage. I love my husband no matter what he wears - if he would only let me borrow that cute dress which is his/her favorite dress. Betty B.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Cross-dressing for Wives, 101 February 16, 2005

By Samantha A. Perrin

Format:Paperback

Although this book is directed mainly to the wives and significant others of crossdressers, it contains a lot of very good advice for the crossdresser as well. Dr. Rudd opens with her own struggle to accept crossdressing, sharing her formula for a happy marriage. She states, "Ours is a home where Melanie can be herself without fear of rejection, embarrassment or condemnation." She describes her concept of gender as a continuum and goes on to state that, "Crossdressers are probably ... permitting the evolution of their true identity, which is a blend of masculine and feminine traits," and that "crossdressing is love motivated."

The second paragraph on page twenty-seven, wherein Dr. Rudd's husband is sharing his story, sums up my feelings about crossdressing admirably. "To me being a crossdresser means that I can experience all the finer qualities of life that may not fit my life as a man. I enjoy being a loving person; I enjoy being like my mother and my wife. For me to give up crossdressing is out of the question. Why should I? I believe that my reasons for crossdressing are positive rather than negative. 1) I love beauty and enjoy being beautiful; 2) I want to become more like my mother and my wife; and 3) I feel a release from occupational pressures when dressed as a woman."

There are chapters on femininity, on dealing with parents and children, and a very powerful section for wives on how to make the marriage work. One chapter is entitled "The Effects of Suppressed Femininity". Having read it through several times it appears to me that she doesn't really tackle the issue. However, in the next chapter, one specific sentence seems to sum it up nicely; "Giving up part of the personality causes death also, but the death is slow and very painful...."

The penultimate chapter, for me, is the most powerful. Here Dr. Rudd provides outstanding advice on how to love one's husband 'enfemme'. She states emphatically that this is the ultimate, and achievable, goal.

I highly recommend this book, to crossdressers as well as to their wives and significant others. Read more ›

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommend for Crossdressers and Their S/O March 14, 2000

By A Customer

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

As a crossdresser, I found this book to be very enlightening. I am fortunate to be dating a wonderful woman who I felt was open-minded enough for me to tell the truth and reveal my secret. As I had hoped, she accepted it and wanted to know more about it. I had heard about this book and together, we ordered it. I read it first and wrote some of my thoughts in the margins throughout the book...things that rang true with me, things I disagreed about, and my experiences with crossdressing. She is reading it now and is doing the same. We are planning on discussing it further once she finishes the book. We have already had several discussions and we both feel the situation is making us a closer couple as we share our thoughts. I feel this book has helped tremendously in me opening up to her and explaining things that I couldn't find the words for.

I will admit that the author does get a little rah rah here and there. And some of her generalizations bothered me...as a rule, I hate generalizations. Then again, I suppose hating all generalizations *IS* a generalization. Hmm. But overall, I highly recommend this book for crossdressers and their S/O. And I recommend that the two people share the reading experience together. It is quite an easy read and a good look into the thoughts of a crossdresser.

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A truly remarkable book! October 8, 1998

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

My Husband Wears My Clothes is a truly remarkable book by a truly remarkable woman and author. Not only does Dr. Rudd explore the facets of life with and among the millions living in the transgendered community worldwide, she offers the reader rare insights into the personal and private life of a woman who is married to a man who is a crossdresser.

Dr. Rudd invites the reader to explore a phenomenon often times shunned, ridiculed and misunderstood by society from the perspective of a wife who has accepted her husband's need to express the feminine side of himself. She does not, however, attempt to force the reader to accept crossdressing as a way of life. Rather, she invites the reader to share a fascinating glimpse of the people who dare to be couragious enogh to withstand the social and personal pressures brought about by society's ignorance of those who Dr. Rudd calls the "gender gifted".

This book is factual, down-to-earth and a must-read for anyone currently involved in or considering a relationship with a crossdresser.