Customer Reviews

My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I am in a serious relationship with a crossdresser and I felt very alone since I didn't understand him and he couldn't understand why. I had never been exposed to crossdressing and this book allowed me to see that it's "unusual, but not abnormal." We have both read it and I enjoyed the fact that it not only puts the woman in tune with what the man is doing, but on the flip side also emphasizes to the man that he has to pay attention to his girlfriend/wife's needs and desires as well outside of his crossdressing. I feel much more comfortable in our relationship after reading this book. If you can look past the issues of the fact that it was published by a small firm and there are typos and other formatting issues, the core of this book is quite meaningful and helpful, especially to someone who has little or no knowledge about the subject. It's a very caring, compassionate read for those who want to succeed in this type of relationship.

I learned about my husband's crossdressing 15 years after our marriage and was devastated! I knew that I loved this man but was fearful of what would happen next. Did he want to become a woman! Was he gay? I sought counseling and was given the book, My Husband Wears My Clothes, by Dr. Peggy Rudd. Dr. Rudd, who also is the wife of a crossdresser, should be nominated for sainthood. Reading this book, which presents the bad with the good, helped saved my sanity and my marriage. I love my husband no matter what he wears - if he would only let me borrow that cute dress which is his/her favorite dress. Betty B.

Although this book is directed mainly to the wives and significant others of crossdressers, it contains a lot of very good advice for the crossdresser as well. Dr. Rudd opens with her own struggle to accept crossdressing, sharing her formula for a happy marriage. She states, "Ours is a home where Melanie can be herself without fear of rejection, embarrassment or condemnation." She describes her concept of gender as a continuum and goes on to state that, "Crossdressers are probably ... permitting the evolution of their true identity, which is a blend of masculine and feminine traits," and that "crossdressing is love motivated."

The second paragraph on page twenty-seven, wherein Dr. Rudd's husband is sharing his story, sums up my feelings about crossdressing admirably. "To me being a crossdresser means that I can experience all the finer qualities of life that may not fit my life as a man. I enjoy being a loving person; I enjoy being like my mother and my wife. For me to give up crossdressing is out of the question. Why should I? I believe that my reasons for crossdressing are positive rather than negative. 1) I love beauty and enjoy being beautiful; 2) I want to become more like my mother and my wife; and 3) I feel a release from occupational pressures when dressed as a woman."

There are chapters on femininity, on dealing with parents and children, and a very powerful section for wives on how to make the marriage work. One chapter is entitled "The Effects of Suppressed Femininity". Having read it through several times it appears to me that she doesn't really tackle the issue. However, in the next chapter, one specific sentence seems to sum it up nicely; "Giving up part of the personality causes death also, but the death is slow and very painful."

The penultimate chapter, for me, is the most powerful. Here Dr. Rudd provides outstanding advice on how to love one's husband 'enfemme'. She states emphatically that this is the ultimate, and achievable, goal.

I highly recommend this book, to crossdressers as well as to their wives and significant others.

As a crossdresser, I found this book to be very enlightening. I am fortunate to be dating a wonderful woman who I felt was open-minded enough for me to tell the truth and reveal my secret. As I had hoped, she accepted it and wanted to know more about it. I had heard about this book and together, we ordered it. I read it first and wrote some of my thoughts in the margins throughout the book...things that rang true with me, things I disagreed about, and my experiences with crossdressing. She is reading it now and is doing the same. We are planning on discussing it further once she finishes the book. We have already had several discussions and we both feel the situation is making us a closer couple as we share our thoughts. I feel this book has helped tremendously in me opening up to her and explaining things that I couldn't find the words for.

I will admit that the author does get a little rah rah here and there. And some of her generalizations bothered me...as a rule, I hate generalizations. Then again, I suppose hating all generalizations *IS* a generalization. Hmm. But overall, I highly recommend this book for crossdressers and their S/O. And I recommend that the two people share the reading experience together. It is quite an easy read and a good look into the thoughts of a crossdresser.

My Husband Wears My Clothes is a truly remarkable book by a truly remarkable woman and author. Not only does Dr. Rudd explore the facets of life with and among the millions living in the transgendered community worldwide, she offers the reader rare insights into the personal and private life of a woman who is married to a man who is a crossdresser.

Dr. Rudd invites the reader to explore a phenomenon often times shunned, ridiculed and misunderstood by society from the perspective of a wife who has accepted her husband's need to express the feminine side of himself. She does not, however, attempt to force the reader to accept crossdressing as a way of life. Rather, she invites the reader to share a fascinating glimpse of the people who dare to be couragious enogh to withstand the social and personal pressures brought about by society's ignorance of those who Dr. Rudd calls the "gender gifted".

This book is factual, down-to-earth and a must-read for anyone currently involved in or considering a relationship with a crossdresser.

I have been a crossdresser for most of my life. This book was right on target in the way it explained the motivationas of a crossdresser. I wish I would have found this book 20 years ago. For the wives or signifigant others of crossdressers, I recommend this book. I also recommend this book for those of us who may be asking why...

It is not often that we can have the privilege of reading such an excellent book as "My husband wears my clothes". It is a fortunate blend of common sense, clear, well written prose, intersped poetry and good taste. It's been very touching and a great help both for me and my wife. One of the best books I have read in many years. If you are interested in this subject, this book is a must. If you are not familiar with this subject, this is a very delicate and well informed way to find out about it. Five stars, applause and my heartfelt appreciation to Ms. Rudd.

I was hoping this book would be part of the new age of breaking the stereotypes of gender. However, Ms Rudd is too often stuck on defining femininity in a traditional, stereotypical way. Knocking down male stereotypes only to replace them with female stereotypes is no way to help anyone. There are typos, Ms Rudd is clearly not a writer full time, she makes references to studies and magazines that she obviously doesn't read, and shows enormous disrespect to feminists and feminism (the movement that continues to try and help women attain equality and which paved the way for men to question their gender roles). There is an emphasis on Christianity and God, and lots of bad poetry--but I found the bibliography and other references helpful. A mixed bag at best.

Good book to start with I read this first before Crossdressing with Dignity and My Husband Betty. Was a great intro to set the scene for my thirst for knowing more of this phenomena within me. Chapter set out was very good and one could methodically read through and connect the thread of why we men crossdress and how best to achieve acceptance and understanding within ourselves first before we expect others to try.

I have just received the book today. I am going thru the same.
I only read the introduction and the first few pages.
It seems to be excellent.
I will read it myself and give it to near ones.
I cannot give full review at this time.