Customer Reviews

The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death.

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If you're not a hypochondriac before you read "The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life and Death," you will be by the time you finish it. Who among us doesn't hiccup, eat vegetables, or experience the occasional twitch in an eyelid?

According to Weingarten, all of these seemingly harmless activities can lead to our imminent demise, accompanied by horrible pain and distressing body noises.

For instance, the only place where we probably can't get cancer is the lens of our eye.

Then there is this really gross tumor called a "teratoma" that can have teeth and hair. If you ever bit the head off of one of those ugly little Smurf® dolls when you were a kid (or as part of a fraternity initiation rite when you were still a kid but had the body of an adult), then picture it as wandering to a sensitive portion of your anatomy and MUTATING!!!

Whew!

Even the author had trouble finding anything humorous about cancer. He tried asking an oncologist, "So, Doctor, what's funny about cancer?"

"'Let's see,' [the oncologist] said. `Humor. OK, what is the difference between Sloan-Kettering and Shea Stadium?'

"Dunno, I said.

"'At Sloan-Kettering, the mets always win.'

"Ha ha, I said. What?

"'See, `mets' is an abbreviation for `metastasis,' which is a cancer that has spread systemically from one organ or system to another.'

"Ah.

"A desperate silence filled the room."

I suppose if I had to stagger off of this mortal coil, "beer potomania" wouldn't be such a bad way to go (compared to most of the other diseases in this book). People who drink in excess of eight quarts of beer per day can accumulate too much water in their blood (I guess the liver hogs all of the beer), which leads to confusion, lethargy, and death.

Moral: don't mix water with your beer.

The low point of "The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life and Death" might be Chapter 20, "Oh, Crap (Diagnosis by the Process of Elimination)," wherein the author interviews a gastroenterologist who specializes in flatulence. This is the chapter I quoted most extensively to my friends.

Amazon.com won't let me quote the same passages for you, so buy this book and read it.

If you'd like to learn more about the author, Gene Weingarten, read Dave Barry's introduction before taking the plunge into Chapter 01, and figuring out which disease is going to take you down the drain.

This is absolutely one of the funniest books I've ever read. Weingarten is a refreshingly talented author. He has a wonderful sense of humor and timing. He has managed to make fun of hypochondriacs, without insulting them. This is the only book I've ever recommended--and I'm a librarian.

perhaps the funniest book(laugh out loud and be unable to stop).where dave barry would stop,the author plumbs the limits of true dementia. in the insanity every so often there is a little shock of recognition to puncture the condescention we feel for these poor terrified souls. a must read.

I picked up a copy of this book in a huge bookstore, because we were on vacation and I got sick. Tired of watching tv, I started reading, and within moments I was laughing so hard that tears were sliding down my face and I was actually snorting with laughter. There are some sad parts too, but Gene Weingarten, who writes a weekly column for the Washington Post Magazine, in DC, is one of my favorite writers, and I had always enjoyed his work. He speaks of illnesses in words you've always wanted to say, but never had, especially at the right time, and shows you that once you've been sick, and have been taken into the Medical Establishment's Mothership, LOL, you will never be the same again. Nothing will ever embarrass you about your body, because it will be hanging out for all to see, at any given time. There is nothing frightening about this book: it is merely a wonderful display of medical knowledge, personal history, and a fantastic sense of humor, on the part of the author. If you've ever even had a cold, you will appreciate this book!

Funny, funny, funny. You'll be reading aloud to whoever is nearby. Guaranteed. Takes all your worst nightmares and rolls them into one frighteningly delightful book. A worthy descendent of Three Men In A Boat, the first hypochondriac's guide to life. Buy it and prepare for some lengthy investigations on the Internet...diseases you've never heard of and don't want to imagine, described in lovely detail. The only thing that could make it better would be illustrations!

This is one of the funniest things I've read in years. At first I was afraid to read it because I thought it would give me ideas--I admit to being a bit of a hypochondriac myself but instead of being upset or studying myself for symptoms I had a ball.

Gene Weingarten has produced a book that is at once funny, neurosis producing, and touching. The review of hypochondria is so funny that I found myself reading it out loud to family and friends. For example, the book recounts the story of King Charles II being treated for a minor stroke by, among other things, having holes drilled into his head to drain the bad humors. As he lay on his deathbed because, no doubt, he had holes drilled in this head, the King thanked his doctors for their heroic efforts. Weingarten gives the marginal hypochondriac the tools to become a full fledged hypochondriac by listing minor symptoms that could be preludes to serious diseases. I will forever think of this book when I sneeze and wonder if I have been exposed to Anthrax. The book ends with a touching story of Weingarten's own serious medical problem, which he claims cured him of his hypochondria. This book tended to reinforce my prejudice that when it come to medicine maybe the cure is worse than the disease.

I couldn't help myself from laughing out loud at times. But what I find so great about this book is that amidst the punch lines are a few really valuable insights. Gene Weingarten has made it his mission to find a deadly disease to go with every possible minor complaint just to show that almost anything can be a symptom of a deadly disease, so if you are determined to imagine the worst, you can always find something to fear. What makes this book truly worthwhile, not just entertaining, is the fact that Gene Weingarten not only understands hypochondria but also has discovered the sure-file cure ("as effective as Bactine on a boo-boo," as he puts it).

My sister gave me this book and I was reluctant to read it because I thought it was going to be a serious psychological piece about how hypochondriacs are wusses and just plain crazy! I decided to give it a try and every pragraph made me laugh out loud! I am a silent hypochondriac...never go to the doctor unless I need a written physical for work but always diagnose myself by doing research on all possible illnesses that I think I may have. This book really hit home!If laughter is the best medicine then buy this book and heal (at least while your reading it).

One of the funniest non-Dave Barry humor books ever, this slender book goes over the various lunatic manifestations of hypochondria, a problem I have from time to time. (I now have a fear of twenty-foot-long tapeworms)

I first read about Gene Weingarten in a Dave Barry column where dear Dave got a laser gun stuck in his eye (don't ask) where he called Gene to ask him what the drowsiness meant. Gene's eventual reply was that he needed a CAT scan and probably was going to die. This book pretty much sticks to that vein.

The book becomes slightly more serious near the end, where Gene recounts his diagnosis of Hepatitis C, as well as a visit to a friend with AIDS. But even these are leavened with humor, such as Weingarten's mental ramblings when his friend offers him a cookie: "This dying man is offering me nourishment! This is Saint Francis of Assisi!" (not a direct quote)

One warning: Do not read this book if you will afterward start anxiously looking up the symptoms of a twenty-foot-long tapeworm. You have been warned.