The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have (Paperback)

~ (Author) "It's funny how your body changes in very subtle ways, day by day, so that you never really notice it..." (more)
Key Phrases: Loa Loa, Creutzfeldt Jakob, Black Death (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

The good news: you won’t stop laughing. The bad news: Every word is true.

Profiling fifty of the most disgusting, painful, life-threatening and otherwise icky diseases, this remarkable book is the perfect treat for the closet temperature-taker, speed-dialing doctor stalker, or tissue-wielding virus-phobe in all of us. Each disease is fully documented, including a checklist of symptoms, an overview, treatment, prognosis, and—for the rare cases in which the reader is not yet infected—notes on prevention. With fascinating, sickeningly accurate text written by a member of the editorial staff in the Infectious Disease Department of Elsevier, The Hypochondriac’s Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have is capable of startling even the most health-confident into fanatical hand washing.

About the Author

Dennis DiClaudio is a humor and fiction writer, an improvisational comedian, and works in the editorial department at one of the world's largest medical and scientific publishing companies.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Bloomsbury USA (December 13, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1596910615
• ISBN-13: 978-1596910614
• Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 4.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #72,216 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Repulsive, Yet Oddly Compelling Guide To Strange, Scary, And Very Nasty Diseases, July 5, 2006

By	Robert I. Hedges - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Medical editor and improvisational humorist Dennis DiClaudio has written an amazing book. It is essentially a pocket guide to selected horrible, scary, and interesting diseases presented in a quirky, humorous way. These diseases are neatly organized by categories (autoimmune, fungal, genetic, etc.) and cover only the most unusual of dread diseases. Sure, the book covers some more commonly known diseases like leprosy, acromegaly, and furious rabies, but it really shines when discussing truly obscure maladies such as fatal familial insomnia, cyclic vomiting syndrome (which, while it may not kill you, will make you wish it had,) alien hand syndrome (which gets my vote for most unusual neurological condition of all time,) and amnesic shellfish poisoning, which will make you forget all about the prawns you just ate (as well as everything else, for that matter.)

While all of these diseases are horrible in their own way, the one I find to be the most singularly scary is candiru infestation. This is the nastiest thing I have ever heard of: if you swim in the Amazon or Orinoco rivers a small, slender species of catfish called the candiru, but better known as the vampire fish, likes to swim up your urethra and lodge itself in your urinary tract. This hurts a lot. Do not try to pull it out because (surprise!) it has rearward pointing barbs that unfurl like an umbrella that will make it more firmly ensconced in its new home, where it spends its hours running sharp grating teeth all over your most sensitive parts to make a meal of your blood. (Some men have decided to have an otherwise unthinkable type of surgical amputation to make the pain stop.) As a side note, DiClaudio points out that there is legislation pending to outlaw importing candiru into the US, a measure that will, no doubt, get wide bipartisan support.

Even the more conventional diseases like bubonic plague and encephalitis are examined in a new and eerily entertaining light. I noted with a bit of trepidation that encephalitis can be caused by many, many other diseases, which DiClaudio helpfully lists in part; these include, but are not limited to: chicken pox, monkey pox, camel pox, canary pox, mollusci pox, sheep pox, vole pox, Aleutian mink disease, Andean potato mottle virus, hemagglutinating virus of Japan, O'Nyong-Nyong, coital exanthema virus, Kyzylagach virus, yug bogdanovac virus, and mumps, just to name a few. Clearly you need to have an encephalitis contingency plan in place.

This book is actually full of good information, though I advise true hypochondriacs not even be allowed in the same room as this book. These diseases are scary, sure, but through DiClaudio's masterful prose and dry sense of humor, medical education actually becomes enjoyable with this book.

I highly recommend this to anyone with a good (if slightly warped) sense of humor, but the medically squeamish need not apply.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Uproariously Funny...Unless, of course, you actually suffer from one of these diseases, February 25, 2007

By	TeensReadToo.com "Eat. Drink. Read. Be Merrier." (All Over the US & Canada) - See all my reviews

First off, this is not a book for the faint of heart. It is, however, the perfect read for those with an off-the-wall sense of humor.

Mr. DiClaudio has compiled a list of forty-five of the most outlandish, obscure, and downright nasty diseases that you're likely to ever run across. Hopefully, on second thought, you'll never run across any of them, but in case you do, if you've read this book you'll at least be prepared for the horrid and totally disgusting ways with which you will suffer.

The diseases are broken up into categories, including Autoimmune, Bacterial, Genetic & Neurological, Idiopathic, Parasitic, Toxic & Fungal, and Viral & Prionic.

Although I found myself laughing hysterically at some of Mr. DiClaudio's observations, I sincerely hope to never find myself on the receiving end of these diseases. And, truth be told, I can't decide if I'd rather have worms living on my eyeball, having my flesh begin to decay while I'm still alive, or suffering from fatal familial insomnia (in which case, I'll never sleep again, and will probably spend my final waking hours wishing I had a disease as simple as worms living on my eyeball or having my flesh decay while I'm still alive).

Overall, a great way to spend a couple of hours. However, if you suspect you suffer from any of these forty-five diseases, you might want to actually see a doctor.

10 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You wont be able to put it down!, December 14, 2005

By	KatieMC (NJ, USA) - See all my reviews

Amazing yet true maladies of the world! I bought this book knowing it would be funny and was more then pleased when i actually read it, yet slightly disturbed that i might be dying!