I Am Not a Psychic!: A Novel [Hardcover]

Richard Belzer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 6, 2009

RICHARD BELZER plays the acerbic Detective John Munch on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. He has made television history by portraying Detective Munch in ten different television series, including Homicide, The Wire, and Arrested Development. A veteran stand-up comic, actor, and talk-show host, he is the author of I Am Not a Cop!, UFOs, JFK, and Elvis, and coauthor of How to Be a Stand-Up Comic. He divides his time between France and New York City.

Comedy legend Johnny Leland has called in his chips. He’s organizing a charity telethon and needs TV cop Richard Belzer to cohost. Not one to let down an old friend—much less the guy who gave him his start in stand-up comedy—The Belz gets ready to head out to Las Vegas when he receives a mysterious phone call from Paul Venchus, a newspaper colleague from way back. Twenty-six years ago, beautiful starlet Bridget Burgeon was found dead in her Hollywood apartment. Sleeping pills, the coroner ruled, but many questioned whether her relationship with handsome, up-and-coming California congressman Mark Kaye played a role. Conspiracy theorists have been working overtime ever since, and Venchus claims that he has made a breakthrough in the case. A well-known conspiracy theorist himself, The Belz can’t resist hearing him out and agrees to meet. Then Venchus turns up dead, and a wacky, self-proclaimed female psychic shows up at Belzer’s hotel in Vegas insisting that he continue their investigation. Relying on his TV cop know-how and celebrity status, they begin to piece together a series of mysterious deaths that, while rooted a quarter of a century in the past, present some very real dangers in the present. As the bodies start piling up, Belzer finds a legendary hit man hot on his trail and must utilize all of his talents not only to pull off a successful telethon but to solve one of our history’s most scandalous conspiracies before his Vegas stint becomes his closing act.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Actor and comic Belzer, best known for his long-running portrayal of the acerbic detective John Munch on the TV series Homicide and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, fares much better with his second light crime novel featuring himself as the amateur sleuth. Both the plotting and the prose are sharper than in 2008's I Am Not a Cop! and offer promise that future books may be better still. Just before Belzer leaves New York City for Las Vegas to cohost a charity telethon, Paul Venchus, with whom Belzer once worked as a reporter, calls and asks for his help cracking a conspiracy. Venchus claims the suspicious deaths of a Marilyn Monroe–like actress and her congressman lover were actually murders. After Venchus turns up dead himself, possibly from an alcohol overdose, his girlfriend comes to Vegas to implore Belzer to investigate. Despite a deus ex machina, snappy dialogue and solid pacing makes this a success on its own terms. (Oct.)
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About the Author

Richard Belzer plays the acerbic Detective John Munch on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, after first portraying Munch on NBC’s critically acclaimed drama series Homicide: Life on the Street. In fact, Belzer has made television history by portraying Detective Munch in ten different television series, including Law & Order, The Wire, and Arrested Development. A veteran stand-up comic, actor, and talk-show host, he appeared in such films as Fame and Scarface; starred in The Richard Belzer Show on Cinemax, his own HBO special, Another Lone Nut; and The Belzer Connection for the SciFi Channel. Belzer is author of I Am Not A Cop!, UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe, and coauthor of How to Be a Stand-Up Comic. He divides his time between France and New York City.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; First Edition edition (October 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416570896
• ISBN-13: 978-1416570899
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #819,373 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars RICK "SHAQ" GOLDSTEIN SAYS: "I AM NOT AS AMUSED WITH THE SECOND BOOK.", November 15, 2009

By 

Rick Shaq Goldstein "*SHAQ*" (Danville, Ca, USA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

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This review is from: I Am Not a Psychic!: A Novel (Hardcover)

Richard Belzer is back with a follow up to his "I AM NOT A COP" mystery novel which plays on the "Hey it's me!... A real life actor in "LAW AND ORDER SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT!"... but "wink-wink" the crime thriller I'm involved in is fiction. The uniqueness of the first novel has worn off... so the author needs to come up with a compelling story and characters that are strong enough to be able to stand on its own merits. Unfortunately the new story is not gripping nor unique enough. "Belz" is contacted out of the blue by an old friend Paul Venchus who he hasn't heard from in a quarter-of-a-century. Paul is a lush who says he has info that can solve a famous Hollywood murder case from twenty-six years ago. As the reader is made aware of the fictitious characters involved in this long ago "conspiratorial" murder... there is not even a hint of intrigue. Belzer is on his way to Vegas to help out his "mentor and best friend" Johnny Leland run an annual charity telethon. (Sound familiar... in Vegas... for charity?) If the lack of creativity here isn't enough for you... add on the fact that Johnny Leland used to be one-half of the hottest Hollywood entertainment duo twenty-five years ago. Johnny was a comedian and his partner Sal Fabell was a hard drinking... handsome Italian singer. Johnny and Sal split up and haven't talked in... you guessed it... twenty-five-years. So while everyone Belzer talks to regarding the decrepitly old non-titillating murder case... becomes murder victims themselves... he also arranges a tear-jerking telethon reunion between Johnny and Sal. (How about a little more creativity regarding Dean Martin-Jerry Lewis-Vegas-telethon?)

Added to the mix is the title "character"... a totally boring... self-proclaimed... run of the mill (supposed) psychic... who was Paul's girlfriend and also related to one of the long ago murder cast of characters. With all the possibilities the author has at his disposal such as unlimited real-life names for cameos... and nothing but his imagination to limit his choice of a unique crime subject... this story comes up awful short.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Even More Exciting Than Their First Novel!, October 18, 2009

By 

Cardinal Robbins "Glock35Gal" (Southern California, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Am Not a Psychic!: A Novel (Hardcover)

On page 113 of the most recent collaboration between comedian-actor Richard Belzer and crime novelist-cop Michael Black, it's written, "Sometimes cops can make pretty good writers." When it comes to their second novel together, this is an incredible understatement.

Belz is at it again as a suitably smart-assed self-insert in his own fiction, a character in his tale of conspiracies akin to Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedy era, in which an old acquaintance, Paul Venchus, (who used to be a fellow journalist) is killed when he gets a little too close to the truth. Paul's girlfriend, Veronica Holmes, a self-proclaimed psychic, contacts Belz by cellphone and the mystery begins. Hesitant at first, Belzer warms to the need for his investigative skills as the fog surrounding the death of Brigid Burgeon (read: Monroe) ostensibly at the hands of the Kaye (read: Kennedy) clan, when word has it Venchus was on to something big. There's plenty of grist for the conspiracy mill, as you can imagine.

The action intertwines with Belz's need to help an old friend, his comedy mentor and idol, Johnny Leland (think Jerry Lewis here, folks) do a charity telethon. There's a lot more to producing a telethon than you may realize, which brings many other memorable and fully-developed characters into the fray. Belz walks the fine line between investigating a mystery growing deeper every moment, with bodies stacking up precariously, while giving as much help to Leland as he can muster.

There's even a Sal Fabell/Johnny Leland reunion to rival that of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. You'll still enjoy this book, even if you're too young to remember all these historical similarities.

Veronica, the loose cannon who seems glued to Belz's side, undergoes a Pygmalion-like transformation through the course of the crimes, but whether or not psychic abilities come into play, I'll let you decide.

Everything transpires in a credible, action-oriented manner, which will keep you turning pages until the very end. The ending itself will have you asking aloud, "How's Belzer going to get himself out of life-threatening trouble THIS time?" (And whether or not his gorgeous wife, Harlee McBride, will have to "come out there." It's great to see her included in this novel!) It's a thriller of an ending, so don't cheat yourself by sneaking a look at it early on. (Yes, I know you're tempted, but trust me on this one.)

All of this happens by way of the Belzer & Black co-authorship, which is even more seamless and polished this time. Those familiar with Michael Black's writing style will recognize his prose, but so many of the details are pure Belz at his best. I can't say enough good things about this one, because it's even better than their first offering, "I Am Not a Cop."

If there's a conspiracy in your town, you'll undoubtedly want Belzer on your side. In the meantime, I'm crossing my fingers there will be many more collaborations between Belzer & Black - maybe next time they'll set one in Atlantic City.

Perhaps one day Belz will actually get to see one of those MMA bouts he keeps missing.

1.0 out of 5 stars The Honest Reviewer, November 20, 2011

By 

Albert R. Rustebakke "Rusty" (Corrales, NM) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I Am Not a Psychic! (Kindle Edition)

I AM NOT A PSYCHIC by Richard Belzer with Michael Black. I do not recommend this book. I struggled through 27 pages of it while eating lunch and should have stopped sooner. It's a mystery with a stand-up comic as the hero. The jacket indicates Belzer is a very successful television actor with a number of series to his credit as well as being a stand-up comic. He should have stayed away from writing, but I would imagine his name does sell enough of his books so the publishers make a profit.

He gives many examples of poor humor in what I read, with the hero looking down on other stand-up comics from his own egotistical heights. I found none of the characters interesting, likable, anyone I would want to get to know. This may, perhaps is, an accurate portrayal of Las Vegas show biz, but I need at least one character in 27 pages interesting and sympathetic enough that I might want to know them.

I like well written and edited books. This is neither. Several grammatical errors in what I read helped turn me off. But enough, don't read unless you like disliking all the characters in a book.