I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage [Hardcover]

Susan Squire (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 22, 2008

A provocative survey of marriage and what it has meant for society, politics, religion, and the home.
For ten thousand years, marriage—and the idea of marriage—has been at the very foundation of human society. In this provocative and ambitious book, Susan Squire unravels the turbulent history and many implications of our most basic institution. Starting with the discovery, long before recorded time, that sex leads to paternity (and hence to couplehood), and leading up to the dawn of the modern “love marriage,” Squire delves into the many ways men and women have come together and what the state of their unions has meant for history, society, and politics – especially the politics of the home.
This book is the product of thirteen years of intense research, but even more than the intellectual scope, what sets it apart is Squire’s voice and contrarian boldness. Learned, acerbic, opinionated, and funny, she draws on everything from Sumerian mythology to Renaissance theater to Victorian housewives’ manuals (sometimes all at the same time) to create a vivid, kaleidoscopic view of the many things marriage has been and meant. The result is a book to provoke and fascinate readers of all ideological stripes: feminists, traditionalists, conservatives, and progressives alike.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In breezy, irreverent prose, Squire (The Slender Balance) catalogues the history and religious significance of the institution of marriage from Adam and Eve to the Renaissance and beyond. Writing as if gossiping with a girlfriend, Squire argues that marriage was developed to establish paternity by controlling the sex life of women. We learn that the men of Athens had hetaera (courtesans) to entertain them, concubines for their daily need and wives with whom to breed legitimate children; the women of Rome, on the other hand, learned how to use their power to threaten male rule of society. The New Testament offers equality to husband and wife, at least in the marriage bed; the association of lust with Eve's original sin can be attributed to Augustine. Squire explores sixth-century penitentials on sexual sins, adultery in the Middle Ages and the intersection of wife and witch during the Renaissance inquisitions. Readers are left questioning whether our modern idea of love matches might end up as a chapter in a future book about the incarnations of marriage. Love may not be the answer, but for now, it is the story. (Aug.)
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Review

"Wickedly funny...As we head into the presidential election, you may find yourself channeling Squire as you puzzle out your feelings about the Obama [and] McCain marriages..."--New York Times Book Review

 

"Delightful... Squire has a deft touch... More than a few laugh-out-loud moments, [and] filled with fascinating tidbits." --NPR.org

"Fascinating... Valuable insight into an institution that has recently been transformed yet again."--The Boston Globe

"Very amusing...[A] passionate intellectual manifesto."-- Library Journal

“Squire archly reconsiders the disobedient Biblical helpmeet Eve (‘Shouldn’t the buck stop with the senior officer, not the assistant?’), as well as witches, bitches, nymphomaniacs, concubines, clerics, cuckolds, and others … Take this potent, hugely entertaining book to bed.”—O Magazine

“Lively and a pleasure to read”—Kirkus Reviews

"In breezy, irreverent prose, Squire catalogues the history and religious significance of the institution of marriage ....as if gossiping with a girlfriend...."—Publishers Weekly

“A sardonic and delightful romp through the history of conjugality, from day zero on. An illuminating book for those who want to know their history, rather than just repeat it: anyone in a marriage or just contemplating the possibility will want to take notes. Also perfect for couples therapists’ waiting rooms, throwing at your spouse, and Valentine's Day.”—Laura Kipnis

“Written with an incisive wit and an unshowy audaciousness, I Don’t is an absolutely compelling read—a must for anyone, man or woman, who has wondered about the war between the sexes and the truce that is marriage. Steeped as her book is in historical detail, Susan Squire proves herself to be that rare breed: a scholar with a light touch, writing with a deftness and fluency that lifts her comprehensive knowledge and closely informed readings to the level of literature. This is a book that informs while it entertains the reader—a truly original take on its subject.”—Daphne Merkin, author of Enchantment and Dreaming of Hitler

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Bloomsbury USA; 1st edition (July 22, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1582341192
• ISBN-13: 978-1582341194
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #670,641 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "I Don't " Is A Must Read, August 8, 2008

By 

Jennifer Cipriano - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage (Hardcover)

Susan Squire's I Don't, A Contrarian History of Marriage is an intelligent and playful history of an institution we're all captivated by in one way or another but know little about. Her writing is funny and outrageous because it's true. Squire imparts the horrendous ways every western society--Greeks, Romans, Christians--treated women. But I Don't is hardly a diatribe against marriage or men. Squire is not out for vengeance. Instead, she tells the story of why and how society became organized into couples and families. And this honest investigation thereby helps to ease the pain of the impossible conundrum of marriage by putting the personal into a political and historical context. We're not alone, we don't live in a vacuum. I Don't is a powerful book.

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I Don't: A Contrarian View of Marriage, July 30, 2008

By 

David L. Weltman - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage (Hardcover)

A research product that is fascinating and memorable. The author does a sardonic job on the Old and New Testaments in examining the routes of males on top as a biblical command! Especially interesting is her cross-examination of the Genesis story with Adam, Eve, the Serpent and Him as
putative witnesses on the "stand". Her chapter on the virgin birth is uniquely well-documented. The story flows to Martin Luther and the religious re-acceptance of marriage without female authority. Looking forward to the sequel from Luther to modern times when relationships change dramatically at least in the Western world.

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I Did. You Should., August 4, 2008

By 

Marilyn Johnson (Briarcliff, NY USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage (Hardcover)

A fantastic, original, and entertaining read. Considering all the horrifying events Squire covers, from plagues to witch burnings, it's amazing how many times she made me laugh. A fresh and provocative look at how western civilization and religion have shaped contemporary mating. I can't believe I got married without knowing all this.