Customer Reviews

I Loved a Girl: A Private Correspondence

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Earlier this year, a man I respected gave me a copy of Trobisch's book Love is a Feeling to be Learned. It was very challenging. When the former pastor of my church gave me a copy of I Loved a Girl a few weeks ago, I was excited to read it. I was not disappointed.

This is a chronological collection of letters between two young lovers from Cameroon and their pastor, Trobisch. Initially the concern is the nature and place of sex--"knowing" a woman--it quickly turns to much deeper matters: those of true love and what it really means to fight for a woman's heart. I started reading it last night and stayed up until I finished it, which is rare for me. If you want one book to succintly drive home straight talk about sex, relationships, love, and pursuing your beloved, then this is it!

I really appreciate all parties' transparency and candor in the letters that were written; these are real letters from real people struggling with real issues. Beware: you will be moved and challenged!

Also, I've found that this might be a great book to give to someone considering Christianity but wary of its "outdated" morality. Trobisch really highlights the beauty and purpose of taking male-female relationships God's way instead of man's way.

C. S. Lewis said that by talking incessantly about it, our age has managed the unimaginable feat of making sex boring. One would add that by making sex casual, we have made the the central act of communion between a man and a woman emotionally barren and spiritually empty. The two young Africans whose letters shape this book have a lesson about love and hope for us, medicine for a cynical, aimless, and jaded people.

Walter and Ingrid Trobisch were a missionary couple in Cameroon (a former German and then French colony in West Africa) in the 1960s. Francois, a young African man they had known from the mission school, writes to Pastor Trobisch for advice on what to do after being fired from his job.

Along the way, he meets and falls in love with Cecile, a clever and courageous young Christian woman whose family demands a bride price of $400--an impossible fortune for an unemployed youth.

"I Loved a Girl" consists of excerpts from the private letters of Francois, Cecile, and the Trobisches, which tell better than any description the struggles they had in overcoming their situation and the way in which their submission to Christ's will in their lives led them to joy.

This is a profoundly moving book, and an inspiration to all of us not to lose the mystery of Eros, in its right place at the heart of Christian marriage, and not to settle for less than the best God has for us.

C. S. Lewis said that by talking incessantly about it, our age has managed the unimaginable feat of making sex boring. One would add that by making sex casual, we have made the the central act of communion between a man and a woman emotionally barren and spiritually empty. The two young Africans whose letters shape this book have a lesson about love and hope for us, medicine for a cynical, aimless, and jaded people.

Walter and Ingrid Trobisch were a missionary couple in Cameroon (a former German and then French colony in West Africa) in the 1960s. Francois, a young African man they had known from the mission school, writes to Pastor Trobisch for advice on what to do after being fired from his job.

Along the way, he meets and falls in love with Cecile, a clever and courageous young Christian woman whose family demands a bride price of $400--an impossible fortune for an unemployed youth.

"I Loved a Girl" consists of excerpts from the private letters of Francois, Cecile, and the Trobisches, which tell better than any description the struggles they had in overcoming their situation and the way in which their submission to Christ's will in their lives led them to joy.

This is a profoundly moving book, and an inspiration to all of us not to lose the mystery of Eros, in its right place at the heart of Christian marriage, and not to settle for less than the best God has for us.

A lot is being said about love but too little about LOVE. The term 'love' has been so cheapened that it is almost meaningless. Yet, when reading "I Loved a Girl", one discovers the purity and innocence of this God-given fruit of the Spirit as well as the ways of keeping it sacred and preventing it from losing its true meaning.

From the beginning a reader is hooked by the frank exchange of the pastor (Walter Trobisch) and Francois, and must continue reading. What follows is a true story of two young Africans who fall in love with each other, and who desperately seek help in building their mutual relationship. Pastor and his wife are always there to support these young unexperienced souls, who are pouring their hearts out in hope of God's guidance. Whether they succeed or not is left up to the reader's consideration, based upon his or her ladder of values and moral standards.

But "I Loved a Girl" is more than a love story. This compilation of letters displays the writer's seemingly boundless talent for exploring the human soul with understanding, and indeed with compassion. Not only did he do his best in giving a helping hand to two young individuals, he was willing to compile the letters and so create a unique 'handbook' for thousands of readers. Mr. Trobisch has painted a beautiful portrait of love which, if respected and treasured in God's sight, is never to fail.

Katarina Hannelova (sswaskin@aol.com), Richmond, Virginia

This is an excellent story about real people who have real struggles and yet, through it all, are seeking God and His will. Francois is a modern day Jacob who wrestles with God and refuses to give in until God blesses him. All the people in this story disappoint at one time or another. However, that serves to illustrate God's love and faithfulness all the more. It is a true example of Romans 8:28 - All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Because the book is a compilation of private letters, there is a real sense of the pain and struggle that Francois is going through, and of the sympathy and compassion of Pastor Trobisch. One can easily relate to the characters.

As one aspiring to become a pastor this book was incredibly helpful, the compassion that Pastor Trobisch shows toward Francois while at the same time being firm and clearly and convincingly discussing Biblical principles regarding sex, love, and marriage, is truly moving. It was an excellent example of how to counsel someone who is truly struggling and seeking God.

And as a young man myself, it was helpful to see I have a brother who struggles with love, hope, and disappointment. The words Pastor Trobisch writes to Francois were very helpful and encouraging to me as well.

Some secondary issues: Because Francois is a young African man, the problems he faces, and the interaction between him and Pastor Trobisch - a European missionary - has an added color which both makes the story interesting and demonstrates the difficultly of trying to balance Biblical principles, and respecting cultural traditions. Furthermore, Francois, despite being spiritually immature in many issues demonstrates a remarkable understanding for the importance of the Lord's Supper which is lacking in most Western evangelical churches. Also, church discipline comes up a number of times and demonstrates the human tendency to be a pendulum. The African churches misuse church disciple, using it to punish instead of draw people to repentance (I Cor. 5). At the same time, it is obvious that the Western church has neglected the use of church discipline out of fear of misusing it. It should be noted that although the African church was too strict and unforgiving, Francois would not have been driven to write to Pastor Trobisch if he had not be disciplined. By neglecting church discipline churches damage their members instead of showing them grace and mercy.

This is an excellent book, and, although not without its faults, certainly worth the money and time. I strongly recommend it.

This book is one I think everyone should read. It is inspirational, and expresses in totality what true love really is.
"I Loved A Girl" is a book of private letters written between two young Africans, Francois and Cecile and their Pastor. In these letters they express their unconditional love for each other combined with the love of Christ.
This is definitly a story that should be shared with couples, or those who ever been in love.

Every teenager should read this book. It is straight to the point. The moment you open the book, it has you enchanted! It isn't even long! I finished it in a day. Nobody will be intimitated by it. It is a great book!

I thought this was one of the most inspirational books ive
read about relationships between young men and women. It really
changed my perspective about women and how they need to be
thought of and respected. Although it is about a relationship
between two young african people I was able to relate to it
especially through the counsel of Walter Trobisch. This man
was in my opinion a rare individual with many wise insights
about people. It also led me to read other of his books.
While I didnt agree totally with everything he says there
is one passage where he tells Franscois? sp? about what
it means to love a woman. He describes with passion how
one should only say the words, `I love you` to someone
very special. It touched my life and I still think of it
when think of what it means to commit to someone with
my whole life.

Every parent in America should have this book and give it to his teenage son or daughter. Beautifully written, explaining that true love waits and seeks what is best for his future spouse. All the right reasons given for not engaging in sex before marriage. Not prudish, but written in frank, yet reverent respect for the gift of sex from our heavenly father. Even if you are not a reader but tv watcher, you will not be able to put this book down from the opening chapter. The book is riveting. You can't wait for the next letter ansering the various questions. Trobisch is in a class by himself. Every person engaged in counseling should read this book!

I read this book 32 years ago at age 19. Its powerful clear message gripped my heart then and has remained a benchmark of true love for my relationship with my wife and our children as they one by one work through the process of choosing a mate. After 28 years of marriage, I find Walter's message in "I Loved A Girl" rich and helpful.