I Rant, Therefore I Am [Paperback]

Dennis Miller (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 5, 2001

Once again there's good news for those of us who rage at the evening news, shake our heads at Washington's business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom helplessly between political crises and sex scandals: Dennis Miller is back with his third installment of hilarious observations, I Rant, Therefore I Am.

Dennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically agreed: "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television.

The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds.

Dennis Miller keeps on ranting in I Rant, Therefore I Am, and speaks his mind on topics like:

MODELS-"How ironic that the most exquisite-looking people in the world should end up choosing the profession that requires them to spend all day by the phone waiting for the most hideous people to call them."

COLLEGE-"I don't think you should have to pay back college loans unless you get a job in your field. Put some pressure on the school. If I can't pay my bills, I'm not paying yours."

CONSUMERS-"You know how to tell when you've got a shopping problem? When the lights in the department store momentarily dim after they slide your credit card through the thing."

FAITH-"I envy people who can just let go and totally commit. I, on the other hand, can't even hear the title of the show 'Touched by an Angel' without thinking that a professional baseball player is being sued for sexual harassment."

ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who would strap themselves onto a giant deodorant spray can, set off a series of explosions under their ass until they've been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep space, and then step outside to take a walk must have more balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo driving range."

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The third entry in Emmy-winning Miller's witty and cynical ranting series (after The Rants and Ranting Again) features 53 monologues, an armada of satirical projectiles. Beginning each fast-paced session with the line "Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here" and closing with "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong," Miller touches on everything from affirmative action to bad taste. He also weighs in on capital punishment, college ("the last convenience store before the desert of responsibility"), consumerism, cops, country music ("Branson, Missouri... where plastic pink flamingos migrate for the winter"), the death of eccentricity, doctors ("When you're not insured, doctors act like you've got some kind of a disease or something"), the end of privacy, fear of flying ("Every flight I'm on there's a screaming baby. Me"), Jerry Springer ("the Yoda of Daytime"), network news, the Oscars, paranoia, talk radio, taxes, workaholics ("power-suited desk jockeys") and wrestling ("To call pro wrestling a sport is akin to calling... Hillary Clinton a New Yorker"). All in all, the volume makes it clear why Miller's fans chant "The rants, the rants, the rants!" when he walks onstageAthey're fun and smart. Even so, in future publications Miller might consider including transcripts from some of his show's incisive celebrity interviews. Of course, that's just our opinion. We could be wrong. (June)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

First, there was The Rants (1996). Then there was Ranting Again (1998). And now, this. Can nothing stop this man? As long as his collections of monologues from his HBO show become best-sellers, probably not. Surely we all know the drill by now. Just about every one of these suckers begins "Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but," and ends, "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong." Never were more insincere words spoken. Which is precisely the point. Miller has made quite a career out of superficial cynicism. It isn't so much that he doesn't believe in anything as it is that he doesn't say anything worth believing. Mostly he calls celebrities names, mocks popular movies and TV programs, trashes trends, and glues the name-calling, mockery, and dissing together with the excretory expletive. It is possible to see him as the latest figure in the line of public affairs humorists that includes Mark Twain, Will Rogers, and Bob Hope. In fact, if you think the progression from Twain to Rogers to Hope is actually a retrogression, maybe even a degradation, it is easy to place Miller next in the series. From genius to perpetual potty-mouthed 13-year-old in less than a century and a half--that's entertainment, American style! Ray Olson
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Broadway (June 5, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 076790575X
• ISBN-13: 978-0767905756
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,094,098 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny, Pure Dennis, December 10, 2000

By 

James F. Lacher "San Diego Native" (Littleton, CO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Rant, Therefore I Am (Hardcover)

If you like Dennis Miller on HBO, you will of course enjoy this book. I rarely get a chance to see his show so this book was perfect for me.

When Miller was making headlines this summer with his addition to MNF I thought I'd get his latest rants. I was glad I did. The thing I like about this book is that you can pick it up at anytime and have yourself a good laugh. Each chapter is only 4-5 pages long. You don't have to remember what you read the last time you picked up the book because each chapter is a different rant.

The only thing I didn't like about this book is that it is all from the tv show. So there is no original material here. If I happened to have seen that episode the book isn't quite as funny.

Overall, if you are a Dennis Miller fan, it is definitely worth the price. But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong!

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Nice breather between longer audiobooks, and funny, too, July 16, 2000

By 

Joseph P. Menta, Jr. (Philadelphia, PA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I Rant, Therefore I Am (Audio Cassette)

I often listen to long unabridged audiobooks (usually in the car) of titles I simply don't have time to otherwise read. Between those long titles, I enjoy taking a breather to enjoy a shorter, punchier audio, like a four-cassette mystery anthology or a one or two tape comedy production. "I Rant, Therefore I Am" was a fun example of the latter. Funny stuff, here. I especially enjoyed the way Miller varied his rants' subject matter between lofty topics like the war on drugs to everyday stuff like pets. And I had to smile when I heard that Miller wasn't above doing a rant about a topic covered by nine hundred comedians nine hundred and ten times before: the trials and tribulations of air travel (it was one of the funnier rants, too). A minor quibble is that one or two rants should have been done again from the top due to a frog suddenly materializing in Miller's throat halfway into a rant (though even this was a bit fun, as it generated entertaining suspense as we wonder if he will make it to the end before his voice TOTALLY breaks up). Also, there were one or two instances where the dramatic emphasis was placed on the wrong word, thus weakening the strength of the punchline. But again, this is minor stuff, which somehow even contributed to the organic feel of the piece, reminding us that it's a real guy out there complaining about all this stuff. I didn't mind that the tape is abridged, either. The weaker rants from the book were left behind, leaving us with Miller performing aloud all the good ones. Survival of the fittest, after all!

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Who Should We Elect President?, June 15, 2000

By 

Alexander R. Small (Pomona, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I Rant, Therefore I Am (Hardcover)

You know, the voters recently over-looked a war-hero and a comedian seeking the write-in vote in favor of two untalented sons of power. Now I don't mean to get off on a rant here, but it's clear to me that Dennis Miller is the only person in this country (besides John McCain) with enough common sense to occupy the upcoming vacancy in Bill Clinton's bachelor pad.

This guy has wit and wisdom on everything under the sun in an oratory style that has every aspiring comedian taking furous notes. He balances topics like "The Need for Reason" and "The End of Accountability" with whimsical musings on "Talk Shows" and "Pets." I can't find anything lacking here. Even the music is better than in "Ranting Againt." Seriously folks, this is a better buy than the IPO of a joint venture by Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and King Midas.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.