I Take This Man [Kindle Edition]

Valerie Frankel (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Veteran chick lit and YA author Frankel (Hex and the Single Girl; Fringe Girl) delivers a kooky romp about a wedding gone very awry. Penny Bracket, a spoiled new-money Jersey girl, hates her $15,000 wedding dress, but loves her fiancé, Bram Shiraz. So when she receives an "I can't go through with it" note from Bram just before she's due to march down the aisle, she's upset. Penny's mother, Esther, couldn't be happier—Bram, she thought, never was right for Penny—but maternal rage takes over, and when she finds him packing his suitcase in his hotel room, she knocks him out with a champagne bottle and whisks his unconscious body to a hidden room in her mansion. While Penny tries to mend her broken heart by shopping with best friend Vita, Bram's father, Keith, gets hot on Esther's tail—er, trail—as he searches for Bram. Esther's attraction to Keith thaws her icy heart for the first time since the long-ago mysterious death of her cheating husband, Russell. Secrets are revealed, heads are cracked, and protection orders are issued as Keith realizes Esther kidnapped his son, and Penny learns the reason Bram left her. A too-swift and confusing climax gives way to a haltingly fluffy ending. Frankel's latest is clumsily over-the-top yet insubstantial. (Apr.)
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Product Description

Here comes the bride . . . there goes the groom.

Penny Bracket waited two years to marry dream man Bram Shiraz. Then on the morning of the Big Day, while she's trying on her veil, Penny receives the worst two-line letter of her life: "Penny, I can't go through with it. Sorry, Bram."

Penny's hurt and upset. But Esther, Penny's divorced mom, wants Bram's head on a platter. So Mom ambushes the cold-footed coward before he hot-foots it out of town, bonks him on the head with a champagne bottle, and spirits him away to a hidden room in her gargantuan mansion in Short Hares, New Jersey. Esther doesn't want much. All Bram has to do is write personal, heartfelt apologies to each of the two hundred disappointed wedding guests . . . and eat every mouthful of the very expensive gourmet wedding feast that has gone to waste. Then he'll be free to leave.

Penny doesn't want Bram tortured. She just wants answers to "why" . . . and maybe a little revenge. Will she discover her runaway groom is locked away in the attic? Will Bram's widowed father—handsome tough-guy Keith Shiraz—be able to locate his missing son . . . and maybe seduce Esther Bracket in the bargain? Will Bram be able to maintain his athletic figure after consuming two hundred entrÉes and thousands of baby quiches? Read on!

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Product Details

• Format: Kindle Edition
• File Size: 224 KB
• Publisher: HarperCollins e-books (October 13, 2009)
• Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
• Language: English
• ASIN: B000OVLJSM
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #249,994 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

More About the Author

Valerie Frankel has written twenty-five books, and hopes to write many more. For more info about her books, magazine articles, cats, kids, life in Brooklyn, reviews of other people's books, go to www.valeriefrankel.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars I Take This Man, July 20, 2010

By 

Jessica_G - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Take This Man: A Novel (Paperback)

I'm a little upset I bought this book, even though it was in the bargain section- I still paid $5 which I think is $5 too much. If your local library has it then I would maybe check it out but there are so many other great chick-lit books out there. It was over the top and I realize that it's not supposed to be very realistic but it was borderline outrageously ridiculous and the ending was weird....

4.0 out of 5 stars Lots of fun, April 27, 2007

By 

Bearette24 (New York, NY) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: I Take This Man: A Novel (Paperback)

This was a very funny book. It wasn't very believable, but as long as you don't take it too literally, you'll have a great time.

It's the story of Penny, a bride who is dumped at the altar. Her mother, believing (falsely, as it turns out) that Penny was beaten as well as jilted by her fiance Bram, knocks Bram over the head with a champagne bottle and smuggles him into a secret room in her mansion. He's forced to stay there until he writes an apology note to every single guest at the wedding AND eats all the leftover food that would have been served at the reception. Of course, his athletic physique is shot.

There's a subplot involving Penny's mother and Bram's father, who doesn't know that his new paramour is holding his son captive.

Meanwhile, Penny learns why Bram abandoned her, and the whole situation comes to a ridiculous but entertaining climax.

If you liked Valerie Frankel's other books, you'll probably enjoy this one.

3.0 out of 5 stars Chick Lit with a Punch.....Literallly!, April 20, 2007

By 

Stephanie Toland "stephlee77" (Peoria, IL) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I Take This Man: A Novel (Paperback)

Because I have read a few books by Valerie Frankel and usually find them light and funny, I picked up this book. And it was no exception. Cute and light...although it does have shades of darkness!

Penny's wedding day is supposed to be the best day of her life. But instead of walking down the aisle with the man of her dreams, she finds herself deserted at the altar! Five minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start, she gets a note from Bram, her fiancee, that says he is sorry and couldn't go through with it. Penny's mother Ester is usually calm, cold and collected. But even though she never approved of Bram, she is seeing red when he dumps her daughter. So she heads up to his suite to find out what is going on. In an uncharacteristic moment of spontaneity, Ester hits Bram over the head with a bottle of champagne! She throws his body into a housekeeping cart and secrets him back to her mansion. There, she and Natasha, the ex-Russian Mail-order-Bride turned housekeeper, hide him in the old "playroom". This room just happens to be sound-proof, has an intercom system, and a two-way mirror used for observation.

There were quite a few laugh-out-loud moments in this one. The idea of Ester keeping Bram locked up until he eats 200 servings of prime rib and salmon, 28 lbs of shrimp cocktail, and a 4-tiered wedding cake that was SUPPOSED to be served at his wedding reception still makes me laugh! But the characters all start out a little flat, and it takes a long time for me to actually CARE what happens in the end. There is some mystery behind the death of Penny's father that is finally explained. I did like the dialog between Ester and Keith Shiratz, the would-be father of the groom. But I found the mother/daughter relationship between Ester and Penny to be a little too textbook. And the relationship between Penny and Bram just didn't work for me. Neither before the break-up or after. Not enough real life in this book.....but then again, I think that's the point. Chick Lit is escapism at best. And if that's all Frankel was aiming at, then she accomplished it. It was a cute book