Customer Reviews

I Take This Man

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I'm a little upset I bought this book, even though it was in the bargain section- I still paid $5 which I think is $5 too much. If your local library has it then I would maybe check it out but there are so many other great chick-lit books out there. It was over the top and I realize that it's not supposed to be very realistic but it was borderline outrageously ridiculous and the ending was weird....

This was a very funny book. It wasn't very believable, but as long as you don't take it too literally, you'll have a great time.

It's the story of Penny, a bride who is dumped at the altar. Her mother, believing (falsely, as it turns out) that Penny was beaten as well as jilted by her fiance Bram, knocks Bram over the head with a champagne bottle and smuggles him into a secret room in her mansion. He's forced to stay there until he writes an apology note to every single guest at the wedding AND eats all the leftover food that would have been served at the reception. Of course, his athletic physique is shot.

There's a subplot involving Penny's mother and Bram's father, who doesn't know that his new paramour is holding his son captive.

Meanwhile, Penny learns why Bram abandoned her, and the whole situation comes to a ridiculous but entertaining climax.

If you liked Valerie Frankel's other books, you'll probably enjoy this one.

Because I have read a few books by Valerie Frankel and usually find them light and funny, I picked up this book. And it was no exception. Cute and light...although it does have shades of darkness!

Penny's wedding day is supposed to be the best day of her life. But instead of walking down the aisle with the man of her dreams, she finds herself deserted at the altar! Five minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start, she gets a note from Bram, her fiancee, that says he is sorry and couldn't go through with it. Penny's mother Ester is usually calm, cold and collected. But even though she never approved of Bram, she is seeing red when he dumps her daughter. So she heads up to his suite to find out what is going on. In an uncharacteristic moment of spontaneity, Ester hits Bram over the head with a bottle of champagne! She throws his body into a housekeeping cart and secrets him back to her mansion. There, she and Natasha, the ex-Russian Mail-order-Bride turned housekeeper, hide him in the old "playroom". This room just happens to be sound-proof, has an intercom system, and a two-way mirror used for observation.

There were quite a few laugh-out-loud moments in this one. The idea of Ester keeping Bram locked up until he eats 200 servings of prime rib and salmon, 28 lbs of shrimp cocktail, and a 4-tiered wedding cake that was SUPPOSED to be served at his wedding reception still makes me laugh! But the characters all start out a little flat, and it takes a long time for me to actually CARE what happens in the end. There is some mystery behind the death of Penny's father that is finally explained. I did like the dialog between Ester and Keith Shiratz, the would-be father of the groom. But I found the mother/daughter relationship between Ester and Penny to be a little too textbook. And the relationship between Penny and Bram just didn't work for me. Neither before the break-up or after. Not enough real life in this book.....but then again, I think that's the point. Chick Lit is escapism at best. And if that's all Frankel was aiming at, then she accomplished it. It was a cute book

On the day they were to exchange I do, Bram Shiraz informs Penny Bracket that he cannot marry her, leaving her a note saying he is sorry and not much more. Penny is upset especially since Bram did not have the guts to face her; after all they were seeing one another for two years so he owed her that much.

While Penny wants to know why, her mother Esther, distrustful of men, is outraged by Bram's cowardly negative. She confronts him with a champagne bottle to his head and takes Bram prisoner to her Short Hares, New Jersey vast estate. Esther demands Bram write a personal note apologizing to each of the more than two hundred guests and eat every piece of the massive expensive wedding food that Esther has had shipped to her estate. Bram's widowed father Keith searches for his suddenly vanished son to learn why also. All roads lead to Esther Bracket, but no evidence of his son seems anywhere so perhaps a seduction is in order to obtain the facts.

This tale is obviously over the top but readers will enjoy this zany contemporary romantic comedy. The story line is fast-paced once Esther performs the abduction and never slows down not even for a seduction or a bite or two zillion. The CIA will want to hire Esther as her form of torture (eating quiche for 200 plus guests) make rendition obsolete. Fans will enjoy Valerie Frankel's fun lighthearted romp.

Harriet Klausner