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Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited [Paperback]

Elyse Schein , Paula Bernstein
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (103 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 14, 2008
Elyse Schein had always known she was adopted, but it wasn’t until her mid-thirties while living in Paris that she searched for her biological mother. What she found instead was shocking: She had an identical twin sister. What’s more, after being separated as infants, she and her sister had been, for a time, part of a secret study on separated twins.
Paula Bernstein, a married writer and mother living in New York, also knew she was adopted, but had no inclination to find her birth mother. When she answered a call from her adoption agency one spring afternoon, Paula’s life suddenly divided into two starkly different periods: the time before and the time after she learned the truth.
As they reunite, taking their tentative first steps from strangers to sisters, Paula and Elyse are left with haunting questions surrounding their origins and their separation. And when they investigate their birth mother’s past, the sisters move closer toward solving the puzzle of their lives.

Praise for Identical Strangers:

Winner of a Books for a Better Life Award

“Remarkable . . . powerful . . . [an] extraordinary experience . . . The reader is left to marvel at the reworking of individual identities required by one discovery and then another.”
–Boston Sunday Globe

“[A] poignant memoir of twin sisters who were split up as infants, became part of a secret scientific study, then found each other as adults.”
–Reader’s Digest (Editors’ Choice)

“[A] fascinating memoir . . . Weaving studies about twin science into their personal reflections . . . Schein and Bernstein provide an intelligent exploration of how identity intersects with bloodlines. A must-read for anyone interested in what it means to be a family.”
–Bust

“Identical Strangers has all the heart-stopping drama you’d expect. But it has so much more–the authors’ emotional honesty and clear-eyed insights turn this unique story into a universal one. As you accompany the twins on their search for the truth of their birth, you witness another kind of birth–the germination and flowering of sisterly love.”
–Deborah Tannen, author of You’re Wearing That?

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this transfixing memoir, Bernstein, a freelance writer, and Schein, a filmmaker, take turns recounting the story of how each woman, at age 35, discovered she had an identical twin sister, and the reunion that followed. Despite disparate upbringings, education and work experiences, the twins share matching wild hand gestures, allergies, speech patterns and a penchant for the same art movies. Louise Wise Services, the adoption agency, will reveal only that their biological mother was schizophrenic and unaware of who their father was. Records of the study the agency conducted about them are sealed, so the authors spearhead their own research project by poring over birth records, tracking down their birth mother's brother and interviewing researchers, who claim that twins raised apart are more similar than those raised together. Much of the book is devoted to fascinating stories of other twins and triplets who, when reunited as adults, are shocked by how much they have in common with one another. Bernstein and Schein's relationship becomes extremely close and also fraught with expectation. Once you find someone, Bernstein writes, you can't unfind her. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

About the Author

Elyse Schein is a writer and filmmaker. Her short films “I Steal Happiness” and “Private Dick” have been shown at the Telluride Film Festival and at cinemas in Prague and San Francisco. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she studied film at FAMU, Prague’s Film and TV School of the Academy of Performing Arts. She has also worked as an English teacher, photographer, and translator. Schein lives in Brooklyn.

Paula Bernstein is a freelance writer whose work has been published in The New York Times, New York, The Village Voice, and Redbook, among other publications. Formerly a reporter at Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, Bernstein has also been a regular contributor to CNN. A graduate of Wellesley College, she has a master’s degree in cinema studies from New York University. Bernstein lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two daughters.


From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Random House Trade Paperbacks; Reprint edition (October 14, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0812975650
  • ISBN-13: 978-0812975659
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (103 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #256,023 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

If you have ever questioned nature vs. nurture, this is the book for you. Shelleyville  |  11 reviewers made a similar statement
This book was selected for our book club and was the best one I have read all year. Susan T.  |  12 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
59 of 64 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Half way through "Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited" by Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein, one twin asks the other: "If your family had raised me and mine had raised you, would I be you and would you be me?" By the end of the book, the reader clearly understands the answer is "no." It is worth reading the whole book to find out why. But a far more compelling reason to read the book is this: we are all suckers for reunion stories, and perhaps there is no more fascinating reunion story than one between identical twins reunited after half a lifetime of not knowing that they had a twin. That is what drew me so strongly to this book, and on this score, too, the book delivers nicely.

Elyse and Paula were adopted by separate families completely unaware that their daughters had an identical twin being raised by another family located in the same city. The girls reunite in 2003 when they are 35 years old. The book is their joint memoir about their difficult reunion and the resulting deep bond that slowly, and at times painfully, develops between them.

Their story is highly personal, heart-felt, and deeply emotional. Plus there are mysteries at the core that compel you to find out more. Who was their mother? Why did she abandon them? Who are their biological family? Where are they?

Halfway through their investigation, the twins discover a dark side to their particular adoption. With dogged journalistic skills they uncover every lead until they finally arrive at the truth. You'll be thoroughly surprised to learn the true reasons behind their unusual adoptions...and you can't help but be proud of their perseverance. These are two extremely bright and tough women.

Identical Strangers is excellent journalism made personal. Both woman write compelling first-person narratives and are not embarrassed to expose their true feelings. The alternating first person narratives falter from time to time, when each twin switches gears to incorporate summary academic findings about twins reared apart or the nature-vs.-nurture debate. But this information is useful and it is covered in an easy-to-understand, nonscientific manner.
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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
You can't make up a story like this---35 year old women discover they are identical twins separated in their first year by an adoption agency with possibly questionable motives (they are connected with a study of separated twins which might or might not involve mental illness). They find they both have studied film and have many other similarities, and start on the journey of getting to know each other and to discover more about their past. It was a book that HAD to be written! And for the most part, it's interesting reading.

However, somehow I found the book strangely dry and not as much as a page turner as the situation would make it seem it would be. I can't quite put my finger on the problem---I think it has a lot to do with the fact that so much of the book deals with the twin's feelings about each other and their uncertain feelings about having their lives changed by having a twin. This would certainly be an issue, but it's not really, for me anyway, that interesting to read about. There is also much about their body image issues, which are quite similar, but again, not really page turningly interesting.

The format of the book is a back and forth telling by Paula and Elise, the twins, in turn. We get information about a happening first from one and then from the other. I think the twins are more alike than they wish to think, as often it feels like reading the same thing twice! I think for parts of the book anyway a combined telling might work better.

I don't mean to not recommend the book. I certainly do---it's really an amazing story. Maybe a tiny bit more editing would have made it even better.
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26 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fascinating Book on a Fascinating Topic October 2, 2007
Format:Hardcover
This is a fascinating book for anyone who has ever fantasized about finding a long-lost twin...to the authors of this book, separated at birth and adopted by different families, this actually happened. What is surprising and intriguing about the book is that it is not merely a warm reunion story---it lays bare the complications of suddenly discovering someone who resembles oneself and yet remains on some level a stranger. Although it is overall a positive book, after reading it one realizes that the long-lost-twin fantasy isn't necessarily as simple or as glorious in real life as it may be in imagination.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars AMAZING
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SOMETHING LIKE THIS COULD HAPPEN. THE STORY WAS GREAT AND THE BOOK WAS EASY TO READ AND WELL WRITTEN. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Karen M.
4.0 out of 5 stars fascinating study of twins
I've always been fascinated by the phenomenon of the twin relationship, having had friends who are twins, and having known several pairs. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Montana Gramma
5.0 out of 5 stars great transaction
I haven't had a chance to read this yet but the subject sounds intriguing. It is in my piles of must reads.
Published 8 months ago by linda
4.0 out of 5 stars Unbelievable story
Hy husband and I listened to this book while on vacation and driving. I choose different books than I would normally choose when I know they're for both of us. Read more
Published 9 months ago by L. M. Bays
4.0 out of 5 stars Raise your hand if YouTube brought you here
I have no idea what I was surfing on YouTube in order for their video from a talk show to come up on my sidebar, but I watched the interview and, once I heard they had written a... Read more
Published 11 months ago by IcyH
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!
You have to admire a person or persons who are willing to take a step into the great unknown. Elyse Schien and Paula Bernstein are to be applauded for not only taking this step,... Read more
Published 12 months ago by J. Allen Prescott
4.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating read!
A fascinating true-story recounted by the twins themselves. Separated at birth and adopted by separate families who were not aware they were adopting one half of a set of twins,... Read more
Published 16 months ago by E. Mesker
5.0 out of 5 stars "Identical Strangers"
Loved this book from beginning to end. Great 'real life' story. Have recommended to a few friends who have experience raising twins...
Published on April 12, 2011 by bassl
1.0 out of 5 stars more like a magazine article than a book!
This book, written as a first person narrative, seems like a stretched out version of an article in Redbook! The point is made early on that they find one another. Read more
Published on March 3, 2011 by Carol Love
4.0 out of 5 stars What about Mom?
I'm only about 20% into the book but do have opinions already. As an adoptee under closed adoption (1950s) I can vouch for their experiences with that. Read more
Published on November 9, 2010 by W. Knight
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