Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited [Hardcover]

Elyse Schein (Author), Paula Bernstein (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 2, 2007

Elyse Schein had always known she was adopted, but it wasn’t until her mid-thirties while living in Paris that she searched for her biological mother. When Elyse contacted her adoption agency, she was not prepared for the shocking, life-changing news she received: She had an identical twin sister. Elyse was then hit with another bombshell: she and her sister had been separated as infants, and for a time, had been part of a secret study on separated twins.

Paula Bernstein, a married writer and mother living in New York, also knew she was adopted, but had no inclination to find her birth mother. When she answered a call from the adoption agency one spring afternoon, Paula’s life suddenly divided into two starkly different periods: the time before and the time after she learned the truth.

As they reunite and take their tentative first steps from strangers to sisters, Paula and Elyse are also left with haunting questions surrounding their origins and their separation. They learn that the study was conducted by a pair of influential psychiatrists associated with a prestigious adoption agency. As they investigate their birth mother’s past, Paula and Elyse move closer toward solving the puzzle of their lives.

In alternating voices, Paula and Elyse write with emotional honesty about the immediate intimacy they share as twins and the wide chasm that divides them as two complete strangers. Interweaving eye-opening studies and statistics on twin science into their narrative, they offer an intelligent and heartfelt glimpse into human nature.

Identical Strangers is the amazing story of two women coming to terms with the strange and unbelievable hand fate has dealt them, an account that broadens the definition of family and provides insight into our own DNA and the singularly exceptional imprint it leaves on our lives.

Imagine a slightly different version of you walks across the room, looks you in the eye and says “hello” in your voice. You discover that she has the same birthday, the same allergies, the same tics, and the same way of laughing. Looking at this person, you are able to gaze into your own eyes and see yourself from the outside. This identical individual has the exact same DNA as you and is essentially your clone.
We don’t have to imagine.
–from Identical Strangers

"A transfixing memoir."--Publishers Weekly
"Poignant."--Reader's Digest
"Absorbing."--Wired
"Fascinating . . . An intelligent exploration of how identity intersects with bloodlines. A must-read for anybody interested in what it means to be a family."--Bust

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this transfixing memoir, Bernstein, a freelance writer, and Schein, a filmmaker, take turns recounting the story of how each woman, at age 35, discovered she had an identical twin sister, and the reunion that followed. Despite disparate upbringings, education and work experiences, the twins share matching wild hand gestures, allergies, speech patterns and a penchant for the same art movies. Louise Wise Services, the adoption agency, will reveal only that their biological mother was schizophrenic and unaware of who their father was. Records of the study the agency conducted about them are sealed, so the authors spearhead their own research project by poring over birth records, tracking down their birth mother's brother and interviewing researchers, who claim that twins raised apart are more similar than those raised together. Much of the book is devoted to fascinating stories of other twins and triplets who, when reunited as adults, are shocked by how much they have in common with one another. Bernstein and Schein's relationship becomes extremely close and also fraught with expectation. Once you find someone, Bernstein writes, you can't unfind her. (Oct.)
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About the Author

Elyse Schein is a writer and filmmaker. Her short films “I Steal Happiness” and “Private Dick” have been shown at the Telluride Film Festival and at cinemas in Prague and San Francisco. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she studied film at FAMU, Prague’s Film and TV School of the Academy of Performing Arts. She has also worked as an English teacher, photographer, and translator. Schein lives in Brooklyn.

Paula Bernstein is a freelance writer whose work has been published in The New York Times, New York, The Village Voice, and Redbook, among other publications. Formerly a reporter at Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, Bernstein has also been a regular contributor to CNN. A graduate of Wellesley College, she has a master’s degree in cinema studies from New York University. Bernstein lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two daughters.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Random House; First Edition edition (October 2, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1400064961
• ISBN-13: 978-1400064960
• Product Dimensions: 6.5 x 1.1 x 9.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (96 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #416,970 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

50 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars An Engaging Story -- Highly personal, Heart-felt, and Deeply Emotional, October 2, 2007

By 

B. Case "InquiringMind" (Redondo Beach, CA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited (Hardcover)

Half way through "Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited" by Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein, one twin asks the other: "If your family had raised me and mine had raised you, would I be you and would you be me?" By the end of the book, the reader clearly understands the answer is "no." It is worth reading the whole book to find out why. But a far more compelling reason to read the book is this: we are all suckers for reunion stories, and perhaps there is no more fascinating reunion story than one between identical twins reunited after half a lifetime of not knowing that they had a twin. That is what drew me so strongly to this book, and on this score, too, the book delivers nicely.

Elyse and Paula were adopted by separate families completely unaware that their daughters had an identical twin being raised by another family located in the same city. The girls reunite in 2003 when they are 35 years old. The book is their joint memoir about their difficult reunion and the resulting deep bond that slowly, and at times painfully, develops between them.

Their story is highly personal, heart-felt, and deeply emotional. Plus there are mysteries at the core that compel you to find out more. Who was their mother? Why did she abandon them? Who are their biological family? Where are they?

Halfway through their investigation, the twins discover a dark side to their particular adoption. With dogged journalistic skills they uncover every lead until they finally arrive at the truth. You'll be thoroughly surprised to learn the true reasons behind their unusual adoptions...and you can't help but be proud of their perseverance. These are two extremely bright and tough women.

Identical Strangers is excellent journalism made personal. Both woman write compelling first-person narratives and are not embarrassed to expose their true feelings. The alternating first person narratives falter from time to time, when each twin switches gears to incorporate summary academic findings about twins reared apart or the nature-vs.-nurture debate. But this information is useful and it is covered in an easy-to-understand, nonscientific manner.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A stranger than fiction story---compelling even when the writing isn't, November 22, 2007

By 

Suzanne Amara (MA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited (Hardcover)

You can't make up a story like this---35 year old women discover they are identical twins separated in their first year by an adoption agency with possibly questionable motives (they are connected with a study of separated twins which might or might not involve mental illness). They find they both have studied film and have many other similarities, and start on the journey of getting to know each other and to discover more about their past. It was a book that HAD to be written! And for the most part, it's interesting reading.

However, somehow I found the book strangely dry and not as much as a page turner as the situation would make it seem it would be. I can't quite put my finger on the problem---I think it has a lot to do with the fact that so much of the book deals with the twin's feelings about each other and their uncertain feelings about having their lives changed by having a twin. This would certainly be an issue, but it's not really, for me anyway, that interesting to read about. There is also much about their body image issues, which are quite similar, but again, not really page turningly interesting.

The format of the book is a back and forth telling by Paula and Elise, the twins, in turn. We get information about a happening first from one and then from the other. I think the twins are more alike than they wish to think, as often it feels like reading the same thing twice! I think for parts of the book anyway a combined telling might work better.

I don't mean to not recommend the book. I certainly do---it's really an amazing story. Maybe a tiny bit more editing would have made it even better.

22 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Fascinating Book on a Fascinating Topic, October 2, 2007

By 

David Smith "David" (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited (Hardcover)

This is a fascinating book for anyone who has ever fantasized about finding a long-lost twin...to the authors of this book, separated at birth and adopted by different families, this actually happened. What is surprising and intriguing about the book is that it is not merely a warm reunion story---it lays bare the complications of suddenly discovering someone who resembles oneself and yet remains on some level a stranger. Although it is overall a positive book, after reading it one realizes that the long-lost-twin fantasy isn't necessarily as simple or as glorious in real life as it may be in imagination.