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If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation Hardcover – Bargain Price, April 17, 2007
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Top Customer Reviews
I read this book in two days and it was an incredibly compelling read for me. I am still in the recovery/wreckage assessment process after the ending of my own marriage to an emotionally and psychologically abusive man that completely decimated my self- esteem. The author's honesty is astonishing if not painful to read how she accepted her husband's humiliation and treatment of her as an object that he controlled (painful for me, since I did the same). Given on my own situation, this book was incredibly helpful for me to get some perspective on how I let myself remain in an abusive relationship. I too loved my husband deeply and went through a similar cycle of placating, then rebellion, then anger at his controlling, manipulative, jealous behavior. One of the hardest things for me in escaping the relationship has been having friends and family understand and accept what I went through. Like the author's marriage, from the outside we seemed like the perfect couple. Unlike the author, though, I rarely shared what was happening inside the marriage and my husband kept me isolated from friends and family like her husband did as well. It seems like if your husband does not physically beat you (my husband would get physically violent when he became enraged - shoving, pinning me down or up against a wall, grabbing me, poking me with his finger forcefully over and over in my chest - but he never punched in the eye or broke a bone or anything) then people don't seem to accept that you have been in an abusive relationship. My ex is the picture of charm and has a 'big teddy bear' persona about him to the outside world.Read more ›
the story of two sisters who definitely hook up with the wrong men,
but it's also an examination of how easily it is to become isolated
in one's own pain to the point where there are no options. Although
Amy Latus and her sister, author Janine, were close enough to talk a
few times a week, Amy never revealed how dire her situation was and
Janine only found out through a note, when it was too late. The
writing in this book is beautiful, but the most powerful element is
the poignancy of the author telling her story to save other women,
even if she couldn't save the sister she loved and thought she knew.
This is a stirring work of journalism and a very worthwhile read.
Janine Latus does a very good job in this memoir writing about the parallels in her marriage and her youngest sister's abusive relationship that ultimately ended in the sister's murder. The important thing to note is while the abuse that Janine suffered in her marriage was much more subtle and insidious than the outright murder of her sister, Amy, it was nonetheless just as damaging to the soul.
Latus unflinchingly explores the childhood and father that led both sisters to become involved with the wrong men.
This is an important read for most women and I think a very good book to suggest to a young woman who has just begun to date.
As noted in another review, this is JANINE'S story - the sister who survived - not the blow by blow account of how her sister Amy came to be murdered. So if you are a true crime/Ann Rule buff - this is not your book.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great read and interesting story.
Janine latus is an interesting woman with a tale of a life.
Great meeting her in Africa.
Really good book. Sad story but a good book. Please listen to your friends or family if they make off the wall remarks like this. It is a cry for help in most cases.Published 5 months ago by Rachel Smith
It is quite depressing when I reflect on some of the reviews for this book- people who complain about the misleading title, the "self absorption" of the author- I realize... Read morePublished 6 months ago by C. Park
Misleading title. I was expecting more about the murder victim in the vein of a true crime novel.Published 7 months ago by Gabriela M San Martin
Let's just say that I'm glad I rented this audiobook from the library. The title is seriously misleading. This story doesn't actually deal with Amy or her murder. Read morePublished 8 months ago by Randi N. Daniels
I am quite educated about domestic violence, yet it still perplexes me how a smart woman like Janine would have felt so capable of being unloved so as to withstand such abuse. Read morePublished 8 months ago by tcmac
NOTE: There are some ‘spoilers’ in my review.
I picked this book up at the thrift store, and I am so glad I did! Read more
This book leads you to believe it is going to be a book about her sister's life and tragic murder. It wasn't until chapter that she begins to talk about her sister's plight. Read morePublished 10 months ago by JasD
This book was gripping, and I thought the author did a wonderful job putting you in her place. I feel like I lived those moments with her. Read morePublished 12 months ago by Aaron Opie