Customer Reviews

If the Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path (Compass)

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Although, I do not know a lot about Buddhism (historic details as some of the other reviewers do), I can say I found the book an excellent, inviting and uplifting read. It impacted my relationship in a profound way. I think partly because it was not "clinical" nor written in an analytical style. The flow and read of the book was so wonderful, it brought down my defense mechanisms and made me consider what was most important. Each chapter deserves real think time -- and you may wish to read it together as a couple. Maybe a chapter each night before you go to bed.

It is a book of great enlightenment. It's what you do with it that counts. Several chapters struck a chord so deep, it moved me into a whole new realm. I can not give this book enough stars. I recommend it to all who are in a relationship and are striving to stay together over the long haul. You can spend a couple of bucks now, or a whole bunch later on therapy, post divorce.

First, this book does in fact deal with the fact that Buddha (the man) had been married and so on, reviews stating that this book does not include factual information on this are wrong (maybe written by people who read an earlier version? or not at all?)

Second, I can say from my own personal experience, that this book has raised my interest in exploring just what Buddhism actually is (as well as a few other religions mentioned in the book.)

Finally, and most important, I have found that what is written in this book is right! It's that simple. I've had exposure to couple's counseling, 12-step programs and more, and this book distills the esential elements of being a healthy person/couple in this dysfunctional world/society.

A great read for anyone who wants to strengthen a current relationship, dissect past relationships or plan for the future!

This doesn't really seem to be about Buddhism, but it is fabulous. My fiance and I read this book to each other almost every day. A few pages at a time, a small chapter: as we turn each page and read each word, this book speaks to us, unfolding the mysteries of being in a relationship. The book speaks often to the couple of getting into the "us place:" my advice is that you begin by reading the book together, and my belief is that, with this book, you will get there.
(To Charlotte: Thanks!)

When my wife and I get stressed out in our relationship, we sit down and one of us reads about a page out loud from "If the Buddha Married", then we talk about it, and about our own communication problems.

This book reduces our defensiveness, and opens the door for us to level with each other about our own communication glitches, and makes it easier to let each other know what is bothering us about the other's communication style.

I'd recommend it to any couple.

I really enjoyed this book and gave it to friends after I finished reading it the third time. Some of it is just common sense, but it has a very entertaining format and pearls of wisdom from many different philosopies. Not based on any one religion (despite the title) it is a good read for anyone interested in improving their relationship, starting a new one, or healing from the last one.

I picked up this book when my husband and I were having difficulties in our second year. We were missing many of the ideas in this book, particularly being mindful of each other's and our own needs. This book helped us get back on track and we saved our marriage. Two years later, we are much stronger than before and have a beautiful son too. It is a good book for us to keep handy too for the occasional refresher.

Other critiques are correct. There is not much serious Buddhist philosophy and it doesn't mention Buddha's family life, but the lessons are very helpful nonetheless.

I keep this book in my car, but my fiance has another copy in our house. We used it when we lived apart during my first year of medical school, and it was a wonderful way to keep us connected and talking about things a little more introspective than our days.

Despite the cheesy name, this book has brought more intimacy to my relationships with my parents and friends, as well as with my fiance. I love the suggestions in this book for arguing, or giving advice. I often just open the book to a random page to see what is written, and I love the insight it brings to my own life.

The dating book is more about, well, dating, but I think it had a nice section on breaking up, which happens in all kinds of relationships.

While the author points out some very important issues in a committed loving relationship (whether one is legally married or living common law, the same principles apply,)the book does not mesh with Buddhism. Buddha himself was married with a child and abandoned them in his quest for Enlightenment. The author does not even mention this very critical factor when she speaks of creating "enduring relationships."

I would read the book for the helpful advice it contains in strengthening committed relationships - the book is worth the price for that alone. However, when it comes to the Spiritual Journey, and as a long-time follower of Buddhist philosophy, I would question just how knowledgeable the author truly is in true Buddhist Philosophy or Buddha himself. For this reason the book lost a couple of stars in the rating.

My fiance and I read this book together. We both enjoyed the style of writing and the "sense" it made of so many common mistakes and misunderstandings. It was not only useful for partner related relationships, but was also a great guide for all life relationships. Definitely enjoyable :-)

There is lots of good stuff here, but it's not Buddhism. One of the best parts is the section on how to be a good listener. As a man (yes, a generalization is coming up), I sometimes am not the best listener in the world. The author's discussion of listening is very well done, and can help both men and women deal with that sometimes awkward period at the end of the day when someone wants to describe how horrible her co-worker is, etc. Other parts are really quite helpful as well.

That being said, however, and as the previous reviewer has clearly stated, this book is not at all focused on Buddhism or any Buddhist "approach." In fact, most of the little quotes the author offers are from Sufi mystics.

Like it or not, this "If the Buddha" thing (the author's previous book is "If the Buddha Dated") is a marketing gimmick, and nothing more.

What's next? "If the Buddha Ate Meat: Barbecuing with the Buddha"? Or "If the Buddha worked on Wall Street: Getting Rich in the Stock Market"?