Customer Reviews

If Looks Could Kill [VHS]

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Ok, this is a B-rated movie. It was panned in the reviews when it came out.

Still, it is one of my favorites. I even bought it after renting it. The class clown flunks French class, and ends up flying to Paris to salvage his grades, accompanied by the French-teacher-from-Hell. Once there, he is mistaken for a secret agent and ends up in a slapstick adventure. Next thing you know, he is soon sitting behind a Lamborgini complete with guns, parachute, and missiles, chasing a hot blonde babe.

It is a parody of the James Bond movies, that most will find mildly amusing. Most of my friends roll their eyes when I pull it off the shelf. Still, I think it is one of the greatest flicks ever made.

Alas, poor Yorik, I own no VCR, so I must recall upon ye olde memories of distant past. This movie portrays a brash but quick thinking high-school teen with a boring school, a boring teacher, a boring life. End of story, right? WRONG! SUDDENLY, CARS, GUNS DANGER, ADVENTURE, and WOMEN everywhere are all thrust into his lap, and things quickly begin getting a liiittle bit out of control. So much so in fact that the fate of all of Europe, nay, perhaps the fate of the ENTIRE CONTINENT OR WORSE lies in this hapless teenager's hands. Fortunately, he's not alone. He's been lined up with a great deal of out-of-this-world secret agent gadgets, not to mention a car souped enough to make a Campbells CEO drool and certain X-trordinarily gargantuan technology thieves drool as well. Yet he may not be able to pull it all off without the help of a certain someone... To find out who, you'll have to watch the movie. I am waiting for the DVD version, but if you haven't seen it at all, don't pass this baby up!

What are the odds of an airport mixing up your name with another person of the same name? That's what happened in this movie. Michael Corben and his buddies are headed to a field trip in France, but they are separated throughout most of the movie because of a mixup at the airport. While Michael is separated, he gets to work for British Intelligence. When he is with them, he gets to use all this nice equipment to chase bad guys. I don't want to give away anymore of the movie, so you have to go see it.

I remember seeing this movie when it originally came out in the cinemas - and I came out with a smile on my face. Its one of those silly but really enjoyable teen movies that were so popular in the 1980s (eg Ferris Buller's Day off or Real Genius) that aren't made any more.

This is still I think the best Bond parody movie I've seen - given how much else that has come out on DVD over the years I'm still amazed that this isn't available anywhere in the DVD format. If you run across an old tape (and still have a VHS player) its worth popping this in it for a watch. Don't take this serious and you'll enjoy yourself and if you've sat through a lot of genuine James Bond movies over the years then you'll probably really appreciate the riffs in this movie better - and wonder how you'd cope with Corbin's car if you ever ended up with one :)

Not like you see in today's parody movies, this film actually has a great storyline. Its an adventure, comedy, and spy movie all in one. Its just simply a very entertaining and fulfilling movie. Im surprised amazon does not have it on dvd.

This is one of the greatest movies of all time! Why is it not available on DVD? If this has been released on DVD at the time you are reading this review and I haven't updated this, please leave a comment and let me know as I want to own this classic movie on DVD! I have this on video but no longer own a video player. If you've still got a video player and haven't seen this then buy this on VHS, video may not be DVD but its better than nothing.

Although this was released in cinemas in 1991, poor marketing by Warner Bros meant it never achieved the success it should have on the big screen or even once released to video for that matter. Word of mouth however in subsequent years turned this film into a cult classic. I know my copy certainly did the rounds of the houses of pretty much every other kid I knew in the early 90s. When this is released in the future on DVD I have no doubt it will do same. Unfortunately for the film none of the actors in it have gone on to become megastars although you will certainly see a fair few of them in a vast number of films and supporting roles on TV shows.

So what's this great film about? Well basically it is a very well done teen parody of secret agent type films such as James Bond. Basically the CIA's top secret agent is killed by the minion Ilsa Grunt (played by Linda Hunt most famous as the principal in Kindergarten Cop) of the evil want to be ruler of Europe, supervillain Augustus Steranko (played by Roger Rees). With his plans about to come into fruition, and a fear he may know all their current agents identities, there's no time for a new CIA agent to be trained. Luckily there has been an agent deep undercover in the USA under the code name, Michael Corben. Unfortunately for the CIA, Steranko knows about him and Grunt is sent to dispose of him before he gets on the plane. Fortunately for the world though, Michael Corben (played by Richard Grienco best known for his former role as Officer Dennis Booker on 21 Jump Street) is also the name of a high school student who is failing French and needs to go to France with the French class to get extra credit to pass high school. He is also booked on the exact same flight. Since the British secret service don't know what the CIA agent looks like and Michael answers a phone call he thinks is from his mum before departure placed under the code name mother, it is naturally assumed he is Michael Corben, deep cover agent for the CIA.

Separated on the flight from the rest of the French class, Michael takes advantage of what he assumes is a mistake by the airline of a seat in first class. He tells the flight attendants to make sure he isn't bothered by some crazy woman who thinks she knows him but in reality is his angry teacher Mrs Grober (played by Robin Bartlett). Unbeknownst to Michael he is also protected by an armed CIA agent who unwittingly alerts Isla Grunt that she has not in fact killed her man as he places a gun against the head of the French teacher with what has now become the classic line - Stay Away From Michael Corben!

Whisked away at the airport by British Intelligence, Michael assumes they are busting him for sitting in first class and learns who they think he is. He's not going to play along until they show him his million dollar sports car, so he tells them, yes he is Michael Corben deep cover agent for the CIA. What follows is the funniest movie you'll ever see complete with spy gadgets such as X-ray sunglasses, a villain knocking out BO blast tuxedo and many others, all of which Michael of course has no idea how to use properly. His secret is only known by a beautiful girl called Mariska (played by Gabrielle Anwar) who pretty much keeps Michael on track of her murdered father's mission. Throw in the fact that his French class is mistaken by both sides to be enemy agents and his French teacher mistaken to be a deadly operative who must have got her name through teaching the French a lesson or two, and you've got the funniest action movie ever made.

If Looks Could Kill goes for 129 minutes and must surely come to DVD soon.

Note this movie was also released in the UK under the title Teen Agent so those searching for a DVD release may well want to look under that title on UK retailers sites under that name as well.

I've seen this over and over and it never fails to entertain me! It's a clean, classy movie with a lot of fast paced actions and a few laughs.

This movie may not be cast with big stars, but it is a movie I have watched at least once a year. This movie is also great for teacher's (language) to see with their class on, perhaps, the last day of school. It's cute, has some great action scenes and is loaded with suspense. Even my teen liked it. It may be considered a B movie, but it's great entertainment.

Viewed: 9/03, 5/08
Rate: 6

5/08: If Looks Could Kill intends to be a cult film that works well for the first hour and then goes downhill in final thirty minutes. I liked the premise, and much of the first hour was quite funny. Although Richard Grieco has the looks, his acting is minimal, and he can be annoying as a know-nothing idiot. His one-liners sometimes stink and are corny. No surprise to me, his career never took off, but it is a good thing that Johnny Depp's did. Robin Bartlett, who plays The French Teacher, was fine and natural in her role for time being, and then she gradually got worse to the point where I screamed, "Cut her out!" I question Roger Daltrey's cameo as Blade as he appears extremely stiff, even more so than a 2 by 4 wood. The story of If Looks Could Kill is not bad, but it needs work. I wanted to see more development in the mystery department and more subplots as well as obstacles. In other words, I would say that there is an execution problem because the last half hour seemed to be threadbare due to sporadic effort. Michael Corben just seems to be transported to where he should be rather too easily. Strange, whoever wore X-Ray glasses, there is no nudity shown in the film. I think that part is what was hurting the film: not enough going-over-the-line. Although XXX is not a unique picture of the genre, it did improve greatly in certain areas where If Looks Could Kill failed in. The ending of If Looks Could Kill is anticlimactic at best as Steranko went down far without much struggle. Overall, I find If Looks Could Kill fun, enjoyable, and wacky, but how about If Stupidity Could Kill? Lucky for Richard Grieco, I am pushing the rating of the movie from `3' to `6'.

The unlikely has happened; it appears there is more than one Michael Corben. One an agent for the CIA the other a French student (Richard Grieco) on class assignment to France. Is it possible that they can get their personalities crossed? And when the student is offered a fancy car to drive do you expect the confusion to be cleared? "I'm Michael Corben ---deep cover agent for the CIA"

All is going well; he gets to lead a 007 life with money, cars, and girls. Then reality sets in Michael and The French Teacher (Robin Bartlett) must team up to save Europe form a dastardly plan of the evil Steranko (Roger Rees) and his henchwoman (Linda Hunt.)

Will he succeed or is Europe doomed?

Gotcha!