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If I Love You, Am I Trapped Forever

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(Spoiler Alert)

I loved this book as a teenager. I am so sad it is out of print. The reason this book was so special to because it showed me how painful the concept of popularity in school was, and the person who held it could also lose it quickly. It was a good companion for the geeky reader I was. The hero or the anti-hero of the book was a tall socially inept Jewish boy, who through his writing, creativity and his newspaper seem to change the way the school and people within perceived themselves. What a concept! Through writing you can win.

But the in retrospect, the changes in Doom when he became popular also is a moral in power and corruption, yet at the same time, a call for the goodness in high school activities too. The boy who never played basketball and was above all the high school social things, falls in love, becomes a high school boy too. His intellectual demeanor slowly fades as he is more accepted by his classmates. The book questions, what is real within us versus the front we want to be perceived by.

Of all of ME Kerr's books I read, I think this one was the best in bring out the concept of how impermanent life in high school was, and no matter how much you liked it or not, it would be over and your life will start a new.

Anyway, all I can say is, this is another of ME Kerr's great books about life, and the complexities of it in a high school context, yet never allowing it to go too deep, dark and still celebrates youthfulness. Buy it when it comes around again.

Everything for 16-year-old Alan Bennett has been perfect so far. He's very popular, good-looking, and is now going steady with the beautiful senior, Leah Pennington. But all that changes when Duncan "Doomed" Stein, a gangly, homely loner, moves to Cayuta, New York. At first, he doesn't seem a threat to anyone, least of all Alan. But that's before he publishes his own newspaper, "Remote", and attracts all the "lonely hearts" at the high school with the anonymous dating ads. Soon everyone at Cayuta High is no longer interested in going steady with each other, but trying to find a more meaningful alternative to love. Alan and Leah, being the ideal couple, seem immune to this fad, until Alan reads the the love letter Doomed has given Leah. Then nothing makes sense to Alan anymore. Besides losing his girlfriend to the biggest dork in school, he has to struggle with the sudden reappearance of his deadbeat father, the crush he has on Doomed's beautiful mother, and the secret affair she has with Alan's football coach.

Although this book is geared more towards teens, it might be a little too deep for some younger readers. At least, when I was that age, I wasn't puzzling over the mysteries of love. But if you like teen stories that are more intellectual than most, then you might give this one a try.

This book deals with relationships and makes me feel secure in the fact that it'll be okay when you lose something or someone you thought you'd have forever. It made me re-think and re-evaluate my own morals.

This book has many of the usual hallmarks of M.E. Kerr teenage "problem novels", focusing on the interactions between teenage social freaks and teens who are very beautiful, accomplished and popular, with at least some of the characters coming from wealthy, dysfunctional families. The result is like what happens when Napoleon Dynamite enrolls in "Beverly Hills 90210".

In this book, Duncan Stein, a high school geek nicknamed "Doomed" (not in any goth sense either, he seems to just be some depressed teenage Jewish Woody Allen figure) becomes a social success at his new high school by rejecting all of the normal paths to high school acceptance, such as sports. Instead, he publishes a lonely hearts newsletter questioning whether there can really be any such thing as love or attachment in this mixed-up world. His publication is soon the talk of the school, and perversely, he ends up winning the love of the most beautiful and popular girl in school, Leah.

As usual in M.E. Kerr books, a story about a teenage nerd is told from the viewpoint of a relatively "normal" character, not from that of the nerd, so the book is not narrated by Doomed but instead by the handsome and popular "star jock, star writer, star everything" of the school, Alan. As the book begins, Alan is leading a seemingly charmed life as the biggest "star" in the senior class and Leah's steady boyfriend. But as the book goes on, we see some cracks in the surface. Alan's father is a deadbeat, and the closest thing in his life to a real father figure is his coach. Furthermore, Alan is strangely fascinated by Doomed, who he sees initially as an object of pity rather than a threat. You have to wonder why someone like Alan would care about getting to know Doomed unless he relates to him on some level. Sure enough, Doomed turns out to also come from a dysfunctional family - his father is a reformed drunk who was "rescued" by Doomed's beautiful mother. Alan gets a huge crush on Doomed's mother himself, then is horrified and heartbroken when he accidentally sees her in a romantic clinch with his coach. By the end of the book, Doomed and his family have disrupted or upset all of the carefully maintained assumptions Alan previously had about the conventions of love and life, and Doomed has basically stolen Alan's identity by pretending not to want it. You have to ask yourself if this was Doomed's plan all along in sort of an "All About Eve" high school twist, or was he really being true to his own feelings, and popularity and love just fell into his lap.

It's interesting to me that I didn't like this book at all when I was a teen, but I remember it pretty well many years later. One reason I think I remember it was that it was a relatively hard book for a 14-year-old to read and stay interested in. The scene where Alan catches Doomed's mother with the coach is confusingly written and I remember it taking me some minutes to figure out what was going on. Other information is presented obliquely; Doomed's feelings about his father and the story of him being a drunk come out via a composition in English class. As an adult I can appreciate these sophisticated writing techniques, but at the time it was just frustrating.

Also frustrating to me is the difficulty I had identifying with Kerr's characters. Alan isn't the "normal, average" narrator that Kerr uses in books like "Is That You, Miss Blue?" and "Dinky Hocker Shoots Smack." Alan is instead the star of the school, and a jock to boot. In high school I had no use for jocks and while I wasn't the most popular or gorgeous kid around, I wasn't the class nerd either, so I had very little sympathy for the story of the school hero being knocked off his pedestal. Furthermore, while I'd become used to Kerr's storylines about screwed-up parents, the idea of Alan, who is in a relationship with a gorgeous girl his own age, getting a crush on a middle-aged woman who then cheats on her husband with the coach who is, in essence, Alan's surrogate parent...well that was just gross. Again, as an adult I can totally see this situation happening, but as a young adult reader I just thought Alan was a big jerk for having feelings for an older married woman, and a classmate's mom to boot, when he should have been keeping true to his girlfriend Leah.

This can be understood as a simple story of "Revenge of the Nerds" or a much more complex story about the fragility of identity and how things are not always what they seem. It's not clear whether Doomed really believed everything he wrote in the newsletter or whether he was faking it in order to come out the social winner. Doomed extols his parents' marriage but his mother is actually having an affair. Alan's life looks perfect but underneath it's really not. In the end I think it's a complex story and probably requires the sensibilities of a 17+ reader to "get" it.

Alan is a typical high school teenager, dating the "It" Girl of his school. Suddenly, Duncan "Doomed" shows up and rocks his (and the entire student body's) world with his wacky newspaper detailing stories of star-crossed lovers and unfulfilled passion. How did this happen--a six-foot tall Jewish guy who refuses to play basketball ("Many people of the Jewish persuasion are wonderful athletes," well-meaning Alan tries to tell Duncan), becoming the most popular student in the school? All of this (as well as the subplot of Alan meeting his father for the first time) are interesting and realistic, but the last third becomes boring, as Alan falls in love with Duncan's mother, a gorgeous woman who couldn't possibly have given birth to such a Doomed creature, could she? Alan's love for "Catherine" just didn't ring true, and the fact that it ended on this storyline sort of brought down its previous promise.

If I Love You, I Am Trapped Forever? Is a great book. I highly recommend this book for many reasons. For instance, this book consists of life issues that grow though adolescence. With the problems of adolescence present in the book the advice to deal with such problems are present also. This is great for young readers looking for advise that may not be provided for them from other sources. This book isn't only a book yet it is a reference.

The book strengths were from relationship problems to family. This book has it all. This book keeps the readers attention. The way the book was written was very interesting and different. It frequently switched off from first person to third. This doesn't confuse most readers yet, it keeps you keyed in for more. It focused mainly on teenage male problems; which is great considering many books already written for women. It went in detail with the problem divorce and having a one parent home. That is a great topic, due to many books at that time not talking about it.

The book weaknesses are very minimum yet there are some. Firstly, the book needed much more detail about certain situations, which were presented. Secondly, it has the disadvantage of losing the readers' attention by not getting to the point. The book gave u hints leading to the situation. That is very confusing and should've been changed. Thirdly, the subject If I Love You, I Am Trapped Forever? Was mentioned at the near end and wasn't fully expressed. It should've have been written earlier and with more detail since it is the title of the book.

From strengths to weaknesses I still highly recommend this book for many people. It is ideal for teenage boys, teenage girls, and parents of teenagers. For teenagers it makes it interesting and is used as a advisor. The book can be used as an advisor for such reasons that it talks mainly about common teenage problems. That only makes a teenage keyed in. However, for parents, it gives them a chance to look back at their youth. With being able to look back it makes you realize how the problems have changed from past day to present. With that it opens many parents eyes on how to assist there children on dealing with such problems. It also makes parents aware of such new situations and how to deal with them.

To teenagers, parents, and readers; take this book home a read it now. It is filled with action, suspense, happiness, sadness, fun and love. This book deserves a high mention due to those reasons.

IF I LOVE YOU, I AM TRAPPED FOREVER?

If I Love You, I Am Trapped Forever? Is a great book. I highly recommend this book for many reasons. For instance, this book consists of life issues that grow though adolescence. With the problems of adolescence present in the book the advice to deal with such problems are present also. This is great for young readers looking for advise that may not be provided for them from other sources. This book isn't only a book yet it is a reference.

The book strengths were from relationship problems to family. This book has it all. This book keeps the readers attention. The way the book was written was very interesting and different. It frequently switched off from first person to third. This doesn't confuse most readers yet, it keeps you keyed in for more. It focused mainly on teenage male problems; which is great considering many books already written for women. It went in detail with the problem divorce and having a one parent home. That is a great topic, due to many books at that time not talking about it.

The book weaknesses are very minimum yet there are some. Firstly, the book needed much more detail about certain situations, which were presented. Secondly, it has the disadvantage of losing the readers' attention by not getting to the point. The book gave u hints leading to the situation. That is very confusing and should've been changed. Thirdly, the subject If I Love You, I Am Trapped Forever? Was mentioned at the near end and wasn't fully expressed. It should've have been written earlier and with more detail since it is the title of the book.

From strengths to weaknesses I still highly recommend this book for many people. It is ideal for teenage boys, teenage girls, and parents of teenagers. For teenagers it makes it interesting and is used as a advisor. The book can be used as an advisor for such reasons that it talks mainly about common teenage problems. That only makes a teenage keyed in. However, for parents, it gives them a chance to look back at their youth. With being able to look back it makes you realize how the problems have changed from past day to present. With that it opens many parents eyes on how to assist there children on dealing with such problems. It also makes parents aware of such new situations and how to deal with them.

To teenagers, parents, and readers; take this book home a read it now. It is filled with action, suspense, happiness, sadness, fun and love. This book deserves a high mention due to those reasons. ANDREANNA HAKOPIAN