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If Not Love [Hardcover]

Kay Langdale (Author)
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)


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Book Description

February 19, 2008

What defines a marriage?

What are the ties that bind?

It cannot only be a question of love…

If not love, then what keeps a marriage or relationship together?  Is it a matter of knowledge, of kindness, or simply the familiarity of a long road traveled together?  If Not Love is a candid exploration of the lives of six women who, unknowingly, are all connected to one another. 

In this moving debut novel, each one must confront and accept an uncomfortable reality, and recognize what their relationships teach them about themselves. The truths of their marriages are far from an idealization of love; instead they carry with them an understanding of what it is to be a wife, a mother, a lover.

For Sarah, it is not just love, but rather a brave commitment to the ties that bind—the oath she swore to and honors even in the face of temptation and desire.  Kate, Sarah’s best friend, understands that she would rather be alone than not loved, whereas Isobel, Kate’s mother,  reflects, in her widowhood, on the infidelity she accepted and possibly even encouraged. Martha, now in a retirement home, cherishes her affair with Isobel's husband as the defining moment of her life. Martha’s nurse, Sheila, is in an unconventional marriage—but one that is shown to be enduring and with its own integrity.  And finally there is Judith, who is the most tormented of all, and who must confront old demons before she can face life boldly.

In a rich, evocative narrative, Kay Langdale interweaves the complexities of love and marriage with a rare maturity and vision.  If Not Love is subtle and moving, and dark and painful at times.  But it is ultimately a celebration of  the journey each woman  makes, both within her heart and within her marriage. It shows how individuals can make small, bold actions that transform their emotional history.

A well-crafted story of individual and mutual empowerment, If Not Love displays a breadth of understanding of female honesty in an engrossing and perceptive debut novel.

International Praise for the Unusually Powerful Debut Novel by Kay Langdale, Nominated for the 2007 Romantic Novel of the Year Award (UK):

“Affecting first novel...celebrates, frankly and subtly, the checks and balances of marital life.”—The Sunday Times

“Langdale’s approach in crafting is refreshingly, compellingly alternative…an elegant, adept use of language and a singularly insightful evocation of the mature female psyche.” —her circle ezine

“Langdale’s accomplished debut takes some unfashionable themes—marriage, mother- hood, loyalty, and duty—and considers them in a fresh light, through the medium of six female characters.…The sensitivity with which the author describes her characters’ innermost thoughts is one of the things that makes this book worth reading.”—The Times (London)

"A powerful and positive meditation on marriage that resonates long after you have finished the book"---The Oxford Times


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Six contemporary British women are linked through husbands, friends, lovers and children in this big-on-heart debut. Sarah finds herself contemplating an affair with her husband's best friend, Harry. Harry's wife, Kate, meanwhile, senses that her husband has lost interest in her and cautiously seeks guidance from her widowed mother, Isobel, who reveals that the marriage Kate witnessed growing up had its problems, including an affair Isobel's husband, Robert, had. Kate's situation stirs Isobel, who visits Martha, Robert's mistress, now living in a nursing home. Martha reflects on the four years she spent with Robert as the happiest days of her life, and her newfound energy and excitement do not go unnoticed by her night nurse, Shelia, who, married 40 years and still a virgin, channeled her desire to be wanted and needed into her adopted child. The final story introduces Judith, a happily married woman who suffers from migraines and bouts of sadness rooted in her decision years ago to give up her son for adoption. The characters are all brought together in the epilogue, though the ending isn't as tidy as you might think. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

KAY LANGDALE is married with four children. She received a doctorate from Oxford University for her thesis on Samuel Beckett’s fiction. She worked in branding and new-product development, and is now a full-time writer.  She lives in rural Oxfordshire, England.


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books; First Edition edition (February 19, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312367392
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312367398
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,785,261 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Where's Langdale's Next Book Please, January 23, 2009
This review is from: If Not Love (Hardcover)
Little did I realize when I pulled this tiny little gem off the book shelf would I find a book so enjoyable. Much of this novel reminds me of Meg Wolitzer's style of writing. Words are crisp. Each sentence does not meander. Every chapter leaves you longing for the next. Oh, and the theme of the book is poignant. A perfect book for mothers and daughters and granddaughters too!
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3.0 out of 5 stars If Not Love, October 15, 2011
This review is from: If Not Love (Hardcover)
This connected collection of recountings from several women about the present and past loves of their lives had some golden moments. Some of the characters' sections were real gems, whereas others were a bore. In too many parts of the book, the story just dragged on & on & on. While nicely written, just plain too wordy.
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4.0 out of 5 stars fine female British version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, February 21, 2008
This review is from: If Not Love (Hardcover)
Sarah considers an affair with Harry, her husband Michael's best friend. Kate thinks her husband Harry no longer desires her and is sniffing elsewhere so she turns to her mother for guidance. A widow Isobel explains to her despondent daughter that her marriage had issues of infidelity too as her husband Kate's dad Robert had an affair with Martha. Isobel visits Martha at her nursing home where Robert's mistress tells her that her four years as the other woman were the highlight of her life. Night nurse Shelia notices the sudden vim in her patient Martha and ponders her own virginal chaste marriage as she wed for convenience not love. Finally there is migraine sufferer Judith, whose husband Tom is kind and caring, but she has never let go giving up her son for adoption.

The six women have their own chapter with a final seventh denouement tying up their individual but somewhat connected entries. All six women seem genuine while the support family members enhance the deep look at each of the stars as readers learn why each one committed to a relationship especially IF NOT LOVE. To learn the Judith link requires reading this fine female British version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Harriet Klausner
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