If Only He Knew: What No Woman Can Resist [Mass Market Paperback]

Gary Smalley (Author), Norma Smalley (Author)

Book Description

Release date: December 31, 1996

A how-to book for men that seeks to clarify distinctions between the sexes with a view toward building a stronger marital relationship with this understanding.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Do you want your wife to: - understand you? - appreciate you? - be more responsive sexually? - support you during hard times? - admire you? - share your interests? - listen to what you have to say?

About the Author

Gary Smalley is one of he country's best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He is the award-winning, best-selling author or coauthor of sixteen books, as well as several popular films and videos. The Blessing and The Two Sides of Love have won Gold Medallions, The Language of Love won the Angel Award as the best contribution to family life, and his other titles have received Silver Medallions. His national infomercial Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships has been viewed by television audiences all over the world. Gary and his wife, Norma, have been married for over thirty years and live in Branson, Missouri.

Dr. Gary Smalley es uso de los mejores autores y oradores del país acerca de las relaciones familiares. Es autor y coautor de veintiocho bestsellers, incluyendo el más reciente "The DNA of Relationships" (El AND de las relaciones). Gary ha asistido a programas de televisión como Opray, Larry King Live y Today Show, al igual que en numerosos programas nacionales de radio. El es presidente y fundador del Centro de Relaciones Smalley. El y Norma, su esposa, residen en Branson, Missouri.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Zondervan; Revised edition (December 31, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0310214785
• ISBN-13: 978-0310214786
• Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 0.6 x 6.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #23,702 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Gary Smalley is one of the country's best known authors and speakers on family relationships. He is the author and coauthor of 16 best-selling, award-winning books along with several popular films and videos. He has spent over 30 years learning, teaching, and counseling. Gary has personally interviewed hundreds of singles and couples and has surveyed thousands of people at his seminars, asking two questions: what is it that strengthens your relationships and what weakens them?

Gary's books combined have sold over 5 million copies. Many of them have even been translated into various languages. "The Blessing" and "The Two Sides of Love" have won the Gold Medallion Award for excellence in literature. "The Language of Love" won the Angel Award as the best contribution to family life. All other titles have been top-five finalists for the Gold Medallion Award.

In the last 30 years, Gary has spoken to over 2 million people in live conferences. He has been presenting his live two-day workshop, "Love Is a Decision," once a month for the last 20 years. Television audiences all over the world have viewed his award-winning infomercial, "Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships." Several versions of the infomercial--first with Dick Clark, then with John Tesh and Connie Sellecca, and also with Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford--have been aired. This 18-videotape series has sold over 4 million tapes.

Gary Smalley has appeared on national television programs such as "Oprah," "Larry King Live," "Extra," "The Today Show," and "Sally Jessy Raphael," as well as numerous national radio programs. Gary has been featured on hundreds of regional and local television and radio programs across the United States.

Gary and his wife, Norma, have been married for 40 years and live in Branson, Missouri. They have three children, Kari, Greg, and Michael, and six grandchildren.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

119 of 127 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars How YOU can change your marriage May 8, 2006

By Sparkling Icewolf

Format:Mass Market Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

My husband and I own both of these books. They really are best if you read them together: If Only He Knew (for the guys) and For Better or for Best (for the gals). I have reccomended these books to many people. I believe they help improve communication in marriage (and also other relationships!) so that you learn how to be a better partner in the relationship.

I have been reading many of these reviews. The people who were helped by it, were helped greatly. The people who did not like the content of the book, all seemed to feel that the book shouldn't be telling them what THEY need to change to improve their marriage. Look guys! There are TWO books! One for the man and one for the woman. The woman's book tells her what SHE needs to change to improve her marraige with her husband, what SHE needs to do to understand his needs, and communicate with him on his level. The man's book tells him what HE needs to do to improve his marriage. What HE needs to do so his wife will understand him. If the man's book told the reader what his wife needs to do to change, how exactly would that help??? He is supposed to be looking for answers to how HE needs to change, what HE needs to do, how HE can take action to repair past mistakes and plan for a happier future. Only you can change your own actions, you can not change your spouse. If you are reading the man's book then I think it should be telling the reader what the man needs to know and what the man can do to change. Yes, sometimes the author uses extreme examples. Sometimes the examples will look nothing like your life. Sometimes, they might resemble your life a little too closely that it makes you uncomfortable. You may not benefit frome very single chapter in the book. I don't benefit from every single chapter of every book I read. This isn't the Bible, it's a help book. If it helps, then it has done it's job.

I think perhaps if you really want to change your marriage, and make it better, you need to accept that perhaps you will have to change yourself first, before you can expect to change your mate. If you aren't looking for a book that offers advice on what YOU can do, then you won't like this book. If you are just looking for a book that you can hand to your wife and say "You need to change so we can have a better marriage" then you won't like this book. If you're looking for a SET of books that show both of you how to compromise, communicate better and be more compassionate to one another, and which will speak to each of you on your own level, then you will like these books.

Blessings to you all.

82 of 88 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Reading this book has changed my life! August 21, 2006

By Lawrence O. Napier

Format:Mass Market Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

When my wife informed me that she wanted a divorce and that she had no connection with me whatsoever, I was completely crushed and surprised. I love her dearly and started searching for literature to help me work through the situation. I ran across this book and was blown away by the revelations it brought forth concerning my past actions and behavior. I come from a rather long career in the Marine Corps, which pretty much sucked every ounce of compassion and tenderness out of my soul. This book opened my eyes to the blindness I had grown into over the past 17 years of our marriage. I had in fact sucked the joy out of my wife and kids without even knowing it. Never again will I allow Satan to blind me so with all of life's distractions (Work, Work, Work, Big house, Nice Cars, Work, Work, Work).

This book is for men seeking to understand their illogically perceived wives who seem to live in la la land instead of reality. After reading this book, my perception of my wife is that of complete understanding and my perception of myself is that of remorseful shame.

I wouldn't recommend this book for women, because just like us men, women will not connect with a lot of the material presented as it is written from the man's point of view.

Also, there have been some reviews that state this book is out of date concerning feminism. I would have to disagree, as this book is based on Biblical principles that are timeless. Christian readers who are firmly grounded in God's word will see through the comments made on this site by others who do not understand Biblical doctrines concerning marriage. It is a shame, because I fear they will probably end up going through with divorce instead of working through their issues according to Biblical principles.

You can continue to do things your way and reap the outcome, however if you turn to God's way and reap a better outcome. This book leads you through all the points in God's word that supports His plan for marriage. You have to be honest with yourself and consider if you have done everything possible, before you just give up and turn to divorce. If you didn't truely try God's direction, then you didn't do everything possible and you are to fault.

I've weathered two months now of separation from my wife, however I'm sticking to the principles taught in this book. Each page is weathered, areas underlined and corners dog-eared. Read, it - Re-read it and apply it. I can see that my wife is beginning to notice changes in my behavior and is turning perceptions of lipservice into perceptions of permanent change.

74 of 83 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Men, this book will help you realize how insensitive we are. April 4, 1999

By [e-mail]

Format:Paperback

My relationship IS in trouble, my wife suggested I read this book. I just finished it about 10 minutes ago and will be getting in my car to drive over 1,000 miles tonite to be with my wife and beg her forgiveness for my insensitivity. It will take much courage for me to follow the advice this book offers, but I am confident that it will help me achieve the results that I just don't know how reach yet. I will submit a follow up message after my marriage is back on the right track. I wish I had read this book several years ago, I'm sure I would have avoided offending my most precious wife long ago. Reading this book should be mandatory for all couples (husbands) before the second year of their relationships. I will be purchasing the companion book, "For better or for Best" as soon as the bookstores open tommorow. (Today is Easter Sunday) Steve