Customer Reviews

If They Only Knew

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(15)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(27)

 

 

Yes, and I'm not only talking about flipping the pages. To learn more about the "flippy thing," you'll have to read the book.

Similar to Mick Foley's book, as well as somewhat with the Rock's book, Chyna speaks from the heart, and tells you her true-to-life story. We get to learn all about her dysfunctional family, her horrible luck with finding a proper job, and her unbelievble curse at fitness pageants. But, more importantly, we get to learn about Joanie Laurer and Chyna, two different personas, one outstanding person.

The thing that I liked most about the book was her sarcasm and humor. Not only did it help the book move along rather quickly, but it allows you to relate to her story more. Her witty comments and language made for more interesting reading.

The book's photographs are excellent, and the comments by Triple H and Mick Foley are nice additions. The only major beef that I had was using Michael Angeli to co-author the book. It often seemed as if he was not very knowledgeable about wrestling, and seldom watched it. But, other than that, this book is a real winner. The behind-the-scenes stories are incredible and the section involving Killer Kowalski is beyond funny.

Any fan of the World Wrestling Federation has to read this book. It won't take long to read, and you'll be glad that you did.

I can say that Chyna is my favorite wrestler of all time,and I can also say that her autobiography was amazing,Most say it is poorly written,But I would say other wise...I found the book to be quite interesting and brought you closer to the WWE diva.It showed you how hard she had it growing up with her mother and father...and How she made her way into the WWF now WWE.She brings you in closer on her careers before wreslting and what it took to become the most celebrated diva in WWE history of her time.She proved she was just as good as the men if not better then most of them.She made you see who the real chyna is...The side we dont see,the side that is Joanie Laurer!!

I honestly have to say it was a good book towards the end. She jumps around so much with her stories that it is sometimes hard to tell which subject she was on. When she finally started getting to the stuff that had to do with wrestling I couldnt put the book down. I know she worked her (...) off to get where she was but it sounds like a lot of her moving up so quickly had to do with Triple H. Where would she have gotten if not for him? She sounds like a very self-centered person and I cant say that I would want her as a friend in my everyday life. She made herself out to be a person who would step on anyone to get what she wanted which it sounds like is what she did to Triple H who is the one person who got her where she is today. Sorry Chyna, I liked you much better before your book!

After finishing the book, I sent it back for a refund. It is filled with profanity and Chyna jumps back and forth to different points in her life without really going into who she really is. I became tired of listening to her go on and on about how wonderful her muscles are and how much she can bench. Save you money and don't waste your time on this book!

Overall, I'd classify this book as being "okay." One thing that is obviously evident in this book is that Chyna DEFINITELY has tons of "issues." Overall, it is definitely a no-holds barred look into her life.

The first 70 pages or so of the book is PURE RANT where Chyna goes off about her dysfunctional family. It was definitely hard for me to get through this portion of the book because of its emotional content (can you say bitter?). Once I got past that portion though, the story picks up well. Chyna discusses the many, many, many odd jobs she worked (900 number operator, pager salesperson, belly dancer, etc) her past relationships with men, her close call with cancer, her bodybuilding/fitness competition career and the prejudice she received, and, of course, how she got into the wrestling business (joining Killer Kowalski's school, wrestling the independents and breaking into, and succeeding, in the WWF). The most interesting part of the story for me, being a wrestling fan, was how she broke into the business.

Overall, the one comment I make about the book is that she definitely has an interesting story to tell, but she doesn't really delve all that deep into it, with the exception of her obvious dislike she has of her parents. I personally would have liked to have heard more about the odd jobs she did.

When I finished reading the book (did it in about 10 hours) I was like "geez" this poor girl's had a pretty harsh life. From the tone of her "voice" in the book it is quite obvious. If the publishing industry actually rated these books for content, Chyna's "If They Only Knew" would definitely get like a PG-13 or an R. This is definitely not something the kid's should read on their own. Tons of graphic language in this one. On the upside though, there are TONS of great pictures in here. Unfortunately, the captions for them are at the END of the book.

Great: Triple H and Mick Foley do a "guest spot" in the middle of her book sharing some stories.

Good: The stories about her odd-jobs, her bodybuilding/fitness pageant career, her stories about the WWF, the pictures.

Bad: The first 70 pages about the horrors of her parents. Obviously, it was an important part of the story, but geez.... Photo captions at the BACK of the book and NOT with the photos???

Ugly: How they spelled Shawn Michaels name as "Sean" and how they referred to Benoit's finishing move as the "Cross-face Crippler" and not the correct "Crippler Cross-face."

This book will probably be most beneficial to Chyna fans. Wrestling fans will have a mild interest in this. If you don't fall into either category you could probably take a pass on this one. Overall, it is an "okay" book, but not a must read.

Recommendation to borrow and read it.

The third in a string of WWF star biographies (Mick Foley, the Rock), and easily the best of the bunch. Chyna comes across with a mixture of honesty, bravado and vulnerability that keeps the reader glued to the page. She was born into a family that can best be described as putting the "fun" in dysfunctional. Her father was an alcoholic con man and her mother was cold fish whose idea of punishment verged on the sadistic. At the age of 15, after suffering her mother and a series of stepfathers, she would leave to move in with her stepfather, now a recovered alcoholic, but no less of a con man. (He would later get student loans in her name without her knowledge and leave her to pay the bills upon graduation.)

A graduate of the University of Tampa, fluent in Spanish, Joan Laurer bounced around from job to job before hitting upon the idea of entering Killer Kowalski's wrestling school. Her memories of both Kowalski and his training institute are both hilarious and, as one who knows Kowalski, right on the point. After finishing her training she works the independent circuit until a chance meeting with Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Paul Levesque, who later became her boyfriend)and Shawn Michaels. (One of the best parts of the book comes upon meeting Hunter and discovering they were both trained by Kowalski.) Helmsley and Michaels envisioned a role for her and convinced Vince McMahon to take her on. Needless to say, it was one of the best moves he made.

I haven't really spilled anything because the strong point of this book is not the chronology of her life, but the way she handled adversity and being different. Attempting to come across completely as the swaggering, tough Chyna, she glosses over her academic achievements and her stint in the Peace Corps. But the chinks in her armor reveal her sensitivity, and oversensitivity, and make this one of the more compelling sports biographies published in the last couple of years. I thought it most interesting point that Joan Laurer can only consider herself feminine in the guise of Chyna. "I was meant to be someone else," she says. Perhaps it is true, then, that our capacity for happiness lies in a delicate balance between what chilhood has allowed us and what it had denied us.

I wish I hadn't read this book. I was always in awe of Chyna and the power and confidence that she portrayed. However, after reading this book, I now realize that she is nothing but bitter and sarcastic about her accomplishments and fame. Almost every sentence had sarcasm in it as well as bitterness towards each event in her life. I finished the book and my whole attitude towards Chyna had been tarnished. I am not proud of her anymore. I feel like she is who she is now just to spite something or someone. And that is just not respectable at all.

I have read two copies of this book to pieces and have loved to go back to certain chapters to re-read them, just for the laughs. My favorite chapter is her first workout with Triple H, in which she confides to the reader she didn't know whether this was "going to be a workout or a WORKOUT (wink, wink)". Also, she lets others give direct quotes in her book, including Triple H. Of those, again I recommend the workout story, in which Triple H admits that he couldn't press 315 lbs, and when he tried, he "blew one of my n*ts across the room". Yet, Chyna did her reps and went on to leg presses. ...sigh...good times...

If I could have gone lower than 1 Star, I would have.....

I'll start off by saying that I am a HUGE wrestling fan. I've never really been much of a Chyna fan- I could take her or leave her. I was, however, interested in learning how a woman was able to do something no other woman had ever done in the WWF- compete against the men. So I figured I'd give the book a try.

First off, the book is obviously Ghost-Written. Not a big deal, if the words on the page seem like they could be coming out of the mouth of the book's subject.....I have seen dozens of hours of interviews with Joanie Laurer, and there is not ONE PAGE in this book that sounds like her. In reality, she comes off as a self-absorbed doofus craving attention. On the printed page, she's a poor man's Shakespeare. Add "Writer" Michael Angeli to my list of "names to avoid like the plague" at the bookstore. He hammers the reader with run-on sentences. The chronology of the book is a mess. Every sentence screams out with Angeli's pretentiousness. I could not envision ANY of these words coming out of Chyna's mouth.

What does come out of her mouth is a non-stop orgy of self-congratulation, self-pity, mean-spirited digs, brown-nosing, and constant attempts to convince the reader (or is she really trying to convince HERSELF...?) how beautiful she is.

I found her constant jabs at Walter "Killer" Kowalski to be really low. In the space of 20 pages she manages to constantly mock his accent, call him cheap, a money-grubber, mock his hairpiece, insinuate he has Head Lice(?).....nice way to repay the man who gave you your start. But then again, the whole book is about how everyone on the face of the Earth was against her....her only allies were boyfriend Triple-H (Who has since dumped her for a more conventional-looking female), and Boss Vince McMahon, the greatest human being on God's Green Earth....at least according to Joanie. (All the brown-nosing didn't help- he didn't renew her contract when it expired last year....he made Chyna, and he killed her off, too. Ironic.) We also get to read, ad-nauseum, about Joanie's horrific childhood.....her parents fought (SHUDDER....), her Mom yelled when Joanie broke her Stereo, her Mom had Four Husbands....boo-hoo-hoo. Things are tough all over, kid. I, and millions of other people, had rough childhoods. What about kids that had NO homes, NO parents, NOWHERE to turn....I really didn't appreciate her drama-queen representation of a childhood that was no worse than anyone elses.

And the constant yammering on about how "Beautiful" she is....how all the boys wanted her in school- even the TEACHERS! Yeah.... Joanie, people aren't asking you if you're really a man because you're beautiful....I don't see people asking Gwyneth Paltrow that question. You're a curiousity. Nothing more, nothing less. Your 15 minutes are up, thank goodness.

If I seem mean, it's because her book seemed mean. Chyna is nothing but a whining, spoiled ingrate. Grow up.

I was extremely excited to get my hands on a copy of Chyna's autobiography but gee after reading it, I was most certainly disappointed. Not only was the book in large print and loaded down with unnecessary pictures but you finish it still not having a sense of who the real Joanie Laurer is. Sure she talks at length about her dysfunctional family, her sadistic, oft-married mother, her drunk, con artist father, her string of stepfathers and so on and so on. But hardly ever does Chyna have a kind word to say about her family at all, with the exception of her sister Kathy and her weakling brother Sonny. Everything is done in broad strokes, even her relationship with Triple H (ne Paul Levesque) is glossed over and you never really even get to the basics about their relationship, from what you read you'd think they were just gym buddies that had sex occasionally. What Chyna does go into detail about is her breast implant "tragedy", with one bursting during a match and having to get them restructured and specially made. Her '99 Intercontinental Title winning match with Jeff Jarrett and her training with "Killer" Kowalski are also given ample page room. The book is alright but not spectacular, it could've been better. Mostly filled with anecdotes and countless glossy photos, Chyna's foray into the literary world is all style and no substance. I thought that Chyna would have more to say and it would actually be interesting. If I'd wanted to know ANY of the things I found out in "If They Only Knew" I could've just as easily gone onto an unauthorized website.