If You Ask Me [Hardcover]

Libby Gelman-Waxner (Author)

Book Description

Series: If You Ask Me | Publication Date: October 12, 1994

Hi. I'm Libby Gelman-Waxner, and I'm an assistant buyer in juniors' activewear. While I find my work both rewarding and creative, especially with the new knits coming in, I want more. And so I decided to become a film critic....

Move over, Siskel & Ebert. Watch out, Leonard Maltin. And just forget saving that aisle seat, Mr. Medved. Libby Gelman-Waxner has arrived -- in the critic's circle, that is -- and the silver screen may never be the same again. Witty, wicked, and scathingly honest -- If You Ask Me is a hilarious collection of her columns from Premiere magazine. Just listen to Libby on some recent films and film stars:

Prince of Tides -- "Barbra's only spontaneous moment in Prince of Tides comes when Nick tosses her a football and she screams 'My nails!'"

Diane Keaton -- "She's a pioneer; she takes that thing that hangs in the back of your closet, the thing that was too marked down to pass up, Diane takes that thing and she doesn't call Goodwill, she wraps it around her head a few times, pins on a Smurf brooch, and wins an Oscar...."

The Last of the Mohicans -- "Daniel Day-Lewis makes American actors look like giggly junior high school boys playing Nintendo during the prom; at one point, Madeleine asks Daniel what he is looking at, and he says, I'm looking at you, Miss, and let me tell you, the usher had to conk me with his flashlight to make me stop whimpering...."

Daryl Hannah -- "All men in America, my Josh included, they all want a date with Daryl Hannah. A girl like Daryl -- we're not talking about a Ph.D. in comparative literature; I think we're talking about hair in the eyes and not much in the way of lingerie...."

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

New York film critic Gelman-Waxner here collects her irreverent, hilarious "If You Ask Me" columns that have appeared during the past five years in Premiere magazine. Of yet another Tom Cruise coming-of-age drama (Far and Away), she writes, "It's like watching Tom in a $60 million school play, where you never forget that he's really the star quarterback and the class president." William Hurt (in The Accidental Tourist) speaks "very slowly, like a Mormon on quaaludes." Gelman-Waxner is kinder to Daniel Day-Lewis, Dennis Quaid and Michelle Pfeiffer, whose "cheekbones and thighs could be grounds for a class action suit by women everywhere." The persona of the columnist-homemaker, mother and wife, married to a "wildly sought-after Upper East Side orthodontist"-is carefully fashioned as the author intersperses self-aware mockery of yuppie excesses with astringent comments about Hollywood.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"Libby Gelman-Waxner is a Goddess: she inspires terror and worship. I have known Libby for many years, and she approaches film criticism with all the reverence she holds for dessert. She is wise, witty and completely unethical -- what's not to like? I cannot say enough good things about this book, because she has my home number. If you love movies, if you love to laugh, if you'll believe anything, then this book is for you, if you ask me." -- Paul Rudnick

"Irreverent, Hilarious." -- Publishers Weekly

"Screamingly Funny." -- The Advocate --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 236 pages
• Publisher: St Martins Pr; 1st edition (October 12, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312112874
• ISBN-13: 978-0312112875
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,758,355 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious compilation of Premiere magazine columns, 1988-92, July 14, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: If You Ask Me: The Collected Columns of America's Most Beloved and Irresponsible Critic (Paperback)

If You Ask Me is a collecion of columns appearing in Premiere magazine from 1987 to 1992. It turns out that Libby is in fact really Paul Rudnick, author of the play Jeffrey, among other works. Libby is the wife of Upper East Side orthodontist Josh and mother of two. She is the daughter of the beloved Sondra Krell-Gelman, and goes to therapist Doctor Cole-Natbaum. Both women have guested the column as well. Libby takes a rather unique approach to movie reviewing. With Dennis Quaid, and later Daniel Day-Lewis, as her spiritual fiancé, it is no guess how she feels about their movies. Libby liberally recounts her daily life in the columns. Included is her cousin Andrew--an art director who is so creative that "no one is expecting grandchildren, if you know what I mean." Libby also gives very good descriptions of what the actors wear, and often make analogies to other actors and what they might wear. Libby is quick to comment, and dismiss movies, as needed. On Sneakers: they decide not to see a movie about computer hackers, "I'm waiting for a fast-paced thriller about guys who can set the timer on their VCR." There are many laugh-out-loud moments in the book. On Melanie Griffith as an undercover chassid: "But don't you think Yitzhak Shamir is just dreamy" and she declares the film (A Stranger Among Us) one that "manages to insult both Jews and policewomen." She speculated years ago that one day they would split Tom Cruise's films into two categories--with sunglasses and without. On Jean-Claude van Damme: "He is shot naked from the back featuring a rear that has been polished with love and Lemon Pledge, and that's a universal language, if you ask me." Every column ends with those four little words. She also declares that "anything with air conditioning is a masterpiece." Amid all the repartee are some rather genuine and shrewd observations, about life at large and film in particular. Commenting on G. Gordon Liddy's turn as an actor and Nixon's various books, she says no one is really sorry, they're just marketing their apologies. Of course, if helps if you are familiar with Hollywood stars and their movies, but even if you have not seen them, Libby is hilarious, with her own Libby awards and "Letters to Libby." She's so funny that, in her words, "you could eat her up alive and come back for seconds," and that's a book worth reading, if you ask me.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The funniest film review collection ever written, June 28, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: If You Ask Me: The Collected Columns of America's Most Beloved and Irresponsible Critic (Paperback)

This is the funniest film review collection ever written. Forget Mr. Cranky, and even MovieJuice. Paul Rudnick (sorry, Libby) is flat out hysterical. My wife and I practically fall down laughing every time we crack this book open. The only problem is -- where's the sequel?

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Compilation of the hilarious Premiere Magazine Column, July 16, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: If You Ask Me: The Collected Columns of America's Most Beloved and Irresponsible Critic (Paperback)

Posing as Libby Gelman-Waxner, Paul Rudnick (author of Jeffrey) give insights into five years (1987-1992) of movies, ranging from the superficial to the profound. There is a laugh-at-loud moment on almost every page. Highly recommended. See a longer review at http://www.geocities.com/Athens./2679/libri.html