Customer Reviews

If You Swear You'll Catch No F

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The best of the best. Canadian punkers--headed by the oriental Mr. Chi-Pig--recorded this seminal album in Turkey of all places. Bar none, the greatest hardcore album of all time. I first bought it in 1986, and have listened to it 1000s of times since. Every song is a cherished classic, from "Devil's Voice" to the irreverant "Snapping Turtle". Try to buy the vinyl version, as the liner notes and photos/artwork are amazing. This album changed my life. Buy it. Listen to it. You will never regret it.

I pretty much put myself out on a limb when I bought this cd. The only SNFU song I heard before this was Don't Have the Cow, an awesome song. But, that song was from their latest album that was released in '96, and this is their second album from '86. But, I bought it knowing that it was one of the most influential albums to the bands I listen to, like NOFX, Pennywise, etc. And boy am I glad I bought it. I am pretty select in the punk bands and especially old-school punk bands I listen to. Partly because some punk is too simple,and sometimes seems like it is lacking in musical talent; that is most definetly not the case with SNFU. I appreciate a band that allows melodic guitars and solos to find its way in their album. And, it is cool to see that the awesome singer (Mr. Chi Pig)doesn't always have to be singing, he allows sometimes half of a song to be just instrumental before the singing comes in. But don't get me wrong, Mr. Chi Pig is an excellent singer and is unlike ANY singers I have heard before. Sometimes he's kinda weird but that's okay. Anyway, lets get to the songs.
1. The Devil's Voice:9/10 Good way to start out the album. It gives me a Misfits vibe.
2. Where's My Legs:10/10 Awesome. So much energy, funny, and one of my favorites.
3. Better Homes and Gardens: 9.5/10 Another great song.
4. Scarecrow: 10/10 Another one of my favorites, kinda long for punk rock(4:30) but I like that. Its a bit weird but so is SNFU, this is one of those songs where the instruments really shine through, and that's what I was rambling on about before.
5. Black Cloud: 9.5/10 A slower even more melodic song. I really like it.
6. I Forget: 10/10 Yet another one of my favs. Its really catchy and packed full of energy.
7. The Ceiling: 10/10 I love this one too.
8. Mind Like a Door: 6.5/10 My least favorite. I don't like the screaming.
9. He's Not Getting Older, He's Getting Bitter: 10/10 This may be my favorite. I dunno, its way up there on my list. Great guitar solo, and lyrics. Another 4 or so something minutes long song.
10. Electric Chair: 9.5/10 I really like this song, its really fast I just don't like the ending.
11. Welcome To My Humble Life Of Dissaray: 10/10 Awesome, they should of ended the album with this and took off Snapping Turtle.
12. Snapping Turtle: 7.5/10 Not cause it is that bad, I just don't like the singing and it sounds like its a "f*** around" song. In my opinion it should of been prev. unreleased but whatever, i still listen to it.
So, overall it is an awesome album. If I could give it 4.5 I would (Amazon doesn't rate with halves). And it may get 5 if it weren't for the crappy production, that's my main complaint. But that's alright cause it gives it more of that old-school sound. If you are a fan of rock music buy it, it is not just for punk fans.

When I was 16 years old in 1987, I remember there were basically two cassettes I rotated in and out of my Walkman for several months -- "Garage Days Re-revisited" and "If You Swear, You'll Catch No Fish". And I remember thinking how much cooler SNFU was than Metallica (even years before Metallica became the tragic joke they are today).

I was so extremely happy I discovered this SNFU CD! Finally! I found a band that played music I had been looking for in thrash bands for years! The music was fast ... but thick, chunky and creatively arranged. The lyrics were genuinely sarcastic and clever. And when I finally went to see them live in '89, I was just absolutely smitten by their hyperactive showmanship.

"If You Swear ..." was for me, the album that gave birth to bands years later like NOFX, Strung Out, No Use For A Name, Lagwagon, etc. The production of "If You Swear ..." is typical of something recorded 15 years ago, but it is in every other way, way ahead of its time.

The album is cool. I saw SNFU play live in Mankato, MN in 1985, and loved them as a teenager, but in today's world the audio quality comes across as pretty bad. It needs to be either remastered or re-recorded to capture its true awesomeness. If this CD was digitally enhanced to bring out Mr. Chi Pig's voice more, and balance the two guitars in stereo, with the bass and drums in the middle...it would blow your minds even more. Are the original master tapes available? I'll remaster it for free!

Simply, my favorite album of any genre, ever. Period.

Calling this hardcore punk is so misleading, it's practically a misnomer. Yes, this album is breakneck, blazing, sternum-crushing punk rock. But it's also filled, top to bottom, with brilliant instrumentation. It's a goddamn punk rock symphony! Every instrument shines here in genius and intensity. Even Chi's lyrics aren't half bad; at least they don't detract from the musicianship like they will on records to come. SNFU won't even approach the brilliance of this album again until their 1995 fluke "The One Voted Most Likely To Succeed."

If you are a fan of the hardcore incarnation of North American punk rock and you do not own this album, your life is grievously incomplete!

This album is a masterpiece of hardcore music. If You Swear You'll Catch No Fish has all the elements of a superb hardcore album: great melodic guitars, a brilliant rhythm section and one of the most unique singers ever named Mr. Chi pig. All the songs are excellent, from the opening "devil's voice" to the creepy balad "black cloud" and from classic hardcore songs like "better homes and gardens", "scarecrow", "i forget", "the ceiling", to the emocore "he's not getting older he's getting bitter" and the amazing closing "snapping turtle". Chi Pig sounds hillarious on that one while on "mind like a door" he sounds like a comlete lunatic. That is one of the most brutal hardcore tracks ever recorded combined with a surpising poppy and catchy refrain. The music throughout the whole album is matured and diverse.
I think that the production is good too and that the vocals sound great. To me this is one of those albums that took hardcore one step further. It's a classic hardcore record but unlike anything else before. Buy it.

As a youngster I was prematurely eager to get into punk rock. In the late 80's and at about age 11 I bought "IF YOU SWEAR..." and to this day it remains my favorite album of all time. Since the purchase of this record, SNFU has also been my favorite band of all time. Do yourself a favor and buy this album, it'll change your life.