Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms That Begin with the Word "IF" [Hardcover]

Mardy Grothe (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 25, 2009

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

An aphorism is a pithy observation that attempts to communicate a truth about the human experience, often with a dash of wit. History's greatest thinkers and writers have viewed the aphorism as a potent tool, and it is remarkable how many of their most memorable observations have been introduced with the biggest little word in the human language: If. These ifferisms, as they have been dubbed by quotation anthologist Dr. Mardy Grothe, demonstrate the powerful role that hypothetical and conditional thinking play in our lives.

This novel compendium of wisdom, wit, and wordplay presents nearly two thousand quotations that all begin with the word if. Alongside history's most famous sayings, readers will find—and often learn the fascinating story behind—such modern classics as "If you build it, they will come" and "If anything can go wrong, it will." In chapters on sex, love, sports, politics, advice, gender dynamics, and more, quotation lovers will savor scintillating observations from the usual suspects—Twain, Wilde, Shaw, Emerson, and Franklin—as well as scores of contemporary wits and wordsmiths.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Mardy Grothe is a psychologist, management consultant, and public speaker. He is the author of five previous word-and-language books: I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, Viva la Repartee, Oxymoronica, Ifferisms, and Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You. A lifelong quotation collector, Dr. Mardy—as he is known to his fans around the globe—is routinely described as a "quotation maven" and is well on his way to becoming America's most popular quotation anthologist. He lives with his wife, Katherine Robinson, in North Carolina.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Collins Reference (August 25, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061672300
• ISBN-13: 978-0061672309
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #319,722 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Mardy Grothe is a psychologist, management consultant, marriage counselor, and public speaker. He is the author of six "word & language" books: "Ifferisms," "I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like," "Viva la Repartee," "Oxymoronica," "Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You," and "Neverisms" (to be published in May, 2011). A lifelong quotation collector, Dr. Mardy--as he is known to his fans around the globe--is routinely described as a "quotation maven" and is well on his way to becoming America's most popular quotation anthologist. He lives with his wife, Katherine Robinson, in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Mardy Does It Again, September 2, 2009

By 

Bob Kelly "Quotemeister" (Sun Lakes, AZ USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms That Begin with the Word "IF" (Hardcover)

Well, Mardy Grothe, a lIFelong quotation collector, has done it again. No sooner had the Global Language Monitor announced that the English language has reached the one-million word mark, but the gIFted Dr. Mardy has coined a new word to get us started on the second million. SpecIFically, the word is IFferisms, the title of the fIFth volume of quotations he has compiled, but with a dIFference. Every one of the quotations he has selected for this book begins with the word IF.

BeautIFully dedicated to his wIFe, the book is divided into 18 chapters, covering virtually every aspect of lIFe and the world we live in. In his Introduction, Dr. Mardy writes: "I have come to believe that IF is the biggest little word in the English language." In the fIFteen hundred (or so) selections which follow, signIFicantly amplIFied in his always informative and entertaining style, he makes his point well.

IF you'll take my advice, you'll swIFtly order your copy of IFferisms, and perhaps several more for family and friends. You'll find it a gratIFying read, one that's sure to give your spirits a lIFt!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Proving the power of "if", December 17, 2009

By 

Edward Durney (San Francisco) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms That Begin with the Word "IF" (Hardcover)

It's only two letters. So you might not think the word "if" would pack a punch. But Rudyard Kipling made a classic poem out of "If." That's the whole title of the poem -- just "If."

Now Mardy Grothe goes Kipling one better. Mardy Grothe makes a book out of the word.

Maybe the power of "if" should not be a surprise. Winston Churchill thought that short words are best, and short, old words best of all. "If" could not be much shorter. Nor older. As a short, old word, "if" has power.

Other two-letter power-packing words are out there too. Like "is." Remember how important "is" turned out to be? An issue of national import once depended on what the definition of "is" is. A president said so. A president of the United States. Can't get much more important than that.

So if "if" intrigues you, pick up "Ifferisms." Mardy Grothe has put together a book-full (a full 336 pages, believe it or not) of sayings that all begin with the word "if."

If you are not familiar with him (he is a he, by the way), Dr. Mardy Grothe is a psychologist, management consultant, and public speaker. He wrote four previous word-and-language books:

-- I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like
-- Viva la Repartee
-- Oxymoronica
-- Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You.

And Mardy Grothe has a weekly newsletter of sayings that might liven up your Saturday nights. It does mine. I look for it every week. (Of course, it doesn't take much to liven up my Saturday nights. If yours are more lively, you can save the newsletter for Sunday. It keeps.)

But back to the book. Reading Ifferisms gave me a new respect for the word "if." No longer will I discount the power of just two letters. Old, short words are good. I like "if."

But I hear Mardy Grothe is working on a new book. This book too will have quotations that all begin with the same word. So, could it be that this new word will be better than "if"?

I doubt it. Could any word be shorter than "if"? I don't think so. Older than "if"? No, not older either. So there seems little chance that this next book will be better than Ifferisms. Little chance at all.

Still, never say never.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Semper If, September 20, 2009

By 

W. A. Carpenter (Portland, OR USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms That Begin with the Word "IF" (Hardcover)

This is a collection of aphorisms (ifferisms) all beginning with that important little word "if." Now "if" can be a rather timid word - "if you wouldn't mind" - but not in this book. Each entry in this delightful book is upfront and has a definite opinion.

The contents range from humorous to thought provoking with a generous sampling of advice, insults, observations, and wit all taken from the author's amazing personal collection of quotes. I was first introduced to Dr. Grothe's writings on chiasmus and have since enjoyed his books on metaphors, repartee, and oxymorons. I have found that the more one knows about these kinds of word play, the more one enjoys playing kindly with words.

This is not an "iffy" book at all and I am pleased to recommend it to all lovers of the English language.