Customer Reviews

Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms That Begin with the Word "IF"

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Well, Mardy Grothe, a lIFelong quotation collector, has done it again. No sooner had the Global Language Monitor announced that the English language has reached the one-million word mark, but the gIFted Dr. Mardy has coined a new word to get us started on the second million. SpecIFically, the word is IFferisms, the title of the fIFth volume of quotations he has compiled, but with a dIFference. Every one of the quotations he has selected for this book begins with the word IF.

BeautIFully dedicated to his wIFe, the book is divided into 18 chapters, covering virtually every aspect of lIFe and the world we live in. In his Introduction, Dr. Mardy writes: "I have come to believe that IF is the biggest little word in the English language." In the fIFteen hundred (or so) selections which follow, signIFicantly amplIFied in his always informative and entertaining style, he makes his point well.

IF you'll take my advice, you'll swIFtly order your copy of IFferisms, and perhaps several more for family and friends. You'll find it a gratIFying read, one that's sure to give your spirits a lIFt!

It's only two letters. So you might not think the word "if" would pack a punch. But Rudyard Kipling made a classic poem out of "If." That's the whole title of the poem -- just "If."

Now Mardy Grothe goes Kipling one better. Mardy Grothe makes a book out of the word.

Maybe the power of "if" should not be a surprise. Winston Churchill thought that short words are best, and short, old words best of all. "If" could not be much shorter. Nor older. As a short, old word, "if" has power.

Other two-letter power-packing words are out there too. Like "is." Remember how important "is" turned out to be? An issue of national import once depended on what the definition of "is" is. A president said so. A president of the United States. Can't get much more important than that.

So if "if" intrigues you, pick up "Ifferisms." Mardy Grothe has put together a book-full (a full 336 pages, believe it or not) of sayings that all begin with the word "if."

If you are not familiar with him (he is a he, by the way), Dr. Mardy Grothe is a psychologist, management consultant, and public speaker. He wrote four previous word-and-language books:

-- I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like
-- Viva la Repartee
-- Oxymoronica
-- Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You.

And Mardy Grothe has a weekly newsletter of sayings that might liven up your Saturday nights. It does mine. I look for it every week. (Of course, it doesn't take much to liven up my Saturday nights. If yours are more lively, you can save the newsletter for Sunday. It keeps.)

But back to the book. Reading Ifferisms gave me a new respect for the word "if." No longer will I discount the power of just two letters. Old, short words are good. I like "if."

But I hear Mardy Grothe is working on a new book. This book too will have quotations that all begin with the same word. So, could it be that this new word will be better than "if"?

I doubt it. Could any word be shorter than "if"? I don't think so. Older than "if"? No, not older either. So there seems little chance that this next book will be better than Ifferisms. Little chance at all.

Still, never say never.

This is a collection of aphorisms (ifferisms) all beginning with that important little word "if." Now "if" can be a rather timid word - "if you wouldn't mind" - but not in this book. Each entry in this delightful book is upfront and has a definite opinion.

The contents range from humorous to thought provoking with a generous sampling of advice, insults, observations, and wit all taken from the author's amazing personal collection of quotes. I was first introduced to Dr. Grothe's writings on chiasmus and have since enjoyed his books on metaphors, repartee, and oxymorons. I have found that the more one knows about these kinds of word play, the more one enjoys playing kindly with words.

This is not an "iffy" book at all and I am pleased to recommend it to all lovers of the English language.

I admit I am a language freak, loving books like "Oxmoronica." This book of "Ifferisms" provides conversational snips of thoughts, all of which begin with the word "if." Some are profound, some are silly, some are existential. This is a terrific book to thumb through, to use as a gift, or place in your guest room. It will get people talking.

If I wrote a book as informative, amusing, and interesting as Dr, Mardy Grothe's Ifferisms, many people would be surprised! As readable as his other two books, Ifferisms would make a perfect gift, answering the question "If I knew what to buy grandma for Christmas..." The book is not just a list of quotations, but also contains the stories behind them. I have ordered several copies to have on hand when a token of "appreciation/thank you/get well/ happy birthday/ and just plain thought you'd like this" is needed. If you buy the book, you won't regret it.

If Mardy had been consistent he would have spelled his title "iffORisms", since it's "aphORisms", not "aphERisms". If I weren't such an obsessive/compulsive twit, this detail wouldn't matter to me at all, mainly because I wouldn't have noticed it in the first place. If you find my review annoying, I'm not surprised; if I had a nickel for every time I annoyed somebody, I'd have a billion dollars. If you had a billion dollars, how many nickels would you have? If I don't stop starting ("stop starting"?) my sentences with "if", I'm going to drive us all crazy. If you're so smart, YOU try starting each sentence with "if", and see how far YOU get. If I quit writing now, will you be sad? If you say yes, then you're worse off than I am. If you read Mardy's witty, wonderful book, you will enjoy yourself a lot more than you did reading this witless, mindless review of mine. If you read this far in the first place, that is.

If you love witty, clever, well-written books, this one is for you! In his latest book, IFFERISMS, Dr. Mardy Grothe has written another one of his scintillating, fascinating, and hard to put down collection of hilarious, profound, and stinging remarks from the famous and infamous. His intelligent introduction to each section sets the proper tone. His explanatory passages are perfect segues to even more interesting information about the situations, people, and emotional tone of the exchanges that provoked the remarks and bon mots he has collected over the years. His erudite comments lend so much to the book. Any chapter provides the reader with wisdom and wry observations on the human condition. I always look forward to his books and this one is no exception. I eagerly await "Neverisms" -- his next compilation of witticisms starting with Never. It's evident why his books reach #1 on Amazon's Best Sellers Lists in his genre.
-- Linnda Durre', Ph.D.

This is the fourth book by Grothe I have read. The best feature of the books are the short introductions and explanations of many aphorisms. He really has gone through a lot of trouble in finding the etymology of many sayings. The selections are good, though often rather negative. These books are not for those who want to find something positive to brisk their life. For an European some sections are a bit unfamiliar. I know American film and politics quite well, but sport sections are not for me. Some of the names are familiar, but American type of football and baseball are curious games for most Europeans. The are no aphorisms about wolleyball, cross-counry skiing or even track and field. Never mind, these are great books. I am going to use many of these aphorisms in my lectures (I have PhD in psychology, like Grothe).

Let me start this comment of mine with an ''ifferism'':

If you enjoyed reading any of the previous four books written by Dr. Mardy Grothe --namely, ''Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You'', ''Oxymoronica'', ''Viva la Repartee'', and ''I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like'', you are a certified lover of English language with its rich "library'' --the library which includes among its many, many rooms four dedicated, one each, to chiasmi, oxymorons, repartees, and metaphors.

Dr. Grothe has held for the past several years the position of Main Librarian in charge of the above four rooms.

Well, the board of directors of the library has announced that Dr. Grothe has been named as the Main Librarian in charge of one more room which has just been opened in the library: A room dedicated to ''ifferisms'' in English.

I visited the new room soon after it opened, and I loved browsing though the material therein. Dr. Grothe has collected and arranged the material obviously with much labor.



I enthusiastically invite you to obtain Dr. Grothe's new book ''Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms That Begin with the Word 'IF'.'', and read it. You'll like it.

The book has many humorous quotations, but they are greatly outnumbered by fillers--pretentious and non-witty platitudes. I also dislike

the author's practice of
setting quotes on the page
as if they were
poetry.

Also, most of the space in the book is taken by the author's "background" comments on the quotes. Most of the "background" is superfluous and boring and should be eliminated.