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Ignorance is Blitz: Mangled Moments of History From Actual College Students
 
 
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Ignorance is Blitz: Mangled Moments of History From Actual College Students [Paperback]

Anders Henriksson (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (108 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 4, 2008
Now in chunky format, the funniest book ever written about the history of Western Civilization. Originally published under the title Non Campus Mentis, this book made four national bestseller lists—The New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, and BookSense; has 200,000 copies in print; and garnered praise from across the country: "Glorious . . . equal-opportunity idiocy for every era."—Philadelphia Enquirer. "A horrifically hilarious compendium . . . knitting together errors, assumptions, and creative fact-making that are shocking and hysterical."—Associated Press. "You'll laugh until you cry, shedding tears for the state of American education."—Baltimore Sun.

Compiled by Professor Anders Henriksson from the term papers and blue book exams of students who clearly made it to college before the advent of "No Child Left Behind,"Ignorance Is Blitz is unput-downable. You won't believe what you just read, and won't want to wait to see what's coming next, from the Virgin Mary's Immaculate Contraption to Pericles' greatest erection, the Parthenonon to Custard's Last Stand to Hitler shooting himself in the Bonker and Martin Luther King's ground-breaking speech, "If I Had a Hammer." And who knew: Caesar was assassinated on the Yikes of March, when he is reported to have said, "Me too, Brutus." Rasputin was a pheasant by birth. Victims of the black plague grew boobs on their neck. Judyism had one big God named Yahoo. Marie Curie won the Nobel Prize for inventing the radiator. And "During the Dark Ages, it was mostly dark."

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Be prepared to weep as you read Non Campus Mentis: World History According to College Students, a horrifically hilarious compendium of actual North American college student essays. Learn about the victims of the Black Death (who "grew boobs on their necks"), the Automaton Empire, Martin Luther King's famous "If I Had a Hammer" speech, the Iran Hostess Crisis, Zorroastrologism (the "duelist" religion "founded by Zorro"), and Joan of Ark, Noah's wife, at rest on Mt. Arafat. Meet Dim El Sum of Korea, the Vestigal Virgins, "dedicated to burning the internal flame," and Hitler, who "shot himself in the bonker." Did you know a position as "lady-in-mating helped a young girl's chances for a marriage," and "the assignation of Archduke Ferdman gave sweet relief to mounting tensions," or that "the major cause of the Civil War is when slavery spread its ugly testicles across the West"?

Well, you'd better buckle down and learn, then! --Tim Appelo --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"Glorious... equal-opportunity idiocy for every era." - Philadelphia Enquirer. "A horrifically hilarious compendium... knitting together errors, assumptions, and creative fact-making that are shocking and hysterical." - Associated Press."

Product Details

  • Paperback: 155 pages
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; New edition (March 4, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 076114949X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0761149491
  • Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 4 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (108 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #100,672 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

108 Reviews
5 star:
 (79)
4 star:
 (20)
3 star:
 (5)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (108 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

105 of 109 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Hysterical History by College and Graduate Students!, November 23, 2001
By 
Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 109,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)   
This is the funniest book I have read in years!!!!!!

Knowing that I was a history major, my teenage daughter raced in last night to tell me I had to read this book and review it. Since her tips are usually outstanding, I went off in search of the book and found it hidden on the back shelf of a local book store. I glanced at one page . . . and was hooked! Soon, my loud laughs were drawing puzzled glances from all directions. Even after I finished the book, I kept rereading it. Some of the humor is even richer the second time.

Professor Henriksson worked with friends and colleagues at over two dozen colleges and universities to locate these quotes from actual term papers and blue-book examinations. In some cases, he has done a little editing to improve the flow, but he says the actual words and spellings are unchanged. Apparently, these examples reflect what students have written over the last 30 years in U.S. and Canadian colleges and universities.

"Every generation has to make sense of the past for itself." This is a book of errors, but ones that show "the ingenious and often comic ways we all attempt to make sense of information we can't understand because we have no context or frame of reference for it."

The entire history of humanity as we understand it is covered, from the Garden of Eden to prehistoric times to the world of the 1990s.

The errors broadly fall into the following categories:

1. Astonishing misstatements ("History . . . started in 1815." "Plato invented reality.").

2. Misspellings based on not understanding what the real word is or means ("Fryers were required to take a vow of pottery." "Unoccupied Bishop Bricks could be cause for problems.").

3. Geographical misplacements ("The French king moved the Popes to Arizona where he could keep an eye on them." "The Boston Tea Party was held at Pearl Harbor.").

4. People substitutions ("Dick Cavett was the first European to visit Newfoundland." "Yorktown was sight of Robert E. Lee's greatest victory.")

5. Misidentifications (". . . Spinning Jenny, a young girl forced to work more than 40 hours a week." "During the Middle Ages everyone was middle aged.").

6. Sexual Innuendoes ("Vauban was the royal Minister of Flirtation.").

At the end of the book are some hilarious maps that show where various countries and empires are "located."

To bring back a sense of reality, there's a brief quiz at the end (with no answers) that you can take to see how well you know your world history. I'm afraid that I failed the test. And my answers weren't nearly as funny as these. So the best laugh is on me!

I do hope that Professor Henriksson will gift us with another volume of marvelous work on fractured history.

For teachers of all subjects, this book points out the importance of getting feedback on what has been heard and understood in order to correct misunderstandings before testing students. That same lesson applies to all of us in overcoming the communications stall that plagues all human efforts at cooperation.

Where do you "make it up" when you don't know the answer? When would you be better off "looking it up" rather than "making it up?"

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83 of 86 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Gift for Teachers, October 16, 2001
By 
Timothy Walker (Orlando, Florida USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   
If God is indeed merciful, then we will not be condemned to repeat the history presented by these college students. Professor Henriksson has excerpted some stunning examples of "higher" learning from his student's essays, including such gems as:

* "The Wholey Roman Empire amazed many when it was found in Germany."

* "The Hundred Years War (1320-1600) was fought over English holidays in France."

* "World War II became the Cold War, because Benjamin Franklin Roosevelt did not trust Lenin and Stalin. An ironed curtain fell across the haunches of Europe."

And my personal favorite:

* "Anarchism is a system of government headed by an Anarch. Canada, for example, became an anarchy in 1867."

If you enjoy this sort of dry humor, then get a copy of this book for yourself or for the teacher in your life. And for the sake of humanity, MAKE YOUR KIDS DO THEIR HOMEWORK!

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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Very funny, but best taken in small doses, December 20, 2001
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Over the past 10 years or so, I've been the recipient of several e-mails containing the history of America (or of the world) according to student term papers, they have invariably been quite funny, and this book, which is a much expanded collection of similar writings, is also very good.

After reading about 10-20 pages at a sitting, though, I find I begin to get tired of the endless strings of mis-heard, mistyped, or just plain confused ramblings of people who actually managed to make it into college somehow (and worse yet, people who may already have gotten out of college). In small doses, though, this book really is quite hysterical.

This one goes straight to the magazine basket in the bathroom, where it will be much appreciated.

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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
World War, Civil War, United States, The British, The Russians
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