Customer Reviews

I'll Hold You in Heaven: Healings and Hope for the Parent of a Miscarried, Aborted, or Stillborn Child

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2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

As the Infertility Host for Bella Online, I thought this would be a good book to read. Jack Hayford has written a book entitled "I'll Hold You in Heaven - Healing and Hope for the Parent Who has Lost a Child through Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Abortion, or Early Infant Death." This book discusses the life of the child who has died during pregnancy or shortly after. This is done in 8 chapters. Chapter 1 is "The Gift of Loves." Chapter 2 is "When Does Significance Begin?" Chapter 3 is "Life to What Degree?" Chapter 4 is "Destiny in the Afterworld." Chapter 5 is "In Heaven as a Person." Chapter 6 is "Instruments of Healing." Chapter 7 is "The Heartbeat of Love." Chapter 8 is "Three Steps to Loving."

Although this book says that it is for any parent who has lost a child anytime from early in a pregnancy to shortly after a baby is born, I find that to not be true. This books seems to be more for someone who has had an abortion. There is a need for a book to minister to someone who has had an abortion, but I do not feel that this book should be marketed to people who have had a miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death, when it actually does not truly reach out to them.

In spite of the fact that I have a problem with how this book is marketed, I do appreciate Chapter 6 "Instruments of Healing." It gives 3 steps to take in working through your grief to reach a place of healing. The first is "Understanding the Truth About God." God can take the pain that you are feeling and use it for our good. The second is "Embrace the Process of Grief." Losing a child is truly a loss regardless of what anyone tells you. It is natural to grieve for a lost loved one. Let yourself grieve. The third is "Put Guilt in Its Place." Guilt is a part of the grief cycle. When you lose a child, you are sure that something you did or did not do caused your baby to die. One must confront their guilt and determine whether it is real or not. Whether your guilt is real or not, God can and will help you through this. You can reach a place of healing.

I feel the book offers hope that our babies have gone on to heaven, backed up by scripture references. However, I feel the book focuses too much on abortion. While there probably is a need for this type of forgiveness and resolution to those who have had abortions, it felt uncomfortable for me to be lumped in with those mothers. I have suffered a stillbirth at 38 1/2 weeks. I desperately wanted my child, so it bothered me to have to deal with the abortion issue so much throughout the book.

Two days after Christmas, in 1994, my baby died. She had not even been born yet; actually her life was only a few weeks old as she had only been conceived the first part of that month. But oh, how I grieved!

Noel was conceived in the midst of a long struggle with infertility. She has been our only *known* conception in all these years of trying to get pregnant, but my doctor and I think that I may have had several other miscarriages too early to know that I had even conceived.

I know that my babies aren't here anymore. I will never get to celebrate their births, nor watch them grow up. But where are they now? What happened to them? Were they ever really even "people"? _I'll Hold You in Heaven_ offers great assurance from the Bible that yes, my babies were and are very real. They have souls and are precious in God's sight. I have hope that I will see them again in Heaven some day where I will finally be able to hold my precious children and tell them just how much they have been loved and mourned on this earth.

I am now the director of a large Christian support organization designed to minister to couples hurting from the pain of infertility, pregnancy loss, or early infant death. I have a library of well over 100 excelent books on these issues, but _I'll Hold You in Heaven_ is the first book I try to encourage newly bereaved parents to read. It is small enough not to overwhelm, yet powerful enough to really help a couple begin their greiving and healing process. It possitively deals with several different kinds loss including miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, and early infant death.

Jennifer, "Hannah's Prayer" Director

When I lost my precious Makayla Zayne after 33 hours here on earth, I wondered how I would ever be able to cope with her death. If there was ever a baby that was going to be loved it was her. I'll Hold you in heaven is a must for anyone who has lost a baby thru abortion, miscarrage or neonatal death. What an assurance that we can have the opportunity to hold our babies in heaven if that is what we choose.

I was sure nothing could take the pain from my heart. As I looked at the tiny baby in my palm, I thought, "I never got to meet you."

"I'll hold you in Heaven" Is so full of loving wisdom, that I cried at the end of each chapter. I cried out of relief. That tiny bit of flesh is not my baby. My James David is alive and happy in my Heavenly home.

There is also great love and hope in this book for those mothers who are suffering the after-effects of abortion.

With the Help of Jack Hayford's loving words, you can turn this stumbling block into a stepping stone.

Are you a friend of someone who's gone through this? I'd suggest that you buy this book, too. It will give you a greater understanding, and a better grasp on how to help that loved-one heal.

After two years of infertility and two consecutive pregnancy losses at 8 weeks and 13 weeks, I have read many excellent books that helped me understand and deal with the emotional aspects of my miscarriages. However, none of them dealt as directly as I would have liked with what happens to the baby. I instinctively felt that the baby would be in heaven, but I was clueless as to what kind of form the baby would take, if I would know my baby when I got to heaven, etc.

This book addressed these questions very directly and with excellent scriptural back-up. I now have every confidence that I will spend eternity with both of my children, and that we will know and love each other when we are reunited.

This book is NOT a guide for dealing with the grief aspects of pregnancy loss, but it will answer many questions about the reality of your child as a living being. The answers to these questions were a big help to me in my quest for healing.

I lost my little girl at 17 weeks a little over two months ago due to two neural tube defects and searched for books to help me cope with my tragic loss. I bought this book and read it the day I got it, I couldn't put it down! It answered so many questions that I had asked after my loss. It has given me a sense of hope. If you have been through the loss of child, whether is be miscarriage, abortion, stillborn, etc. this book is for you.

This book was given to me when I lost a child. The book gave me a lot of encouragement and answered alot of nagging questions with promises/truths from God's word. After reading it, I found comfort in the knowledge that my child was in heaven.

I found the book very helpful! I lost a baby 9 years ago. I read the book then and it brought me great comfort. This book is one of the things that stands out in my mind as helping me cope with the loss. Just knowing that the baby is now with Jesus, and more happy than I could ever make it, is extremely comforting. I can i be sad knowing my baby is with Jesus?

viewed my babies. I have lost 3 little ones. After my second loss in Jan. 2000 at 4 1/2 months gestation and all the questions my 3 boys were asking, I started wondering how God viewed my unborn babies. Jack Hayford answered several of these questions. I didn't take his word for it. I went to visit the scriptures that he spoke of. This book doesn't tell what Jack Hayford thinks but what the bible promises us. God promises us a perfect world when He comes. Jack Hayford helped me to find the scriptures that shows that God recognizes our babies to be just as important as we are. In Psalms it talks about how our days are written in God's book before we are even formed in our mothers womb. We are all important and He loves all of us whether we are born here on earth or we go straight to heaven. Thank you Jack Hayford for helping me to see that my babies are going to be there when I get there and I can't wait to meet them. It was very hard for me to swallow the way society sweeps miscarriage under the rug and dismisses it as not a lose. But my faith has told me it doesn't matter what society thinks, I am right with God and He is good. I am sorry for the pain that we must feel losing our babies. I wish you peace of mind.